The Condemned (2007)(Minor Spoilers Review)

**This review contains MINOR spoilers. No major character deaths, reveals, or twists.**

Jack Conrad (Stone Cold Steve Austin) has one shot at freedom, but he’ll have to compete in a fight or die reality game show to earn his ticket. As a former US Army soldier, Jack is stuck in a corrupt and brutal prison in El Salvador, and he’s awaiting his execution, but a last minute offer from the warden changes everything.

Jack agrees to participate in Ian Breckel’s (Robert Mammone) reality show on a remote island, so Breckel writes a big check for Jack’s release. On the island, Jack is forced to compete against other death row inmates from different countries. Jack fights Ewan McStarley (Vinnie Jones), Go Saiga (Masa Yamaguchi), Yasantwa Adei (Emelia Burns), Petr Raudsep (Nathan Jones), Lamont Bruggerman (Andy McPhee), Kreston Mackie (Marcus Johnson), Paco Pacheco (Manu Bennett), and his wife, Rosa (Dasi Ruz). Another death row inamte named Teach (Rai Fazio) fights the helicopter drop into the water, and he suffers an accidental death after a hard landing.

The contestants receive food, water, and weapons during scattered supply drops, but time is running out. Each contestant is wearing the mandatory ankle bracelet bomb. In thirty hours, the bomb will explode, and if a contestant tries to tamper with the bomb, they’ll trigger an explosion. The contestants are furious, but Breckel offers two choices for salvation: Option one, said contestant can choose to pull the red card on the bomb to trigger an explosion, or you can avoid suicide with a win.

Breckel receives support from a team that includes his girlfriend, Julie (Tory Mussett), Goldy (Rick Hoffman), Bella (Sam Healy), Eddie (Christopher Baker), and Baxter (Luke Pegler). Cameras are rolling 24/7, millions from around the world pay $49.99 to watch Breckel’s game, and Breckel is trying to shatter records for page views, so he can brag about beating ratings for the most recent Super Bowl.

McStarley emerges as the early favorite to win it all, but Jack has plans to throw a monkey wrench into Breckel’s sadistic game, when he reaches out to his ex-girlfriend, Sarah Cavanaugh (Madeleine West) for help. A reporter named Donna Sereno (Angie Milliken) scolds Breckel during an interview, and the FBI tracks Breckel’s game with some helpful tips from Sarah. Does Jack have a chance as a one man wrecking crew? Or will he run out of time and allies, when the bomb explodes?

Steve Austin is a suitable fit for Jack. Jack is limited to snappy one-liners, and a barrage of fight scenes, so you don’t have to worry about any problems with Austin stepping out of his comfort zone. On top of that, Jack is a scrappy guy with a good heart, and he’s trying to do the right thing, so you want to root for him.

Vinnie Jones fills his usual role for the snarling tough guy, and Jones is a nice fit for the sleazy and despicable adversary. Robert Mammone is a believable scumbag, and Rick Hoffman provides most of the comic relief here. Can’t say too much about the other death row inmates. For the most part, they’re scoundrels and savages, who will do anything to survive, but Paco, Rosa, and Mackie emerge as likeable characters as the story progresses.

My biggest problem with The Condemned? Mixed signals. The Condemned wants to be this mindless fun, guilty pleasure action film, but the need to deliver messages of morality muddles the tone for this one. Donna scolds Breckel for making a “snuff film” during an interview at the beginning, and towards the end, Donna proudly stands on her soap box to express her disappointment and disgust with the paying customers for Breckel’s show during a long-winded soliloquy. And I can’t forget about Julie’s teary-eyed pleas to Breckel, and Goldy’s moral dilemma.

Think about it like this. You’re sitting down at a fast food restaurant, and you’re about to devour a double cheeseburger with a large fry, a large soda, and a large chocolate milkshake. Out of nowhere, an employee walks up to you before you take your first bite. He or she puts a list on the table. This list contains the nutrition facts for everything in front of you.

After you look at the list, are you thinking about enjoying your food, or pigging out with no shame? No. Now you’re thinking about extra calories and pounds you don’t need, high blood pressure, and clogged arteries. That’s the biggest problem here: Occasionally, The Condemned ruins the fun with preachy morality gibberish. Also, the teased rape scene at the beginning, and the implied rape scene with Rosa and McStarley don’t help the problem. They don’t show everything in the Rosa scene, but you know what’s going on.

The Condemned had a shot at cult classic gold, but I’m going with a bare minimum passing score for this one. Yeah, the preachy stuff is annoying at times, and certain scenes of depravity feel random and unnecessary. But The Condemned delivers enough hard hitting fight scenes and sporadic bursts of adrenaline filled action sequences to hold your attention for one hour and fifty-three minutes. Plus, the cheesy one-liners are good for a few cheap laughs. In the end, I’m just glad we don’t have to worry about The Condemned 2 or 3 for more useless and forgettable straight-to-video releases.

