Never Let Go (2024)

 

**This post contains spoilers**

The Story- Momma (Halle Berry) lives in a secluded cabin deep in the woods with her sons, Nolan (Percy Daggs IV) and Samuel (Anthony B. Jenkins), and the family dog, Coda. Facing a daily struggle without any recent signs of survivors, Momma constantly fights to protect Samuel and Nolan from The Evil, a malevolent shape-shifting force, in a seemingly post-apocalyptic world. Momma has one crucial rule for survival: never remove or let go of the rope, or the “lifeline” connected to the house, because The Evil’s touch comes with fatal consequences.

Food is scarce, and as more time passes, Nolan starts to question Momma’s strange behavior and the reasons behind her decisions. Has the world come to an end? Or is it possible Momma is hiding something from Nolan and Samuel?

My Thoughts- Halle Berry strongly plays the role of a fierce and dedicated mother, who deeply loves her sons. Momma has moments of compassion, but she’s also stern and cruel during certain scenes. Maybe you can understand why Momma is hard on Nolan and Samuel, because after all, they’re allegedly trying to survive an apocalyptic event. 

As the story progresses, you’ll see Momma unravel more and more. The frazzled look for Momma helps during her descent into madness, and Berry does a great job of showing believable emotions. The stress, the panicked reactions, how unstable Momma becomes, when she believes The Evil is closing in, but Momma occasionally has just enough clarity to savor a few happy and peaceful moments with her sons. Momma is a complicated character with so many layers, and Halle Berry absolutely nails each one of them.

The tense relationship between Nolan and Samuel is truly one of the bigger highlights of the movie, strengthened by two solid performances from Anthony B. Jenkins and Percy Daggs IV. Nolan is more of a rebel, and a freethinker, while Samuel is obedient and one hundred percent loyal to his mother. The brotherly feud hits a boiling point after that scene in the greenhouse. Jenkins and Daggs IV carried Never Let Go to the finish line, a remarkable achievement for a movie that features a big veteran star. 

So what’s going on? Is the outside world a post-apocalyptic wasteland? Is something off upstairs with Momma? Well, they hold off the big reveal until the final moments of the movie, and guess what? Everything is fine! The appearance of a hiker (Matthew Kevin Anderson) and his daughter (Cadence Compton), no apocalypse, and the outside world and civilization is intact.

The Evil? Mental illness. The clues for something being off with Momma are obvious. A lot of her decisions didn’t make any sense, and I always had the feeling she was hiding something. Momma killing off the family was a big red flag. 

Sure, MAYBE you could buy into the idea that Momma had to kill her mother, her father, and Nolan and Samuel’s father to protect them from the infection, but that line of thinking falls apart, when you realize Momma is the only one, who can actually see The Evil. It was all just hallucinations, and in the end, Momma was a mentally ill mother, who was too far gone, and a danger to her children.

The big clincher happens, when Nolan sees the hallucination of Momma. Momma tells Nolan mental illness is in the blood, like a disease, and that he should give in. The final sequence with Nolan trying to escape the burning cabin, after a demented Samuel decided to burn everything delivers some solid thrills. Samuel blamed Nolan for Momma committing suicide. The tension between Nolan and Samuel finally hit a boiling point, and Samuel snapped, something that was teased a lot after Momma’s death.

An eerie ending, with Nolan and Samuel surviving after the fight, Momma’s death, and Nolan’s struggle to escape the cabin. And a few creepy moments, including the Polaroid photo with The Evil’s hand touching Samuel’s shoulder, and Samuel repeating the “She loves me more” line with that bizarre smile on his face.

Never Let Go leaves some puzzling unanswered questions. What was on the one photo Momma refused to show to Nolan and Samuel, the one she was saving for later? What exactly led Momma to do everything that she did, including hunkering down in the cabin? Yes, I know mental illness, and a mother protecting her children from the evils of the world are big factors. But there’s a difference between spoon feeding the answers, and not giving some kind of explanation, or at least dropping some hints that’ll lead somewhere.

It drags in certain parts, and the scenes, where The Evil appears in different forms are kind of hokey. But Never Let Go is still a solid film. Director Alexandre Aja gets the most out of an isolated setting in the forest, using silence and the sounds of nature to create a tense atmosphere, including a few spooky nighttime scenes. Halle Berry delivers a good performance in the leading role. Jenkins and Dagger IV contributed to the strained and sometimes broken family dynamic with a pair of impressive performances, and you can understand why Nolan and Samuel chose different paths before and after the greenhouse scene. 

Never Let Go cleverly connects the problems with suffering from a mental illness and evil. Going with the idea for evil and mental illnesses sharing a connection as a sort of infection or a disease, especially if it’s something that runs in the family, really works. If The Evil touches you, there’s a good chance it’ll destroy your mind (you can see what happened to Samuel during the ending). The scenes are a bit corny, but using snakes to represent The Evil makes sense, considering what they were going for. Momma pointed out The Evil can be deceptive, while wearing many skins, similar to a snake shedding its skin. 

