3 Days To Kill (2014)(Minor Spoilers Review)

**This review contains MINOR spoilers. No major reveals or character deaths**

Veteran CIA agent Ethan Renner (Kevin Costner) embarks on a mission to capture and eliminate a merciless arms dealer. The Wolf (Richard Sammel) is trying to sell a dirty bomb at a hotel, but he needs to conceal his identity, so The Wolf uses The Albino (Tomas Lemarquis), the top associate in The Wolf’s organization, as a representative to close the deal. Vivi Delay (Amber Heard), a lethal and trusted assassin in the CIA, leads the mission, and Vivi assumes the position of a lookout.

At the hotel, the mission goes awry, when The Albino recognizes one of the CIA agents. After a shootout, Ethan chases The Albino, but dizziness, a bloody nose, and a bad cough overwhelm Ethan. Ethan loses consciousness, but Ethan maims The Albino with one shoot to the leg. At the hospital, Ethan learns the truth about his bad cough: Terminal brain cancer spread into Ethan’s lungs, and Ethan will die in the coming months.

Clinging to one last chance for redemption with his family, Ethan unceremoniously retires, and Ethan returns to his home in Paris. Ethan works out a deal for boundaries and living arraignments with a squatting African family and the leader, Jules (Eriq Ebouaney), but time is running out. Ethan explains the situation to his estranged wife, Christine (Connie Nielsen), but Ethan makes a willing choice to hide the truth from his resentful teenage daughter, Zoey (Hailee Steinfeld), because Ethan is desperate to repair his broken relationship with Zoey.

Meanwhile, Vivi presents an irresistible offer to Ethan: Vivi will inject Ethan with an experimental drug to cure the cancer, and the drug will prolong Ethan’s life, giving Ethan the chance to enjoy more time with his family without any worries. The catch? In return, Vivi wants Ethan to hunt and kill The Wolf.

A begrudging Ethan accepts Vivi’s offer, but Ethan runs into a series of problems, when Christine suddenly departs for a business trip. Ethan tries to balance an awkward bonding experience with Zoey, troubles with Zoey’s boyfriend, Hugh (Jonas Bloquet), and his mission to kill The Wolf, with a pushy and persistent Vivi watching his every move. Can Ethan complete his mission, and regain Zoey’s trust before it’s too late?

Call me crazy, but am I the only one, who noticed a lack of enthusiasm from Kevin Costner? I get the whole point of Ethan being this worn out veteran, who’s staggering around on his last legs, but Costner is kind of dull in the leading role. Costner has a few moments of hilarity during the bonding experience with Zoey, but overall, I couldn’t shake the feeling of a seemingly bored Kevin Costner in the leading role.

Amber Heard’s Vivi had some potential as a femme fatale, but Heard’s character is restricted to here and there appearances. On top of that, Vivi is supposed to be a walking lethal weapon, but where’s the visual evidence to back up Vivi’s credentials (and no, the one lame kill at the end doesn‘t count)? More often than not, Vivi shows off her driving skills, she’s throwing her weight around as the boss (i.e. Vivi’s demands for that poor guy to give up his suit for Ethan), or Vivi’s just sitting around in a strip club watching a show, and that’s it. 

Hailee Steinfeld delivers a solid performance as Zoey, but her character is a clichéd “You can’t tell me what to do!” teenage brat. And Connie Nielsen is believable as, the conflicted wife, who’s trying to give Ethan a second chance, but she’s reluctant to trust Ethan again.

The bad guys? Eh, I can’t say too much about them. Richard Sammel’s The Wolf is a generic villain, who sells and trades weapons of mass destruction, as the most “dangerous threat in the world.” And Lemarquis’s The Albino is limited to cold stares, and sporadic lines of dialogue.

Redundancy. It’s a big problem in 3 Days To Kill, because they stick to a formula for three running gags. First, you have Ethan’s “Hey! I’m trying to bond with my daughter!” interruptions during Ethan’s interrogation/torture scenes with kidnapped victims. Ethan’s on the phone with Zoey, or Ethan’s in the car with Zoey, and he takes a break to silence his victim, because you know, bonding with Zoey is important.