Rating: 5/10

Michael Jordan had another run with the Wizards after winning six championships. Brett Favre was one step away from earning a second ring with the Vikings.

As the world's definitive multi-talented superstar athlete, Trisha Bunrastar is taking an unexpected and shocking leap into a new career path. Assuming the identity of Freechelle Fantabulous, Trisha vows to fight crime and battle evildoers as a superheroine. Will she conquer her new mission? Find out more here! http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFLI6VK

Or take a trip into my special world of madness that includes comedy, horror, and the supernatural in this collection of short stories- http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFMYZ0U

Remember Amazon offers free Kindle App downloads for various platforms. Follow this link to find out more- http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html?ie=UTF8&docId=1000493771

And don't forget to follow me on Twitter here- https://twitter.com/LQuigleyFan1

The Condemned (2007)(Spoiler Review)

**This review contains spoilers**

Jack Conrad (Stone Cold Steve Austin) has one shot at freedom, but he’ll have to compete in a fight or die reality game show to earn his ticket. As a former US Army soldier, Jack is stuck in a corrupt and brutal prison in El Salvador, and he’s awaiting his execution, but a last minute offer from the warden changes everything.

Jack agrees to participate in Ian Breckel’s (Robert Mammone) reality show on a remote island, so Breckel writes a big check for Jack’s release. On the island, Jack is forced to compete against other death row inmates from different countries. Jack fights Ewan McStarley (Vinnie Jones), Go Saiga (Masa Yamaguchi), Yasantwa Adei (Emelia Burns), Petr Raudsep (Nathan Jones), Lamont Bruggerman (Andy McPhee), Kreston Mackie (Marcus Johnson), Paco Pacheco (Manu Bennett), and his wife, Rosa (Dasi Ruz). Another death row inamte named Teach (Rai Fazio) fights the helicopter drop into the water, and he suffers an accidental death after a hard landing.

The contestants receive food, water, and weapons during scattered supply drops, but time is running out. Each contestant is wearing the mandatory ankle bracelet bomb. In thirty hours, the bomb will explode, and if a contestant tries to tamper with the bomb, they’ll trigger an explosion. The contestants are furious, but Breckel offers two choices for salvation: Option one, said contestant can choose to pull the red card on the bomb to trigger an explosion, or you can avoid suicide with a win.

Breckel receives support from a team that includes his girlfriend, Julie (Tory Mussett), Goldy (Rick Hoffman), Bella (Sam Healy), Eddie (Christopher Baker), and Baxter (Luke Pegler). Cameras are rolling 24/7, millions from around the world pay $49.99 to watch Breckel’s game, and Breckel is trying to shatter records for page views, so he can brag about beating ratings for the most recent Super Bowl.

McStarley emerges as the early favorite to win it all, but Jack has plans to throw a monkey wrench into Breckel’s sadistic game, when he reaches out to his ex-girlfriend, Sarah Cavanaugh (Madeleine West) for help. A reporter named Donna Sereno (Angie Milliken) scolds Breckel during an interview, and the FBI tracks Breckel’s game with some helpful tips from Sarah. Does Jack have a chance as a one man wrecking crew? Or will he run out of time and allies, when the bomb explodes?

Steve Austin is a suitable fit for Jack. Jack is limited to snappy one-liners, and a barrage of fight scenes, so you don’t have to worry about any problems with Austin stepping out of his comfort zone. On top of that, Jack is a scrappy guy with a good heart, and he’s trying to do the right thing, so you want to root for him.

Vinnie Jones fills his usual role for the snarling tough guy, and Jones is a nice fit for the sleazy and despicable adversary. Robert Mammone is a believable scumbag, and Rick Hoffman provides most of the comic relief here. Can’t say too much about the other death row inmates. For the most part, they’re scoundrels and savages, who will do anything to survive, but Paco, Rosa, and Mackie emerge as likeable characters as the story progresses.

After the inevitable one on one showdown with McStarley, Conrad is presumed dead after he lost a battle with McStarley’s shotgun. McStarley is the only man standing after twenty plus hours of blood shed, so McStarley is declared the winner, and Breckel orders McStarley’s release. Here, it’s revealed Breckel and McStarley agreed to a secret deal. Breckel manipulated (i.e. the weapon and supply drops) the game so McStarley could be the clear cut favorite to win. In return, McStarley promised Breckel a grand show, because he’s the “real deal.”