The finale and the ending? For me, the big reveal wasn’t a shocking surprise. If you pay close attention to everything that’s going on, you should see the answers are right in front of you for what’s real and what’s not real, because certain events and Momma’s explanations just aren’t adding up, as the story progresses. Still, I guess you could say it’s a mostly satisfying and happy ending. And I’m slightly curious about a sequel or a prequel, because Never Let Go still needs to answer some big questions. 

Rating- 7/10

Never Let Go (2024)(Minor Spoilers)

 

**This post contains MINOR spoilers**

The Story- Momma (Halle Berry) lives in a secluded cabin deep in the woods with her sons, Nolan (Percy Daggs IV) and Samuel (Anthony B. Jenkins), and the family dog, Coda. Facing a daily struggle without any recent signs of survivors, Momma constantly fights to protect Samuel and Nolan from The Evil, a malevolent shape-shifting force, in a seemingly post-apocalyptic world. Momma has one crucial rule for survival: never remove or let go of the rope, or the “lifeline” connected to the house, because The Evil’s touch comes with fatal consequences.

Food is scarce, and as more time passes, Nolan starts to question Momma’s strange behavior and the reasons behind her decisions. Has the world come to an end? Or is it possible Momma is hiding something from Nolan and Samuel?

My Thoughts- Halle Berry strongly plays the role of a fierce and dedicated mother, who deeply loves her sons. Momma has moments of compassion, but she’s also stern and cruel during certain scenes. Maybe you can understand why Momma is hard on Nolan and Samuel, because after all, they’re allegedly trying to survive an apocalyptic event. 

As the story progresses, you’ll see Momma unravel more and more. The frazzled look for Momma helps during her descent into madness, and Berry does a great job of showing believable emotions. The stress, the panicked reactions, how unstable Momma becomes, when she believes The Evil is closing in, but Momma occasionally has just enough clarity to savor a few happy and peaceful moments with her sons. Momma is a complicated character with so many layers, and Halle Berry absolutely nails each one of them.

The tense relationship between Nolan and Samuel is truly one of the bigger highlights of the movie, strengthened by two solid performances from Anthony B. Jenkins and Percy Daggs IV. Nolan is more of a rebel, and a freethinker, while Samuel is obedient and one hundred percent loyal to his mother. The brotherly feud hits a boiling point after that scene in the greenhouse. Jenkins and Daggs IV carried Never Let Go to the finish line, a remarkable achievement for a movie that features a big veteran star. 

Never Let Go leaves some puzzling unanswered questions. What was on the one photo Momma refused to show to Nolan and Samuel, the one she was saving for later? What exactly led Momma to do everything that she did, including hunkering down in the cabin? Yes, I know mental illness, and a mother protecting her children from the evils of the world are big factors. But there’s a difference between spoon feeding the answers, and not giving some kind of explanation, or at least dropping some hints that’ll lead somewhere.

It drags in certain parts, and the scenes, where The Evil appears in different forms are kind of hokey. But Never Let Go is still a solid film. Director Alexandre Aja gets the most out of an isolated setting in the forest, using silence and the sounds of nature to create a tense atmosphere, including a few spooky nighttime scenes. Halle Berry delivers a good performance in the leading role. Jenkins and Dagger IV contributed to the strained and sometimes broken family dynamic with a pair of impressive performances, and you can understand why Nolan and Samuel chose different paths before and after the greenhouse scene. 

Never Let Go cleverly connects the problems with suffering from a mental illness and evil. Going with the idea for evil and mental illnesses sharing a connection as a sort of infection or a disease, especially if it’s something that runs in the family, really works. If The Evil touches you, there’s a good chance it’ll destroy your mind. The scenes are a bit corny, but using snakes to represent The Evil makes sense, considering what they were going for. Momma pointed out The Evil can be deceptive, while wearing many skins, similar to a snake shedding its skin. 

The finale and the ending? For me, the big reveal wasn’t a shocking surprise. If you pay close attention to everything that’s going on, you should see the answers are right in front of you for what’s real and what’s not real, because certain events and Momma’s explanations just aren’t adding up, as the story progresses. Still, I guess you could say it’s a mostly satisfying and happy ending. And I’m slightly curious about a sequel or a prequel, because Never Let Go still needs to answer some big questions. 

Rating- 7/10

Coming Attractions- Never Let Go (2024)

 

Director- Alexandre Aja

Cast- Halle Berry, Percy Daggs IV, Anthony B. Jenkins

Release Date- September 27, 2024

A story about a parent protecting their children from the evils of the world is effective and relatable. It’s heightened by the post-apocalyptic setting in Never Let Go, complete with a trailer that raises a lot of intriguing questions, without spoiling any big twists. One of the brothers questions if Halle Berry is telling the truth about what happened  in the outside world. Is there a chance Berry is suffering from some kind of mental condition? Or maybe she truly is a loving and concerned parent, who doesn’t want to lose her sons? What’s the significance of the snake tattoo?