The purple bike? Oy vey. Ethan buys a purple (Zoey’s favorite color as a child) bicycle for Zoey as a present, but Zoey refuses to ride the bike throughout the movie, because she’s too embarrassed. Although, to be fair, Zoey eventually gives in to Ethan’s requests towards the end. 

Also, you have the ring tone gag. Zoey downloads a poppish ring tone on Ethan’s phone in an attempt to modernize Ethan. Yeah, I get the irony of a fuddy-duddy adjusting to the modern world with a pop song ring tone, but the reoccurring ring tone gag hits an annoying point after the first time. That’s the big problem with all the running gags here: They’re funny, when you see them for the first time. After that? They’re stale, because you’re seeing the same pattern/routine over and over again.

And it’s not a gag, but Ethan’s blackout/nose bleed sequences during a confrontation with the bad guys (The Albino and The Wolf) is another bad case of overkill here. Before the big kill(s), Ethan stumbles around, he falls to the ground, and he can’t pull the trigger, because he’s too weak. The problem? It’s hard to jump to the edge of your seat, when Ethan falls to the ground, because you know there’s a 99.9% chance he’ll survive to continue the fight.

In the end, I won’t sit here and lie to you, because 3 Days To Kill pulled a few laughs out of me, but the final product is one big mess. The finale is loaded with head-shaking inconsistencies, and to add to a laundry list of problems, 3 Days To Kill features one too many sub-plots. A prime example is the sub-plot with Jules’ family.

The sub-plot with Jules’ family feels useless in the grand scheme of things, because Jules and his family don’t add anything significant to the story, and truth be told, I COMPLETELY forgot about Jules and his family at one point. Why? Because the story is too convoluted. We’re dealing with a man, who’s dying of cancer, Ethan is trying to make up for lost time with Zoey and Christine before his death, Ethan is hunting two villains, and 3 Days To Kill adds another pancake to the stack with another sub-plot for Ethan and Vivi’s storyline together. To make matters worse, 3 Days To Kill’s overstuffed problem hinders the development for other storylines.

3 Days To Kill wants to be a comedy, an action film, and they squeeze in a storyline about a dying man fighting for one last chance to bond with his family. It’s too much, and unfortunately, I’ll remember 3 Days To Kill as a film with a ton of potential, but a bad case of overkill and redundancy ruined everything.

Rating: 3/10

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3 Days To Kill (2014)(Spoiler Review)

**This review contains spoilers**

Veteran CIA agent Ethan Renner (Kevin Costner) embarks on a mission to capture and eliminate a merciless arms dealer. The Wolf (Richard Sammel) is trying to sell a dirty bomb at a hotel, but he needs to conceal his identity, so The Wolf uses The Albino (Tomas Lemarquis), the top associate in The Wolf’s organization, as a representative to close the deal. Vivi Delay (Amber Heard), a lethal and trusted assassin in the CIA, leads the mission, and Vivi assumes the position of a lookout.

At the hotel, the mission goes awry, when The Albino recognizes one of the CIA agents. After a shootout, Ethan chases The Albino, but dizziness, a bloody nose, and a bad cough overwhelm Ethan. Ethan loses consciousness, but Ethan maims The Albino with one shoot to the leg. At the hospital, Ethan learns the truth about his bad cough: Terminal brain cancer spread into Ethan’s lungs, and Ethan will die in the coming months.

Clinging to one last chance for redemption with his family, Ethan unceremoniously retires, and Ethan returns to his home in Paris. Ethan works out a deal for boundaries and living arraignments with a squatting African family and the leader, Jules (Eriq Ebouaney), but time is running out. Ethan explains the situation to his estranged wife, Christine (Connie Nielsen), but Ethan makes a willing choice to hide the truth from his resentful teenage daughter, Zoey (Hailee Steinfeld), because Ethan is desperate to repair his broken relationship with Zoey.

Meanwhile, Vivi presents an irresistible offer to Ethan: Vivi will inject Ethan with an experimental drug to cure the cancer, and the drug will prolong Ethan’s life, giving Ethan the chance to enjoy more time with his family without any worries. The catch? In return, Vivi wants Ethan to hunt and kill The Wolf.