Breckel grants McStarley his freedom, but there’s one catch: Breckel refuses to pay McStarley his cash prize. Breckel double crossed McStarley, so McStarley snaps. He grabs a machine gun, and McStarley murders the remaining members on Breckel’s tech team at the control center on the island. But Jack returns to save the day at the last second. McStarley is about to kill Julie, but Jack murders McStarley with a series of shots to his torso.

Breckel leaves Julie behind, and he’s trying to escape on a helicopter, because he’s trying to outrun an approaching group of Navy SEALS. A vindictive Julie uses a key to release Jack’s ankle bomb, and Jack uses the bomb to kill Breckel and the unlucky pilot in a fiery explosion. To end the movie, Jack (as a free man) reunites with Sarah and her two children. To add an extra tidbit, Jack’s real name is Jack Riley. Jack Conrad was an alias for the mission in El Salvador, but Jack was captured by Salvadorian soldiers.

McStarley and Conard as the final two in a fight to the death is predictable, because you can see the showdown coming from a mile away. Still, Breckel and McStarley receive their deserved gruesome deaths, and you get to see the feel good moment of Jack’s reunion with Sarah, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

My biggest problem with The Condemned? Mixed signals. The Condemned wants to be this mindless fun, guilty pleasure action film, but the need to deliver messages of morality muddles the tone for this one. Donna scolds Breckel for making a “snuff film” during an interview at the beginning, and towards the end, Donna proudly stands on her soap box to express her disappointment and disgust with the paying customers for Breckel’s show during a long-winded soliloquy. And I can’t forget about Julie’s teary-eyed pleas to Breckel, and Goldy’s moral dilemma.

Think about it like this. You’re sitting down at a fast food restaurant, and you’re about to devour a double cheeseburger with a large fry, a large soda, and a large chocolate milkshake. Out of nowhere, an employee walks up to you before you take your first bite. He or she puts a list on the table. This list contains the nutrition facts for everything in front of you.

After you look at the list, are you thinking about enjoying your food, or pigging out with no shame? No. Now you’re thinking about extra calories and pounds you don’t need, high blood pressure, and clogged arteries. That’s the biggest problem here: Occasionally, The Condemned ruins the fun with preachy morality gibberish. Also, the teased rape scene at the beginning, and the implied rape scene with Rosa and McStarley don’t help the problem. They don’t show everything in the Rosa scene, but you know what’s going on.

The Condemned had a shot at cult classic gold, but I’m going with a bare minimum passing score for this one. Yeah, the preachy stuff is annoying at times, and certain scenes of depravity feel random and unnecessary. But The Condemned delivers enough hard hitting fight scenes and sporadic bursts of adrenaline filled action sequences to hold your attention for one hour and fifty-three minutes. Plus, the cheesy one-liners are good for a few cheap laughs. In the end, I’m just glad we don’t have to worry about The Condemned 2 or 3 for more useless and forgettable straight-to-video releases.

Rating: 5/10

Michael Jordan had another run with the Wizards after winning six championships. Brett Favre was one step away from earning a second ring with the Vikings.

As the world's definitive multi-talented superstar athlete, Trisha Bunrastar is taking an unexpected and shocking leap into a new career path. Assuming the identity of Freechelle Fantabulous, Trisha vows to fight crime and battle evildoers as a superheroine. Will she conquer her new mission? Find out more here! http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFLI6VK

Or take a trip into my special world of madness that includes comedy, horror, and the supernatural in this collection of short stories- http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFMYZ0U

Remember Amazon offers free Kindle App downloads for various platforms. Follow this link to find out more- http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html?ie=UTF8&docId=1000493771

And don't forget to follow me on Twitter here- https://twitter.com/LQuigleyFan1

Character Spotlight- Mahogany- The Midnight Meat Train (2008)

**This post contains spoilers**

So you see this creepy guy dressed in a sharp business suit, quietly sitting on the subway train during the midnight hours, and you're first reaction is to stay as far away as possible, while avoiding eye contact. But there's one big problem: evading Mahogany won't save your life. You can run, you can hide, but there's no escaping Mahogany's wrath.

In The Midnight Meat Train, Mahogany is a merciless murderer, who possesses superhuman strength. During the day, Mahogany works as a butcher. At night? He stalks unsuspecting victims, who board the late subway train. Here, Mahogany hacks and carves his victims, and each corpse is stored inside the messy subway car, with splatters of blood and flesh covering every section. The conductor plays the crucial role of a watchdog, while Mahogany neatly organizes and hangs each mutilated corpse like cattle in a meat locker.

Vinnie Jones is genuinely menacing and creepy as Mahogany, and Bradley Cooper is a nice fit for the pesky adversary, who won't quit. Leon (Cooper) is a struggling photographer, who relentlessly pursues Mahogany, and a sense of morality eventually overcomes Leon, so he decides to fight Mahogany one on one. Yeah, big mistake. Leon eventually gains the upper hand, and he's able to kill Mahogany, but Maya (portrayed by Leslie Bibb), the love of his life, is murdered by the mysterious conductor, who also possesses Mahogany's supernatural powers.