Alexandre Aja is one of my favorite horror movie directors. The Hills Have Eyes 2006 is high up on my list of good horror remakes, including The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2003 and Let Me In. A truly tense and spooky trailer, but my only concern is Never Let Go might rely on a big shocking twist that’ll make or break the entire movie.

2013 End Of The Year Awards- Worst Film- Movie 43

"Hey. Here's an idea. Let's put a bunch of noteworthy actors and actresses, including two former Oscar winners (Kate Winslet and Halle Berry), in a sketch comedy anthology film together, so they can humiliate themselves for an hour and thirty-seven minutes. It'll be great!"

Well, there's one big problem with this thought process: the novelty of name actors and actresses humiliating themselves doesn't last long. To paint a clearer picture, the novelty wears off in the first fifteen to twenty minutes of the movie.

I'm not going to stand up on a soapbox for a morality, because if you follow my blog, you'll know I'm a big fan of some nasty and violent horror movies. With that said, Movie 43 features one of the worst cases of overkill I've ever seen.When you constantly go out of your way to shove gross-out gags and profane comedy down the audience's throats, the gags and the jokes quickly lose their intended shock value.

Need some examples? Vanessa (Anna Faris) wants her husband Jason (Chris Pratt) to defecate on her, and Jason loads up on Mexican food to prepare for the big night. Robert (Liev Schreiber) and Samantha (Naomi Watts) constantly humiliate and haze their home schooled son, Kevin (Jeremy Allen White), and one of the pranks involves tying Jeremy to a pole outside, and they use feces to write on his torso. And the short featuring Hugh Jackman's Davis? Oy vey. There's a scrotum attached  to Davis' chin, and for some reason, Kate Winslet (Jackman's date) is the only person, who notices or is bothered by Jackman's abnormal condition.

Movie 43 is unfunny and tedious. That's bad enough, but that's not the most frustrating problem with 2013's biggest turkey. The directors and writers completely wasted different sets of actors and actress with lame humor, dull jokes, and mind-numbing stupidity. Sorry, but it's unacceptable, and I can't look the other way, when you waste an overall cast that's LOADED with talent.

There's a reason why I chose the picture with Richard Gere for this post. Gere's body language and facial expressions during the iBabe short capture my "what am I watching????" feelings for this abomination during my trip to the theater. Honestly, I had high hopes for Movie 43, but Movie 43 earned a spot on my list of bad theater experiences, because it's a chore to sit through, and I couldn't shake the felling of someone cheating me out of $10.00.

Gothika (2003)(Minor Spoilers Review)

**This review contains MINOR spoilers. No major reveals or big twists.**

Miranda Grey (Halle Berry) is a dedicated psychiatrist, and she’s trying to help a troubled patient. Chloe (Penelope Cruz) pleads her case to Miranda, but Miranda dismisses accusations of rape within the hospital as paranoia from Chloe’s mental illness.

At the same mental hospital, Miranda works with her boss and  husband, Dr. Douglas Grey (Charles S. Dutton), another psychiatrist named Pete Graham (Robert Downey, Jr.), and Phil Parsons (Bernard Hill). During a stormy night, Doug’s best friend and the town Sheriff, Sheriff Ryan (John Carroll Lynch) instructs Miranda to take a detour on the routine trip home to avoid a dangerous sinkhole.

On the back roads, Miranda spots a petrified girl standing in the middle of the street. Miranda tries to help, but the girl catches fire out of nowhere. The flames engulf Miranda after the girl touches her, and Miranda is the victim of an unexpected blackout.

Miranda awakes in the mental hospital, but she’s not a doctor anymore. Miranda is wearing a hospital gown, and she’s locked in her cell as a patient. Confused and desperate for answers, Miranda learns the reasons for her imprisonment from Pete: Doug was murdered on the night of the storm, and Miranda is the prime suspect.

As a patient, Miranda is forced to rely on Chloe and Pete as allies, and Chloe’s stories about a mysterious attacker could lead Miranda in the right direction, and give her the answers she‘s looking for. And a bitter Sheriff Ryan won’t stop until he punishes Doug’s killer. Phil takes control of the mental hospital after Doug’s death, and Miranda tries to learn more about the girl in flames. Is Miranda a cold-blooded killer, who snapped and murdered her husband? Or is Miranda the victim of an uncontrollable and deadly demonic possession?

Halle Berry delivers the best performance as Miranda Grey. Miranda Grey is a broken and confused woman, who’s struggling to find some solace in her life after an unspeakable tragedy. Berry is head and shoulders above everyone else in this cast, as the rattled widow, who’s determined to uncover the truth, and Berry will convince you to believe in Miranda’s side of the story.