A begrudging Ethan accepts Vivi’s offer, but Ethan runs into a series of problems, when Christine suddenly departs for a business trip. Ethan tries to balance an awkward bonding experience with Zoey, troubles with Zoey’s boyfriend, Hugh (Jonas Bloquet), and his mission to kill The Wolf, with a pushy and persistent Vivi watching his every move. Can Ethan complete his mission, and regain Zoey’s trust before it’s too late?

Call me crazy, but am I the only one, who noticed a lack of enthusiasm from Kevin Costner? I get the whole point of Ethan being this worn out veteran, who’s staggering around on his last legs, but Costner is kind of dull in the leading role. Costner has a few moments of hilarity during the bonding experience with Zoey, but overall, I couldn’t shake the feeling of a seemingly bored Kevin Costner in the leading role.

Amber Heard’s Vivi had some potential as a femme fatale, but Heard’s character is restricted to here and there appearances. On top of that, Vivi is supposed to be a walking lethal weapon, but where’s the visual evidence to back up Vivi’s credentials (and no, the one lame kill at the end doesn‘t count)? More often than not, Vivi shows off her driving skills, she’s throwing her weight around as the boss (i.e. Vivi’s demands for that poor guy to give up his suit for Ethan), or Vivi’s just sitting around in a strip club watching a show, and that’s it. 

Hailee Steinfeld delivers a solid performance as Zoey, but her character is a clichéd “You can’t tell me what to do!” teenage brat. And Connie Nielsen is believable as, the conflicted wife, who’s trying to give Ethan a second chance, but she’s reluctant to trust Ethan again.

The bad guys? Eh, I can’t say too much about them. Richard Sammel’s The Wolf is a generic villain, who sells and trades weapons of mass destruction, as the most “dangerous threat in the world.” And Lemarquis’s The Albino is limited to cold stares, and sporadic lines of dialogue.

Redundancy. It’s a big problem in 3 Days To Kill, because they stick to a formula for three running gags. First, you have Ethan’s “Hey! I’m trying to bond with my daughter!” interruptions during Ethan’s interrogation/torture scenes with kidnapped victims. Ethan’s on the phone with Zoey, or Ethan’s in the car with Zoey, and he takes a break to silence his victim, because you know, bonding with Zoey is important.

The purple bike? Oy vey. Ethan buys a purple (Zoey’s favorite color as a child) bicycle for Zoey as a present, but Zoey refuses to ride the bike throughout the movie, because she’s too embarrassed. Although, to be fair, Zoey eventually gives in to Ethan’s requests towards the end. 

Also, you have the ring tone gag. Zoey downloads a poppish ring tone on Ethan’s phone in an attempt to modernize Ethan. Yeah, I get the irony of a fuddy-duddy adjusting to the modern world with a pop song ring tone, but the reoccurring ring tone gag hits an annoying point after the first time. That’s the big problem with all the running gags here: They’re funny, when you see them for the first time. After that? They’re stale, because you’re seeing the same pattern/routine over and over again.

And it’s not a gag, but Ethan’s blackout/nose bleed sequences during a confrontation with the bad guys (The Albino and The Wolf) is another bad case of overkill here. Before the big kill(s), Ethan stumbles around, he falls to the ground, and he can’t pull the trigger, because he’s too weak. The problem? It’s hard to jump to the edge of your seat, when Ethan falls to the ground, because you know there’s a 99.9% chance he’ll survive to continue the fight.

So we’re in the final moments of the movie, and Ethan murdered The Albino at a subway station. Eventually, Ethan and Christine accompany Zoey to a party  Hugh’s father is hosting the party…and The Wolf is a guest at the party, because he’s a business partner with Hugh’s father.

The Wolf orders his men to hunt and kill Ethan at the party, but Ethan survives the assault. Vivi shows up to ensure the deal for Ethan killing The Wolf, but Ethan’s cancer overwhelms him at the last second. Ethan’s on the ground, and Vivi orders him to pull the trigger. But Ethan ignores Vivi’s demands, because he promised Christine he would retire with no questions asked. Ethan drops his gun, and Vivi uses her gun to murder The Wolf

After the massacre, Ethan is still alive, and he’s enjoying Christmas with Zoey and Christine. Ethan opens a mysterious present, and it’s another syringe full of the cancer medicine. To end the movie, it’s revealed Vivi delivered the syringe, and they show a shot of Vivi standing on a nearby cliff, with a clear view of Ethan and his family.