Watching Mahogany's death is a bummer for me. With more time, you have to believe in Mahogany having a realistic shot at becoming a memorable villain in the horror genre. Who knows? In the next five or ten years, The Midnight Meat Train could become the next horror cult classic.

Although, it's hard to ignore the potential flip-side of Mahogany's status as the next memorable baddie. In horror, more film sequels don't equal success. Hell, Michael Myers and Jason Voorhees are legendary horror icons, but we all remember Halloween: Resurrection and Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday, unfortunately. To make matters worse, Resurrection and  Jason Goes To Hell are just a few examples of one too many sequels!
 
Follow this link to read my spoiler review of  The Midnight Meat Train- http://mitchmacready.blogspot.com/2013/11/the-midnight-meat-train-2008spoiler.html

Or you can read the minor spoilers review, free of any character deaths, major twists, or reveals, by following this link- http://mitchmacready.blogspot.com/2013/11/the-midnight-meat-train-2008minor.html

Escape Plan (2013)(Minor Spoilers Review)

**This review contains MINOR spoilers, no character deaths, big twists, or major reveals**

As a modern day Houdini, Ray Breslin (Sylvester Stallone) is a former prosecutor, who studies and escapes from maximum security prisons to exploit any weaknesses in the system (the guard’s routine, security cameras, keypad locks, etc.). Abigail (Amy Ryan) and Hush (Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson) work together as Ray’s support team, and Lester Clark (Vincent D’Onofrio) is Ray’s manager.

Ray is widely regarded as a precise expert with a flawless track record, but things change, when Ray ponders a lucrative proposal for a new mission. CIA agent Jessica Miller (Caitriona Balfe) promises Ray and his team a five million dollar pay day, if Ray agrees to infiltrate The Tomb, an impenetrable and hi-tech top secret prison used to contain the most vile criminals on Earth. Abigail and Hush are uneasy about the sketchy and vague details, but Clark is more concerned about missing the once in a lifetime opportunity to collect a five million dollar paycheck, so after some prodding from Clark, Ray accepts the mission.

At The Tomb, Ray is confused, when he meets Warden Willard Hobbes (Jim Caviezel), because Ray was expecting Warden Roger Marsh, but Warden Hobbes reassures Ray Warden Marsh doesn’t exist. And the situation becomes more complex, when Hobbes dismisses Ray’s fake evacuation code.

With no one else to turn to, Ray teams up with Emil Rottmayer (Arnold Schwarzenegger), a fellow inmate, who promises to help Ray escape The Tomb. Emil uses his influence as the head honcho within the prison to provide Ray with the necessary resources, and using morality as the basis for his arguments, Ray reaches out to a reluctant and fearful Dr. Kyrie (Sam Neill) for help.

Ray must endure taunting and savage beatings from Drake (Vinnie Jones), Hobbes’ Chief Of Security, and time is running out, as a suspicious Hobbes vows to derail Breslin’s plans for an escape, with the promise of imprisoning Breslin in The Tomb until his final breath.

Schwarzenegger and Stallone share easy chemistry, as a duo of grizzled tough guys, who are looking for a good fight. The approach of using Schwarzenegger as the muscle and Stallone as the brains of the operation really works, because having both men portray lethal ass-kicking machines would’ve been a counterproductive move. Constantly watching a barrage of scenes featuring Arine and Sly breaking necks and firing large guns every five minutes? Yeah, the onslaught of thuggery would reach a “too tiresome” point after a while, but with Arnie doing most of the dirty work (Sly isn’t afraid to roll up his sleeves and fight every now and then), and Stallone pulling the strings, you get a chance to see more variety, when comparing and contrast the personalities between Breslin and Rottmayer. Plus, Arnie and Sly provide some good laughs during their sporadic back and forth arguments, and Arnie is hilarious in a handful of scenes without Sly (i.e. the waterboarding scene, and the scene in the box with Hobbes, where Rottmayer spouts random nonsense to give Ray more time with his plan).

Jim Caviezel is a nice fit for the primary antagonist. Warden Hobbes is a cocky and ruthless dictator with no mercy, and Caviezel brings the essential commanding presence to this character. Vinnie Jones is solid, as the grimacing hard-ass, Amy Ryan isn’t bad as Abigail, but her screen time is limited to sporadic appearances, and 50 Cent is harmless as Hush. And Vincent D’Onofrio is believably pompous as Clark.