Penelope Cruz provides the second best performance in this cast, as the unhinged victim with a quirky sense of humor. Robert Downey, Jr. is decent enough as Pete, and it’s not fair to judge Charles S. Dutton’s performance as Doug. Doug has ONE scene within the first ten minutes of the movie. After that, Doug’s appearances are limited to sporadic flashbacks, and that’s it. And John Carroll Lynch is harmless as Sheriff Ryan. You’ll see his true colors during the finale (more on that later), and there’s a scene, where Sheriff Ryan loses his cool during a tense Q & A session with Miranda, but one outburst isn’t something to brag about.

Gothika is far from perfect. The preposterous stuff, and the plot holes will annoy most people, and Gothika has an infamous legacy as a panned turkey. But I guess I’m in the small crowd of twenty people, who actually enjoy Gothika.

Yeah, I know it’s loaded with problems, but Gothika features an intriguing murder mystery, and the constant twists and turns will keep you guessing until the very end. Who’s the culprit? Is it Pete? Chloe? Or is Miranda a ruthless murderer, who waited for the right moment to unleash her rage on Doug? The answers to Miranda’s questions aren’t so easy to figure out, because Gothika constantly shifts the spotlight to different suspects throughout the movie. Plus, Gothika doesn’t rely on tons of blood and gore to get the job done, and that’s a refreshing change for mainstream R-rated horror films.

Rating: 6/10

Michael Jordan had another run with the Wizards after winning six championships. Brett Favre was one step away from earning a second ring with the Vikings.

As the world's definitive multi-talented superstar athlete, Trisha Bunrastar is taking an unexpected and shocking leap into a new career path. Assuming the identity of Freechelle Fantabulous, Trisha vows to fight crime and battle evildoers as a superheroine. Will she conquer her new mission? Find out more here! http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFLI6VK

Or take a trip into my special world of madness that includes comedy, horror, and the supernatural in this collection of short stories- http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFMYZ0U

Remember Amazon offers free Kindle App downloads for various platforms. Follow this link to find out more- http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html?ie=UTF8&docId=1000493771

And don't forget to follow me on Twitter here- https://twitter.com/LQuigleyFan1

Gothika (2003)(Spoiler Review)

**This review contains spoilers**

Miranda Grey (Halle Berry) is a dedicated psychiatrist, and she’s trying to help a troubled patient. Chloe (Penelope Cruz) pleads her case to Miranda, but Miranda dismisses accusations of rape within the hospital as paranoia from Chloe’s mental illness.

At the same mental hospital, Miranda works with her boss and  husband, Dr. Douglas Grey (Charles S. Dutton), another psychiatrist named Pete Graham (Robert Downey, Jr.), and Phil Parsons (Bernard Hill). During a stormy night, Doug’s best friend and the town Sheriff, Sheriff Ryan (John Carroll Lynch) instructs Miranda to take a detour on the routine trip home to avoid a dangerous sinkhole.

On the back roads, Miranda spots a petrified girl standing in the middle of the street. Miranda tries to help, but the girl catches fire out of nowhere. The flames engulf Miranda after the girl touches her, and Miranda is the victim of an unexpected blackout.

Miranda awakes in the mental hospital, but she’s not a doctor anymore. Miranda is wearing a hospital gown, and she’s locked in her cell as a patient. Confused and desperate for answers, Miranda learns the reasons for her imprisonment from Pete: Doug was murdered on the night of the storm, and Miranda is the prime suspect.

As a patient, Miranda is forced to rely on Chloe and Pete as allies, and Chloe’s stories about a mysterious attacker could lead Miranda in the right direction, and give her the answers she‘s looking for. And a bitter Sheriff Ryan won’t stop until he punishes Doug’s killer. Phil takes control of the mental hospital after Doug’s death, and Miranda tries to learn more about the girl in flames. Is Miranda a cold-blooded killer, who snapped and murdered her husband? Or is Miranda the victim of an uncontrollable and deadly demonic possession?

Halle Berry delivers the best performance as Miranda Grey. Miranda Grey is a broken and confused woman, who’s struggling to find some solace in her life after an unspeakable tragedy. Berry is head and shoulders above everyone else in this cast, as the rattled widow, who’s determined to uncover the truth, and Berry will convince you to believe in Miranda’s side of the story.

Penelope Cruz provides the second best performance in this cast, as the unhinged victim with a quirky sense of humor. Robert Downey, Jr. is decent enough as Pete, and it’s not fair to judge Charles S. Dutton’s performance as Doug. Doug has ONE scene within the first ten minutes of the movie. After that, Doug’s appearances are limited to sporadic flashbacks, and that’s it. And John Carroll Lynch is harmless as Sheriff Ryan. You’ll see his true colors during the finale (more on that later), and there’s a scene, where Sheriff Ryan loses his cool during a tense Q & A session with Miranda, but one outburst isn’t something to brag about.

Who’s the girl in flames? It’s Phil’s deceased daughter, Rachel. Rachel’s death was an apparent suicide, but Miranda escapes the hospital to search for the truth. Miranda’s investigation leads her to Doug’s farmhouse in Willow Creek, Rhode Island. In a secret underground lair, Miranda discovers a torture chamber with a bed. Here, Miranda learns the truth: Rachel didn‘t commit suicide. Instead, Rachel and other young girls were Doug’s victims in a series of brutal sexual assaults and murders.