I don’t get it. Ethan bludgeons, tortures, and kills people throughout the movie, BUT at the end, he makes an out of the blue decision to spare a dangerous arms dealer, because he promised (keep in mind, Ethan promised retirement in the early stages of the movie) Christine retirement? 

And what about Vivi? She’s supposed to be this cold-hearted and uncompromising vixen. One minute, she murders The Wolf in cold blood, because Ethan disobeyed a direct order. But she shows compassion out of nowhere with another syringe to extend Ethan’s life? Again, I don’t get it, because the finale for 3 Days To Kill is loaded with one too many inconsistencies.

In the end, I won’t sit here and lie to you, because 3 Days To Kill pulled a few laughs out of me, but the final product is one big mess. The finale is loaded with head-shaking inconsistencies, and to add to a laundry list of problems, 3 Days To Kill features one too many sub-plots. A prime example is the sub-plot with Jules’ family.

The sub-plot with Jules’ family feels useless in the grand scheme of things, because Jules and his family don’t add anything significant to the story, and truth be told, I COMPLETELY forgot about Jules and his family at one point. Why? Because the story is too convoluted. We’re dealing with a man, who’s dying of cancer, Ethan is trying to make up for lost time with Zoey and Christine before his death, Ethan is hunting two villains, and 3 Days To Kill adds another pancake to the stack with another sub-plot for Ethan and Vivi’s storyline together.

To make matters worse, 3 Days To Kill’s overstuffed problem hinders the development for other storylines. Need an example? The storyline with Hugh’s father as The Wolf’s business partner. That’s a major development at the end, but it’s another useless storyline, and they ruined the potential for any real shock value with the reveal, because there’s no explanation whatsoever for the origins of the partnership between Hugh’s father and The Wolf.

3 Days To Kill wants to be a comedy, an action film, and they squeeze in a storyline about a dying man fighting for one last chance to bond with his family. It’s too much, and unfortunately, I’ll remember 3 Days To Kill as a film with a ton of potential, but a bad case of overkill and redundancy ruined everything.

Rating: 3/10

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Character Spotlight- Mandy Lane- All The Boys Love Mandy Lane (2013)

**This post contains spoilers**

Mandy Lane is a hot commodity at a local high school in Texas. Mandy is pure and innocent. No drugs, no alcohol, no wild parties. Mandy is uncorrupted, she's the last of a dying breed, and she's a prime target for the popular clique at school. 

Red, Chloe, Jake, Bird, and Marlin launch a plan to break Mandy out of her shell during a weekend at Red's ranch, but Mandy's best friend Emmet crashes the party. Mandy dropped Emmet as her nerdy best friend after a tragedy, but Emmet is still obsessed with Mandy. A harmless weekend of fun turns into a chaotic fight for survival, when a deranged and murderous Emmet unleashes his wrath on Mandy's new friends. 

When you look at the pic above, the first thought that pops in your mind is "Poor little Mandy." She's just trying to do the right thing as a teenager. Stay away from drugs and alcohol, focus on her school work and good grades, and she doesn't crack under peer pressure. Okay, she accepted the invitation to Red's party, but Mandy fought the urges to succumb to temptations during a wild night.

But Mandy shows her true colors towards the end. Chloe is the remaining survivor from the party, but Emmet is seconds away from finishing her off during a lopsided chase. Chloe runs into Mandy's open arms for safety and comfort, but Mandy drives a knife into her gut. To make matters worse, Mandy bails on an agreed suicide pact with Emmet, and she turns the tables on Emmet during a fight. Mandy murders Emmet, she rescues a wounded Garth (the ranch hand for Red's father), and Mandy escapes the massacre as the hero with Garth.