In a lot of ways, Escape Plan caught me off guard. I was expecting a loud and over the top action flick with a bunch of explosions and cheesy one-liners from Arnie and Sly (well, you’ll hear some one-liners, but they never reach the point of overkill). Instead, Escape Plan is a crafty prison-break thriller with a few satisfying twists, and the action sequences are enjoyable. The duo of Stallone and Schwarzenegger should provide the necessary nostalgia kick for action fans, because I had a good time watching the old warhorses team up for a risky fight. It’s hard to ignore the eye rolling preposterous moments here, but if you’re looking for some good fun with two action legends, Escape Plan won‘t disappoint you.

Rating: 7/10

Michael Jordan had another run with the Wizards after winning six championships. Brett Favre was one step away from earning a second ring with the Vikings.

As the world's definitive multi-talented superstar athlete, Trisha Bunrastar is taking an unexpected and shocking leap into a new career path. Assuming the identity of Freechelle Fantabulous, Trisha vows to fight crime and battle evildoers as a superheroine. Will she conquer her new mission? Find out more here! http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFLI6VK

Or take a trip into my special world of madness that includes comedy, horror, and the supernatural in this collection of short stories- http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFMYZ0U

Remember Amazon offers free Kindle App downloads for various platforms. Follow this link to find out more- http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html?ie=UTF8&docId=1000493771

And don't forget to follow me on Twitter here- https://twitter.com/LQuigleyFan1

Escape Plan (2013)(Spoiler Review)

**This review contains spoilers**

As a modern day Houdini, Ray Breslin (Sylvester Stallone) is a former prosecutor, who studies and escapes from maximum security prisons to exploit any weaknesses in the system (the guard’s routine, security cameras, keypad locks, etc.). Abigail (Amy Ryan) and Hush (Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson) work together as Ray’s support team, and Lester Clark (Vincent D’Onofrio) is Ray’s manager.

Ray is widely regarded as a precise expert with a flawless track record, but things change, when Ray ponders a lucrative proposal for a new mission. CIA agent Jessica Miller (Caitriona Balfe) promises Ray and his team a five million dollar pay day, if Ray agrees to infiltrate The Tomb, an impenetrable and hi-tech top secret prison used to contain the most vile criminals on Earth. Abigail and Hush are uneasy about the sketchy and vague details, but Clark is more concerned about missing the once in a lifetime opportunity to collect a five million dollar paycheck, so after some prodding from Clark, Ray accepts the mission.

At The Tomb, Ray is confused, when he meets Warden Willard Hobbes (Jim Caviezel), because Ray was expecting Warden Roger Marsh, but Warden Hobbes reassures Ray Warden Marsh doesn’t exist. And the situation becomes more complex, when Hobbes dismisses Ray’s fake evacuation code.

With no one else to turn to, Ray teams up with Emil Rottmayer (Arnold Schwarzenegger), a fellow inmate, who promises to help Ray escape The Tomb. Emil uses his influence as the head honcho within the prison to provide Ray with the necessary resources, and using morality as the basis for his arguments, Ray reaches out to a reluctant and fearful Dr. Kyrie (Sam Neill) for help.

Ray must endure taunting and savage beatings from Drake (Vinnie Jones), Hobbes’ Chief Of Security, and time is running out, as a suspicious Hobbes vows to derail Breslin’s plans for an escape, with the promise of imprisoning Breslin in The Tomb until his final breath.

Schwarzenegger and Stallone share easy chemistry, as a duo of grizzled tough guys, who are looking for a good fight. The approach of using Schwarzenegger as the muscle and Stallone as the brains of the operation really works, because having both men portray lethal ass-kicking machines would’ve been a counterproductive move. Constantly watching a barrage of scenes featuring Arine and Sly breaking necks and firing large guns every five minutes? Yeah, the onslaught of thuggery would reach a “too tiresome” point after a while, but with Arnie doing most of the dirty work (Sly isn’t afraid to roll up his sleeves and fight every now and then), and Stallone pulling the strings, you get a chance to see more variety, when comparing and contrast the personalities between Breslin and Rottmayer. Plus, Arnie and Sly provide some good laughs during their sporadic back and forth arguments, and Arnie is hilarious in a handful of scenes without Sly (i.e. the waterboarding scene, and the scene in the box with Hobbes, where Rottmayer spouts random nonsense to give Ray more time with his plan).

Jim Caviezel is a nice fit for the primary antagonist. Warden Hobbes is a cocky and ruthless dictator with no mercy, and Caviezel brings the essential commanding presence to this character. Vinnie Jones is solid, as the grimacing hard-ass, Amy Ryan isn’t bad as Abigail, but her screen time is limited to sporadic appearances, and 50 Cent is harmless as Hush. Vincent D’Onofrio is believably pompous as Clark, and D'Onofrio's character takes a slimy turn (more on that later) as the story progresses.