For years, Doug lived a double life kidnapping and killing young girls, and Miranda never suspected anything, because Doug embodied the persona of the perfect husband. As a ghost, Rachel used her powers to possess Miranda. Under Rachel’s influence, Miranda killed Doug.

But it’s not over yet. As a warning sign, Rachel carved “Not alone” in one of Miranda’s arms. Miranda couldn’t figure out the meaning behind this warning at first, but everything comes together towards the end. Rachel was trying to drop a hint about Doug’s partner in crime, or his disciple.

During an awkward conversation with Sheriff Ryan in her jail cell, Miranda finally puts the pieces of the puzzle together. As Doug’s best friend, Sheriff Ryan was Doug’s accomplice, and Ryan is the one, who continuously  raped Chloe, because Sheriff Ryan had easy access to the mental hospital. And Miranda used Sheriff Ryan’s tattoo of a woman in flames (Anima Sola) as a crucial clue to expose Ryan as the second killer (Miranda also spotted the tattoo during a rape involving Chloe at the hospital).

Sheriff Ryan tries to attack and kill Miranda, because she has the evidence to convict Ryan. But Rachel’s ghost shows up at the last second to help Miranda during the fight. Rachel uses her powers to burn Sheriff Ryan, and Miranda uses a gun to kill Ryan with one shot to the head. To end the movie, Miranda and Chloe embrace as free women, and Chloe thanks Miranda for her help. In return, Miranda thanks Chloe for opening her eyes.

My thoughts on the big reveals at the end? It’s a double-edged sword for a few reasons. Yes, BOTH reveals are genuinely shocking. First, Miranda unknowingly wanders into this dungeon of horrors to learn about the other side of her husband’s double-life, and Berry did a job of selling the surprise with this horrified and shocked look on her face.

The Sheriff Ryan reveal was executed to perfection. Miranda and Ryan are just sitting together, and they’re having this casual chat. But Miranda uses her skills as a  psychiatrist to analyze Ryan’s personality, and in a matter of moments, Miranda realizes Ryan is the disciple. It’s a good swerve, because one minute you get the impression Miranda and Ryan are one step closer to solving the mystery of the second killer together. But Miranda is forced to fight off a crazed Sheriff Ryan after his confession.

The bad side? Two big plot holes. Okay, so if Rachel uses her powers to burn Ryan alive, then why did she possess Miranda, and force her to kill Doug? When you stop and think about it, possessing Miranda was unnecessary, because Rachel had the power to kill Doug AND Sheriff Ryan by herself with no help.

Also, I’m supposed to believe NOBODY at the hospital notices the town Sheriff, who removes his shirt to reveal the big tattoo on his chest, and his suspicious behavior? You know, the guy, who constantly “sneaks” in and out of the hospital on a weekly basis. Seriously? Sorry, but Gothika opens the gap in logic problems, when they show off the complex security system.

Gothika is far from perfect. The preposterous stuff (i.e. Miranda’s escape from the hospital) and the plot holes will annoy most people, and Gothika has an infamous legacy as a panned turkey. But I guess I’m in the small crowd of twenty people, who actually enjoy Gothika.

Yeah, I know it’s loaded with problems, but Gothika features an intriguing murder mystery, and the constant twists and turns will keep you guessing until the very end. Who’s the culprit? Is it Pete? Chloe? Or is Miranda a ruthless murderer, who waited for the right moment to unleash her rage on Doug? The answers to Miranda’s questions aren’t so easy to figure out, because Gothika constantly shifts the spotlight to different suspects throughout the movie.

Plus, Gothika doesn’t rely on tons of blood and gore to get the job done, and that’s a refreshing change for mainstream R-rated horror films. During a flashback, Miranda relives Doug’s murder, and you can see Doug’s bloody legs twisted behind him, but it‘s a quick shot, so you barely see anything. And when she returns to the house, Miranda has a vision of herself sitting in a bathtub full of blood, but that’s it, because you won’t see anything too gross or extreme in Gothika.

Rating: 6/10

Michael Jordan had another run with the Wizards after winning six championships. Brett Favre was one step away from earning a second ring with the Vikings.