Everyone was wrapped up in Mandy's cloak of purity and innocence. They wanted to believe in this seemingly harmless good girl with no stains on her track record, but underneath her calm smile, Mandy is hiding a malicious and nasty alter-ego. Imagine someone luring you into an open field of green grass with the smell of fresh baked cinnamon raisin bread. You're in a trance, because the smell is infatuating, and when you finally let your guard down BAM! Someone slaps a bear trap on your foot. Mandy is the cinnamon raisin bread AND the bear trap.

Just think about something for a second. Emmet and Mandy came up with the plan to murder everyone at the ranch together, so Emmet knew about Mandy's bloodthirsty persona. Still, Mandy used Emmet. She played him for a fool, because Mandy is irresistible, and she's an expert at playing mind games, and using someone else's emotions against them.

And there's nothing Oscar worthy about Amber Heard's performance, but the last shot in All The Boys Love Mandy Lane is eerie and chilling. It's a flashback of a scene at a gas station from the early stages of the movie. Mandy is with the crew, and she's walking on the train tracks. Everyone else is too busy fooling around and cracking jokes, so Mandy is off to herself, and no one is paying attention to her. There's a close up shot with this knowing and diabolical look on Heard's face. Red and his friends are walking into a death trap, and a killer is quietly standing next to them. Mandy was basking in the glory of the upcoming slaughter fest for her sheeps, because they passed the point of no return.

All The Boys Love Mandy Lane (2013) won't change the landscape for horror films, and it's not a groundbreaking entry for the slasher sub-genre. But you can learn one important lesson from Mandy: Innocence is deadly.

If you're interested, you can read my spoiler review for All The Boys Love Mandy Lane by following this link- http://mitchmacready.blogspot.com/2013/10/all-boys-love-mandy-lane-2013spoiler.html  

Or you can read the minor spoilers review here- http://mitchmacready.blogspot.com/2013/10/all-boys-love-mandy-lane-2013minor.html

All The Boys Love Mandy Lane (2013)(Minor Spoilers Review)

**This review contains MINOR spoilers**

First, there’s an interesting backstory for this film. All The Boys Love Mandy Lane was on the shelf for over six years. The film was completed in 2006, and ATLBLML premiered at various film festivals in 2006 and 2007. The Weinstein Company bought the rights to ATBLML, but they didn’t know what to do with it, so they sold the rights to Senator Entertainment, a company that eventually went bankrupt. Earlier this year, The Weinstein Company reacquired the rights to ATBLML. The film received various VOD releases in September, and tomorrow, ATBLML hits theaters for a limited release. Now, on to the review! 

During one hot summer in Texas, Chloe (Whitney Able) invites Mandy Lane (Amber Heard) to a weekend vacation at Red’s (Aaron Himelstein) ranch. At the ranch, Mandy leaves the troubles of high school life behind her with Chloe, Red, Jake (Luke Grimes), Bird (Edwin Hodge), and Marlin (Melissa Price).

Mandy ignores her long-time best friend, Emmet’s (Michael Welch) attempts to explain himself after a tragedy, but Mandy will have to worry about bigger problems at the ranch. The ranch hand, Garth (Anson Mount) won’t tolerate any tomfoolery, but Garth and everyone else left on the ranch suspect something fishy after a string of mysterious disappearances…….

All The Boys Love Mandy Lane is a frustrating film for a number of reasons. First of all, don’t let the mysterious ambiguity of the trailer fool you: Mandy Lane barely rises above average quality for any run-of-the-mill slasher flick. With the obvious foreshadowing, you’ll be know the identity of the killer, instantly.

The characters? Yeah, Mandy Lane is loaded with the typical bunch in a teen slasher film: the airheaded blonde, who falls down a lot while running (Chloe), the jock (Bird), that one guy, who’s a dick to everyone (Jake), and that one person, who’s not the sharpest tool in the shed (Marlin). Of course, Mandy breaks the mold, as the innocent and beautiful blonde, who doesn’t crack under peer pressure. Mandy is uncorrupted for the most part, but the direction for her character takes a surprising turn towards the end (more on that later).