Where is The Tomb? Ray’s an expert and Rottmayer has connections, but if they’re going to plan an escape, they NEED to know where they are. Rottmayer is able to cause a distraction after a calamity in the solitary confinement cells. Meanwhile, Ray is able to climb a ladder that leads to the outside. And what does Ray see outside? Water. Lots of water. Why? Well, The Tomb is a prison on a freighter ship, and the freighter ship is currently located in the Atlantic Ocean.

A nice shock. It’s almost impossible to pinpoint the location of The Tomb. A few times, I thought I was near “Getting warmer” territory, but The Tomb being on ship? Yeah, I didn’t see that one coming. And to add the icing on the cake, there’s a zooming out shot of Stallone standing on the deck by himself with this hopeless and devastated look on his face. Good stuff.

With some help from Rottmayer’s connections, a volunteering inmate (Javed, portrayed by Faran Tahir), and Dr. Kyrie, Ray and Emil finally escape The Tomb in a helicopter. Ray manages to fire series of shots into a group of oil barrels to kill Hobbes, while clinging to the broken ladder on the helicopter. Hobbes burns to death in the oil fire, and together, Ray and Emil safely land on a beach in Morocco. Here, Ray learns the truth about Emil: Agent Miller is Emil’s daughter, and she used the cover of a CIA agent to fool Ray and his team. Emil’s real name is Victor Mannheim. Long story short, Mannheim was supposed to be Emil’s boss/primary connection for help on the outside, so Emil as Rottmayer was just a cover. And Miller gave Ray the codename “Portos” to alert Mannheim of Ray’s presence as an ally.

Rottamyer as Mannheim is a surprising twist, but I wouldn’t call it shocking. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to sit here and pretend I saw this coming, because I didn’t. BUT after all the trickery and clever deception, I was expecting a bigger bang for Escape Plan’s final set of twists. I was hoping for a lobster dinner with steak on the side, but instead, I got fresh pepperoni pizza.

Remember Clark? Clark was offered an annual five million dollar salary to keep Ray stuck in The Tomb for the rest of his life. Of course, Clark hid this information from everyone else. Towards the end, Clark tries to escape with all the money, but Hush catches him in a parking garage. Hush is able to capture Clark, and he locks Clark in his car………and the car is stuck in a container on a departing cargo ship. The last moments of the movie feature a desperate and frantic attempt at an escape from Clark, while Clark is cursing Ray’s name. This scene put a smile on my face. Why? Because Clark was a snaky, backstabbing little weasel, and he finally got what he deserved in the end.

In a lot of ways, Escape Plan caught me off guard. I was expecting a loud and over the top action flick with a bunch of explosions and cheesy one-liners from Arnie and Sly (well, you’ll hear some one-liners, but they never reach the point of overkill). Instead, Escape Plan is a crafty prison-break thriller with a few satisfying twists, and the action sequences are enjoyable. The duo of Stallone and Schwarzenegger should provide the necessary nostalgia kick for action fans, because I had a good time watching the old warhorses team up for a risky fight. It’s hard to ignore the eye rolling preposterous moments here, but if you’re looking for some good fun with two action legends, Escape Plan won‘t disappoint you.

Rating: 7/10

Michael Jordan had another run with the Wizards after winning six championships. Brett Favre was one step away from earning a second ring with the Vikings.

As the world's definitive multi-talented superstar athlete, Trisha Bunrastar is taking an unexpected and shocking leap into a new career path. Assuming the identity of Freechelle Fantabulous, Trisha vows to fight crime and battle evildoers as a superheroine. Will she conquer her new mission? Find out more here! http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFLI6VK

Or take a trip into my special world of madness that includes comedy, horror, and the supernatural in this collection of short stories- http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFMYZ0U

Remember Amazon offers free Kindle App downloads for various platforms. Follow this link to find out more- http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html?ie=UTF8&docId=1000493771

And don't forget to follow me on Twitter here- https://twitter.com/LQuigleyFan1

The Midnight Meat Train (2008)(Minor Spoilers Review)

**This review contains MINOR spoilers, no big reveals, plot twists, or character deaths**

Leon (Bradley Cooper ) is an aspiring and struggling photographer, who’s looking for his long awaited big break. Leon lives with his girlfriend, Maya (Leslie Bibb) in a big city, and with some help from Maya’s best friend, Jurgis (Roger Bart) Leon is introduced to Susan Hoff (Brooke Shields), a stern media proprietor, who’s known for her taste in pictures. Susan pushes Leon to be more bold and take a chance to capture a real captivating moment. Leon takes Susan’s advice, and he’s able to kill two birds with one stone. Leon captures a group of muggers during an attack, and in the process, Leon saves the victim, a young model.