As the world's definitive multi-talented superstar athlete, Trisha Bunrastar is taking an unexpected and shocking leap into a new career path. Assuming the identity of Freechelle Fantabulous, Trisha vows to fight crime and battle evildoers as a superheroine. Will she conquer her new mission? Find out more here! http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFLI6VK

Or take a trip into my special world of madness that includes comedy, horror, and the supernatural in this collection of short stories- http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFMYZ0U

Remember Amazon offers free Kindle App downloads for various platforms. Follow this link to find out more- http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html?ie=UTF8&docId=1000493771

And don't forget to follow me on Twitter here- https://twitter.com/LQuigleyFan1

Movie 43 (2013)

**This review contains spoilers**


Charlie Wessler (Dennis Quaid) is down on his luck. Charlie tries to pitch a unique idea for a movie to Griffin Schraeder (Greg Kinnear), a film executive. Charlie proposes an idea that would involve various comedy shorts featuring notable Hollywood stars. Charlie’s edginess and vulgarity is too much for Griffin, but Charlie forces Griffin into a meeting to discuss the film at gunpoint. Griffin must convince his boss, Bob (Common) to buy the movie, and he must interrupt a very important meeting with Seth MacFarlane to do so. Charlie needs the money and fame to resurrect his career, and “The Pitch” could give him one more shot at stardom.

Movie 43 is not funny. I might as well get that out of the way now, because I’ll probably go on another long rant. Movie 43 tries WAY too hard. Being outrageous and vulgar is one thing, but when you constantly shove gross-out gags and profane comedy down the audience’s throat, the jokes just lose their shock factor after a while. Movie 43 is a prime example for one of the worst cases of overkill I’ve ever seen in any type of movie. And here come the examples (in no specific order, just picking out the worst ones)!

#1- Beth (Kate Winslet) is looking for the right guy, so she goes on a blind date with Davis (Hugh Jackman), a wealthy and successful businessman. Beth is overwhelmed with joy…..until Davis removes his scarf to reveal a scrotum attached to his chin.

My Thoughts: Eh, the shock factor of seeing Hugh Jackman with a scrotum attached to his chin wore off pretty quickly for me. It wasn’t funny, and the over the top antics didn’t help anything. And for some strange reason Beth is the ONLY person, who notices, and has a problem with Davis’ unusual condition? Okay then. I’ll give Kate Winslet and Jackman credit for effort, but Jackman’s freak show carny character wasn‘t funny. In fact, the bearded lady would’ve been a better choice.

#2- Jason (Chris Pratt) and Vanessa (Anna Faris) have plans to take their relationship to the next level. During a picnic, Jason prepares to propose to Vanessa, but before he can pop the big question, Vanessa reveals her fantasy: she wants Jason to defecate on her. Jason is the loyal husband, so he decides to honor Vanessa’s request by loading up on Mexican food and a liquid laxative. But Jason and Vanessa run into some problems on the big night.

My Thoughts: What…the fuck? Truth be told, I knew the big secret behind this short, because I watched the red band trailers. STILL, this. Was. Not. Funny! The shitty conclusion (no pun intended) involves Jason running out into the street to catch Vanessa after an argument. And as he’s chasing his girlfriend, Jason is hit by a car in the rear, and Jason has an accident on impact. Pratt and Faris are married in real life, so I guess they felt comfortable doing this bizarre short with each other. But I couldn’t get into this. I just couldn’t. There’s a scene, where Jason discusses the strategy for the big night with his friends during a barbecue, while Vanessa decorates a cake with poo colored frosting. Yeah.

3#- Emily (Halle Berry) and Donald (Stephen Merchant) are on a blind date at a Mexican restaurant. Emily and Donald met each other through an online dating service, but Emily is bored during the date, so she decides to spice things up with a risky game of truth or dare.

My Thoughts: Overkill is a reoccurring  problem for Movie 43, and this short is a prime example of the second biggest problem here. The game of truth or dare between Emily and Donald wasn’t bad at first. Emily dares Donald to grab a guy’s butt, and Donald dares Emily to blow out the candles on a blind kid’s birthday cake. But they ran the dare gimmick into the ground. Halle Berry fills up a turkey baster with hot sauce, and she sticks it in her……well, just use your imagination. And somehow they managed to top the awfulness of that dare with dueling plastic surgery dares between Emily and Donald. Halley Berry’s prosthetic, floppy, and large breasts brought a facepalm out of me, and during another dare, Berry dips her breasts in guacamole sauce.

4#- Robert (Liev Schreiber) and Samantha (Naomi Watts) are home schooling their son, Kevin (Jeremy Allen White). But Robert and Samantha’s odd methods raise some serious questions for two visiting neighbors.

My Thoughts: Well, Robert and Samantha are home schooling Kevin, but they decide to bully him at the same time. That’s right. And the methods of bullying include, but are not limited to, tying Kevin to  a flagpole in the front yard, using feces to write obscenities on his chest, locking him outside of the house during a party, and teasing incest. Again, I tried to laugh, but I just couldn’t.

Movie 43 is a giant shit-fest. The novelty of popular celebrities humiliating themselves didn’t last long for me. In fact, this novelty wore off in the first fifteen minutes. I was HOPING for Movie 43 to get better as time passed, but it didn’t. Also, Snooki has a cameo in this film.