The story? Well, it bored me to tears, until the finale rolled around. Red, Bird, and Jake compete against one another for the honor of being the first one to have sex with Mandy. Sorry, but watching a bunch of horny male teenagers fight over and stab each other in the back for Mandy didn’t do anything for me.

The cinematography is gorgeous, and director Johnathan Levine provides some great shots of an empty countryside. Still, All The Boys Love Mandy Lane could’ve been so much more. With Mandy Lane, you had the perfect character to take a chance on doing something different. Instead, you’ll have to sit through another slasher flick, where some creepy weirdo stalks a bunch of unsuspecting victims in a house.

On top of that, ATBLML is loaded with clichéd slasher characters, overall the gore and blood isn’t shocking or grotesque, the entire cast is average at best (yes, that includes Heard), and ATBLML features one too many stupid “Why would you do that?” moments.

Yeah, the twists are great, but without them, ATBLML is another random and forgettable slasher. I wouldn’t be surprised if ATBLML developed a cult-classic fan following over the years, and despite all my complaints, I actually enjoyed the movie. I appreciated  the effort to take a “throwback to Grindhouse films” approach, but ATBLML isn’t a groundbreaking horror film, and it won’t change the landscape in the slasher genre, so don‘t get your hopes up too high for this one. And it’s a damn shame, because ATBLML had the potential  to be that one film.

Rating: 6/10

Looking for a change from Batman, Spider-Man, and Iron Man? Then get know the world's newest superheroine Freechelle Fantabulous for only $0.99 by following the link- http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFLI6VK

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All The Boys Love Mandy Lane (2013)(Spoiler Review)

**This review contains spoilers**


First, there’s an interesting backstory for this film. All The Boys Love Mandy Lane was on the shelf for over six years. The film was completed in 2006, and ATLBLML premiered at various film festivals in 2006 and 2007. The Weinstein Company bought the rights to ATBLML, but they didn’t know what to do with it, so they sold the rights to Senator Entertainment, a company that eventually went bankrupt. Earlier this year, The Weinstein Company reacquired the rights to ATBLML. The film received various VOD releases in September, and tomorrow, ATBLML hits theaters for a limited release. Now, on to the review! 

During the summer in Texas, Dylan (Adam Powell) invites Mandy Lane (Amber Heard) to a pool party at his house. Reluctantly, Dylan allows Mandy to bring her nerdy best friend, Emmet (Michael Welch) to the party. Mandy is the last of a dying breed at high school. She’s the hottest girl in school, and Mandy is still drug free, alcohol free, and without a boyfriend, so Dylan sees the perfect opportunity to make his move on Mandy.

At the party, Emmet pushes a drunk Dylan to jump off the roof of his house with him, and into the pool. But the risky stunt to impress Mandy ends in tragedy, when Emmet pulls back to stay on the roof at the last second. Dylan jumps, he misses the pool by a few inches, and the back of Dylan’s head hits the concrete.

Nine months after Dylan’s death, Mandy’s still holding a grudge against Emmet. After joining a new circle of friends, Mandy is invited to a weekend vacation on Red’s (Aaron Himlstein ) ranch by Chloe (Whitney Able). Red, Chloe, Jake (Luke Grimes), Bird (Edwin Hodge), and Marlin (Melissa Price) focus their efforts on Mandy, as they launch a mission to break Mandy out of her shell. With the ranch hand Garth (Anson Mount) watching over them, the kids try to enjoy a peaceful weekend. But having some harmless fun takes a backseat to bigger problems after a string of random disappearances, and the sighting of a stalker……

All The Boys Love Mandy Lane is a frustrating film for a number of reasons. First of all, don’t let the mysterious ambiguity of the trailer fool you: Mandy Lane barely rises above average quality for any run-of-the-mill slasher flick. With the obvious foreshadowing, you’ll be able to tell Emmet is the killer, who’s stalking everyone at the ranch, instantly. At first, you’ll just see this creepy guy in a hoody, and they don’t actually show Emmet’s face until the tail end of the film. Still, it’s so obvious Emmet is the killer.