The next morning, Leon pays a visit to Maya’s diner (Maya works as a waitress at the diner) for his routine morning chat with Maya, and her boss, but Leon notices the model in a missing person’s article in the newspaper. Leon’s investigation for the prime suspect leads him to Mahogany (Vinnie Jones), a silent and well-dressed man, who works as a butcher during the day. During the night, Mahogany lurks inside the subway station, waiting for the late train. Here, Mahogany brutally murders unsuspecting victims, using the subway train to store and carve the victim’s carcasses like mutilated cattle in a meat locker........

Bradely Cooper is a solid leading man. The Leon character is kind of dull at first. He’s the typical struggling artist, who’s trying to make it and find his way in the big city, while his girlfriend works a dead end job, and they’re staying in an apartment together. But Cooper shows off his talents during Leon’s descent into madness, as his obsession with Mahogany causes a distressed breakdown. Vinnie Jones is spot on as the primary antagonist. Mahogany is a silent and deadly killing machine, and Jones brings the necessary menacing and creepy presence to this character. Plus, Jones’ scrunched scowls really pull everything together.

Leslie Bibb is reliable as usual, providing a believable performance as the supportive girlfriend, who’s willing to do anything to help Leon and fight Mahogany. And it’s a shame Brooke Shields screen time is limited to sporadic appearances. Shields is fun to watch as this powerful and demanding businesswoman with a superior ego.

The Midnight Meat Train is an electric and tense horror film. Director Ryuhei Kitamura delivers a plethora of brutal and sickening violence, bloody and stylish gore, gross out scenes that are guaranteed to pull a reaction out of you, and Kitamura provides the perfect eerie atmosphere for The Midnight Meat Train. Leon’s investigation to uncover the truth behind the massacre concludes with a shocking and diabolical finale, as a gruesome tale of blood and guts ends with a sinister new beginning. Bottom line, if you’re looking for splattery blood-soaked mayhem and jaw-dropping kills, The Midnight Meat Train is a must-see.


Rating: 8/10

Michael Jordan had another run with the Wizards after winning six championships. Brett Favre was one step away from earning a second ring with the Vikings.

As the world's definitive multi-talented superstar athlete, Trisha Bunrastar is taking an unexpected and shocking leap into a new career path. Assuming the identity of Freechelle Fantabulous, Trisha vows to fight crime and battle evildoers as a superheroine. Will she conquer her new mission? Find out more here! http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFLI6VK

Or take a trip into my special world of madness that includes comedy, horror, and the supernatural in this collection of short stories- http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFMYZ0U

Remember Amazon offers free Kindle App downloads for various platforms. Follow this link to find out more- http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html?ie=UTF8&docId=1000493771

And don't forget to follow me on Twitter here- https://twitter.com/LQuigleyFan1

The Midnight Meat Train (2008)(Spoiler Review)

**This review contains spoilers**

Leon (Bradley Cooper ) is an aspiring and struggling photographer, who’s looking for his long awaited big break. Leon lives with his girlfriend, Maya (Leslie Bibb) in a big city, and with some help from Maya’s best friend, Jurgis (Roger Bart) Leon is introduced to Susan Hoff (Brooke Shields), a stern media proprietor, who’s known for her taste in pictures. Susan pushes Leon to be more bold and take a chance to capture a real captivating moment. Leon takes Susan’s advice, and he’s able to kill two birds with one stone. Leon captures a group of muggers during an attack, and in the process, Leon saves the victim, a young model.

The next morning, Leon pays a visit to Maya’s diner (Maya works as a waitress at the diner) for his routine morning chat with Maya, and her boss, but Leon notices the model in a missing person’s article in the newspaper. Leon’s investigation for the prime suspect leads him to Mahogany (Vinnie Jones), a silent and well-dressed man, who works as a butcher during the day. During the night, Mahogany lurks inside the subway station, waiting for the late train. Here, Mahogany brutally murders unsuspecting victims, using the subway train to store and carve the victim’s carcasses like mutilated cattle in a meat locker.

Leon’s cries for help are ignored by a local detective named Lynn Hadley (Barbara Eve Harris). Meanwhile, Leon unravels a history of brutal murders orchestrated by Mahogany during a killing spree dating back to the early 1900‘s. Fueled by frustration and paranoia, Leon vows to take matters into his own hands to put a stop to Mahogany’s crimes, but Leon discovers a darker secret beneath the subway station during a one on one final battle with Mahogany……..

Bradely Cooper is a solid leading man. The Leon character is kind of dull at first. He’s the typical struggling artist, who’s trying to make it and find his way in the big city, while his girlfriend works a dead end job, and they’re staying in an apartment together. But Cooper shows off his talents during Leon’s descent into madness, as his obsession with Mahogany causes a distressed breakdown. Vinnie Jones is spot on as the primary antagonist. Mahogany is a silent and deadly killing machine, and Jones brings the necessary menacing and creepy presence to this character. Plus, Jones’ scrunched scowls really pull everything together.