The superhero skit was incredibly lame, because it revolved around Batman being a dick, and a lame running joke about Kristen Bell’s private parts. Chloe Grace Moretz and Christopher Mintz-Plasse’s short was an abomination. Moretz’s character experiences her first period, and for some asinine reason everyone panics? And the solution is to use one of those micro fiber mops as a cork to stop Moretz’s “problem.” The Leprechaun short with Johnny Knoxville, Sean William Scott, and Gerard Butler was hideous, and they ran every dick joke imaginable into the ground. The iBabe garbage was beyond stupid. In short, it’s a storyline about life sized iPods with naked women. Kate Bosworth and Richard Gere are executives of the company for the iBabe. Bosworth is trying to shut down production, because teenage males are injuring themselves by playing with the bottom half of the iBabe.

And the commercials within the movie just felt like a big waste of time. The iBabe commercials showed another naked woman, and the black and white commercial with office workers spitting on underprivileged children, who operate copying machines couldn‘t pull the intended shock value laugh out of me. Also, they just had to throw in the predictable and lame post-credits blooper/gag reel featuring the entire cast.

But stick around after the credits, because Movie 43 has one more trick up its sleeve! Elizabeth Banks’ character is in a committed and loving relationship with Josh Duhamel’s character. But there’s one problem…… Anson’s (Duhamel) homosexual cat named Beezel is attracted to his owner, and Beezel hates Amy (Banks) for coming between them. Oh, and the cat is animated (I’m not kidding). Beezel is shown in some pretty graphic sexual situations for an animated cat. Beezel uses a hairbrush to cope with (use your imagination) the thought of losing Anson, and Beezel’s actions left me speechless, but not for good reasons, though. The final scene involves Amy walking into a trap set up by Beezel, leading to a fight between the two, and Amy is beaten to death by a group of children at a birthday party? Seriously? And the children use party favors to murder Amy. 

I honestly can’t imagine someone having any middle ground for Movie 43. You’re going to hate it, or you’re going to love it. It’s that simple. And I hated it, easily the biggest turkey of 2013 so far. Ugh, I can’t believe I wasted time watching this. 

Final Rating: 0/10

Dark Tide (2012)

**This review contains spoilers**

Kate Mathieson (Halle Berry) enjoys her life, as a highly skilled marine biologist and diver. Kate earned a well respected reputation as the “shark whisperer” during her swimming adventures with Great White Sharks, but during a routine dive, Kate makes a fatal mistake. Her incorrect command causes the death of a friend and fellow diver, and Kate can’t escape the guilt of this tragic accident.

One year later, Kate is trying to move on, and pick up the broken pieces in her life. Kate is the owner of boat tour service in Cape Town, South Africa, but Kate can’t handle the thought of dealing with sharks anymore. Instead, she gives tours for the more friendly sea creatures (seals, whales, dolphins, etc.), but past due bills are becoming a serious problem. Kate is desperate, broke, and down on her luck, but her husband/business partner could provide some much needed help. Jeff Mathieson (Oliver Martinez) has found a rich and cocky client, who is willing to spend a lot of money for a sea tour….but Brady Ross (Ralph Brown) wants to see sharks, and Kate‘s expert guidance is required. Brady is more than willing to take the risk, but Kate isn’t ready to deal with sharks again. She can’t escape the memories of the attack, and she continues to hold a grudge against Jeff, but Kate needs the money, so she agrees to do the tour. But the simple tour eventually takes a turn for the worst, and Kate will have to face her fears of sharks, because returning to the water becomes an inescapable life or death decision.

Boring. This is the one word I would use to describe Dark Tide. This was supposed to be a suspense/thriller, but trying to stay awake during this film was a real test. I almost fell asleep three of four times, because Dark Tide couldn’t provide any real suspense or thrills for me. John Stockwell’s horribly bland style of directing really hurt this film, and Dark Tide just goes through the motions the entire time. You can see everything coming from a mile away, and for me, Dark Tide didn’t provide an enjoyable ride to the end. Dark Tide has a runtime of one hour and fifty-four minutes, and you will feel every second of it, because this film just drags along, and the painful boredom caused too many facepalms for me. “OH GOD, WHEN WILL THIS END!?!?!” This is the one question I kept asking myself throughout this film, because the story for Dark Tide doesn’t feature a lot of depth. Nearly two hours was too much to handle, and they really didn’t need this much time to explain the shallow and thin story for Dark Tide.

For the most part, the acting is solid enough. Halle Berry, Oliver Martinez, and Ralph Brown provided the bulk of enjoyable performances. Berry wasn’t bad as the leading lady here, but she wasn’t the true star of this film. That honor goes to Ralph Brown. Brady was the rich, narcissistic, asshole, who loved to throw his weight around, and Brown’s performance was just excellent. Again, Berry wasn’t bad in the lead role, but she was upstaged by Ralph Brown here. There’s no doubt about it.

Also, I couldn’t buy into Kate’s struggle here. Kate was supposed to be this traumatized woman, who couldn’t let go of the past, and she couldn’t overcome her fear of sharks, but I couldn’t sense any sort of conflict in this character. Berry doesn’t show any strong emotions until the very end of the film. Considering the circumstances surrounding her character, I should’ve been able to feel strong feelings of sympathy towards Kate, but I couldn’t. Berry managed to deliver a solid performance, but at times, I couldn’t escape this “she’s just mailing it in” feeling.

And Kate’s unbelievably stupid decision towards the end did provide a jaw-dropping moment for me, but not for good reasons, though.

Okay, so Kate is terrified of sharks, and she can’t escape the guilt of causing someone else’s death. Well, we’re in the final moments of the film, and Brady has become a real jerk. He can’t smoke a cigarette to calm his nerves (Kate doesn’t allow smoking on her boat, but she doesn’t have a problem, when Jeff lights up a cigarette? Okay then.), and Kate won’t allow him to swim with the sharks. If Brady goes in the water, he MUST stay in a cage. This is Kate’s #1 rule. But Brady wants to be a rebel, and he continues to push Kate’s buttons. After Brady’s taunting and an intense argument with Jeff, Kate decides to take the crew (which includes Brady’s son, Luke) to a different location. The new location is FILLED with sharks, Kate has been pushed over the edge, and she wants to prove herself to Brady and Jeff.

Kate tries to showcase her new found courage, but the boat runs into a series of rough waves. Kate’s boat eventually flips over, and the hungry sharks begin to close in. Kate’s goofy and trusted friend (apparently, he’s in charge of safety on Kate’s boat, and no, I don‘t care to know his name.) loses his life during a shark attack. Brady tries to avoid one of the shark attacks, but he suffers one of the more gruesome deaths here. In the end, Kate, Jeff, and Luke (Luke Tyler) survive, and they’re able to find safe shelter inside a liferaft, as they await a much needed rescue mission.

So let me get this straight. At the beginning of the film, Kate is responsible for the death of a teammate. Then, towards the end of the film, she causes TWO more deaths? Really??? Yeah, I get it. Brady and Jeff pushed her over the edge, and she had to prove herself. But why would you lead an innocent group of people towards shark infested waters? You’re a marine biologist, who specializes in sharks. You know what could happen, and you know the incredible risk involved. Plus, you already survived an incident, that involved a death caused by a shark attack, and you STILL take everyone towards the sharks regardless? Unbelievable.

In the end, the Kate character didn’t learn anything, and she didn’t find any redemption. And how could she overcome her fears of sharks? After all, she did cause the deaths of two more people, and her stupid decision was the main the reason for their demise. The boredom was bad enough, and Dark Tide’s nonsensical screenplay just made everything worse.


Dark Tide is a dull and boring suspense thriller, that features too many long-drawn-out conversations/arguments, and I really didn’t care about any of the characters in this film. I couldn’t get into the story, and the ending really doesn’t make any sense at all. A few brutal and bloody shark attacks/kills towards the end did help this rating a little bit, and they did throw in somemoments of suspense at the end, but I can’t forget about the rest of the film. Dark Tide is just terrible, and this film deserves all of its harsh treatment. It’s a shame, because Dark Tide has a simple enough premise for an enjoyable suspense/thriller, but the screenplay and John Stockwell’s style of directing ruined this film.

Halle Berry is the same woman, who won the Oscar for Best Actress ten years ago, right? For years Berry relied on her sex appeal, but her good looks didn’t win the Oscar for Monster’s Ball. No. It was raw talent, and Berry did give an outstanding effort in Monster’s Ball. But when I take a look at Berry’s body of work, I‘m going to think of someone, who fits the profile of a “one hit wonder.” Her work in the 90’s is VERY forgettable, she has to be remembered as the most uninteresting Bond girl (Die Another Day), and she can’t take any credit for the first two X-Men films. After winning the Oscar for Monster’s Ball, Berry’s career sunk to embarrassing lows. She’s been caught in an awful downward spiral for years. This is an indisputable fact. Perfect Stranger and Catwoman were horrendous (especially Catwoman), and Things We Lost In The Fire was an unbearable piece of melodramatic trash. Also, having a part in New Year’s Eve didn’t help anything. Unlike the overwhelming majority of the critics, I actually enjoyed Gothika. It was an enjoyable horror flick, that featured an incredible and shocking twist, but one film isn’t enough.

Berry isn’t an awful actress. She’s solid enough, and she does look pretty good for a forty-five year old woman, but the vast majority of her career isn’t impressive at all. She’s starred in so many bad films (can’t forget about B.A.P.S), and Catwoman is a potential career killer. Hell, Berry actually showed up to accept her Razzie Award for the Worst Actress in person. Actresses and actors accepting their Razzie Award in person is a very rare occurrence (for obvious reasons), and Berry willingly showing up to accept this award should tell you something about Catwoman. Catwoman was atrocious, and it’s hard to argue against Berry’s win for Worst Actress, but Dark Tide almost out ranks Catwoman for the #1 spot of worst films on Berry’s resume. Yeah, it’s that bad.

Final Rating: 1/10