Leslie Bibb is reliable as usual, providing a believable performance as the supportive girlfriend, who’s willing to do anything to help Leon and fight Mahogany. And it’s a shame Brooke Shields screen time is limited to sporadic appearances. Shields is fun to watch as this powerful and demanding businesswoman with a superior ego. Oh, and a little message for MMA fans. Quinton “Rampage” Jackson has a little cameo here. He plays some random thug, who insults Mahogany on the train with a Forrest Gump wisecrack. Guardian Angel (Jackson) taunts Mahogany with “Life is like a box of chocolates” (Mahogany has a striking resemblance to Gump, including his posture), and of course, Mahogany attacks him. Yeah, Rampage’s screen time might last three minutes before the conductor (more on that later) pops out of nowhere to kill Angel with a shot to the head.

So Mahogany is a cold blooded killer. It’s painfully clear after you witness the intro, but why is Mahogany hacking innocent people on a subway train to bits every night? During the final showdown between Leon and Mahogany, it’s revealed Mahogany possesses superhuman strength as a supernatural being…and there’s more. The conductor is helping Mahogany in his mission to murder every night. Why? Because as The Butcher, Mahogany must kill and feed his victims to cannibalistic creatures, who live beneath the subway station. Mahogany continues to feed the creatures, because without “meat,” the creatures will invade the real world to hunt and attack humans, so Mahogany is trusted to control the separation between both worlds in a never ending mission. And Detective Lynn Hadley is apart of the conspiracy, as a crucial key player, who conceals a lot of evidence.

As a helper, The conductor also possesses superhuman strength, and after the battle with Mahogany, the conductor forces Leon into an inescapable decision: Leon must take Mahogany’s place as the next butcher. After a hundred years of service, Mahogany can’t carry the burden with weakened powers, and after murdering Mahogany in the fight, Leon becomes “The Chosen One.” The conductor rips out Leon’s tongue, he bites and eats the severed tongue (groooossssss!), and the conductor rips out Maya’s (Maya joined Leon on the train to find Jurgis) heart in front of Leon. The conductor offers Maya’s beating heart to Leon, and during the final moments of the movie, we see Leon dressed in a suit. Leon resides in Mahogany’s old apartment, taking control of Mahogany’s signature ring, and Leon quietly boards the late subway train at night to start his new life, as the next butcher.

Great shocker. At first, you’re lead to believe Mahogany is this lone nut, who’s killing for fun, or a need to feed his sadistic desires. But as the film progresses, you can see Mahogany isn’t normal. He uncharacteristically runs out of gas (i.e. coughing up blood) during his fight with Angel on the train, and The Midnight Meat Train drops another suspicious hint, when the conductor pops out of nowhere as a helper to murder Angel. And the reveal of Hadley helping Mahogany and the conductor completely caught me off guard. After a while, you know there’s some big secret surrounding  Mahogany’s slaughterhouse, but it’s hard to guess or pinpoint the details behind the truth. Amazing swerve, because unless you’re a psychic (either that, or before watching the movie, you read the short story this film is based on, written by Clive Barker), it’s IMPOSSIBLE to guess the big surprise at the end.

The Midnight Meat Train is an electric and tense horror film. Director Ryuhei Kitamura delivers a plethora of brutal and sickening violence, bloody and stylish gore, gross out scenes that are guaranteed to pull a reaction out of you, and Kitamura provides the perfect eerie atmosphere for The Midnight Meat Train. Leon’s investigation to uncover the truth behind the massacre concludes with a shocking and diabolical finale, as a gruesome tale of blood and guts ends with a sinister new beginning. Bottom line, if you’re looking for splattery blood-soaked mayhem and jaw-dropping kills, The Midnight Meat Train is a must-see.


Rating: 8/10

Michael Jordan had another run with the Wizards after winning six championships. Brett Favre was one step away from earning a second ring with the Vikings.

As the world's definitive multi-talented superstar athlete, Trisha Bunrastar is taking an unexpected and shocking leap into a new career path. Assuming the identity of Freechelle Fantabulous, Trisha vows to fight crime and battle evildoers as a superheroine. Will she conquer her new mission? Find out more here! http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFLI6VK

Or take a trip into my special world of madness that includes comedy, horror, and the supernatural in this collection of short stories- http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFMYZ0U

Remember Amazon offers free Kindle App downloads for various platforms. Follow this link to find out more- http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html?ie=UTF8&docId=1000493771

And don't forget to follow me on Twitter here- https://twitter.com/LQuigleyFan1