The characters? Yeah, Mandy Lane is loaded with the typical bunch in a teen slasher film: the airheaded blonde, who falls down a lot while running (Chloe), the jock (Bird), that one guy, who’s a dick to everyone (Jake), and that one person, who’s not the sharpest tool in the shed (Marlin). Of course, Mandy breaks the mold, as the innocent and beautiful blonde, who doesn’t crack under peer pressure. Mandy is uncorrupted for the most part, but the direction for her character takes a surprising turn towards the end (more on that later).

The story? Well, it bored me to tears, until the finale rolled around. Red, Bird, and Jake compete against one another for the honor of being the first one to have sex with Mandy. Sorry, but watching a bunch of horny male teenagers fight over and stab each other in the back for Mandy didn’t do anything for me.

But Mandy Lane deserves credit for two shocking twists during the finale. So Chloe is being chased by Emmet in a car. Mandy’s standing on the other side of the field with a knife in her hand, and as Chloe runs into Mandy’s open arms for safety, Mandy stabs her in the chest. Here, it’ revealed Emmet and Mandy worked together as a team to kill everyone on the ranch.

With Chloe dead, Emmet pulls out two suicide  pills. The final stage of the plan involves Emmet and Mandy dying together…..but Mandy double crosses Emmet at the last second, when a wounded Garth returns. Funny how Garth is still alive, because before this scene, Garth was shot in the chest, AND during the struggle with Emmet, Emmet stabs Garth with his machete three or four times. And somehow Garth makes it out alive? If his last name was Myers or Voorhees, I wouldn’t have a problem with invincibility, but that’s not the case here. Anyway, with Garth’s help, Mandy is able to kill Emmet, and as Mandy and Garth are driving away together, Garth praises Mandy for being the savior.

The series of twists at the end really saved Mandy Lane from mediocre status. Throughout the film, you’re lead to believe Emmet is killing off everyone (including any witnesses), who’s trying to get close to Mandy, because Emmet believes he should be Mandy’s “first.” After years and years of paying his dues in the infamous friend zone, Emmet developed an unnatural obsession for Mandy. This obsession drove him to madness, so he decided to go on a killing spree for Mandy.

I love the diabolical ending, with a devious Mandy escaping the massacre, and maintaining her reputation as the pure and untarnished “good girl.” Plus, before the credits start rolling, ATBLML replays footage from the scene with Mandy and everyone else at the gas station. During the replay, there’s a pause to show one final shot of Mandy looking at the camera with this evil look in her eyes. It’s a chilling shot in retrospect, because you would never believe someone like Mandy is capable of killing.

The cinematography is gorgeous, and director Johnathan Levine provides some great shots of an empty countryside. Still, All The Boys Love Mandy Lane could’ve been so much more. With Mandy Lane, you had the perfect character to take a chance on doing something different. Instead, you’ll have to sit through another slasher flick, where some creepy weirdo stalks a bunch of unsuspecting victims in a house.

On top of that, ATBLML is loaded with clichéd slasher characters, overall the gore and blood isn’t shocking or grotesque (the scene where Emmet uses his machete to slice open Bird’s eyes is really nasty, but that’s about it), the entire cast is average at best (yes, that includes Heard), and ATBLML features one too many stupid “Why would you do that?” moments.

Yeah, the twists are great, but without them, ATBLML is another random and forgettable slasher. I wouldn’t be surprised if ATBLML developed a cult-classic fan following over the years, and despite all my complaints, I actually enjoyed the movie. I appreciated  the effort to take a “throwback to Grindhouse films” approach, but ATBLML isn’t a groundbreaking horror film, and it won’t change the landscape in the slasher genre, so don‘t get your hopes up too high for this one. And it’s a damn shame, because ATBLML had the potential  to be that one film.

Rating: 6/10

Looking for a change from Batman, Spider-Man, and Iron Man? Then get know the world's newest superheroine Freechelle Fantabulous for only $0.99 by following the link- http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFLI6VK

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Paranoia (2013)

**This review contains spoilers**

Fed up with being an entry level scrub at the Wyatt Corporation, Adam Cassidy (Liam Hemsworth) puts all of his eggs in one basket with a presentation, that could change his ordinary life. With his teammates and friends by his side, Adam gives it his all with a pitch about a new technology for social media, but Adam’s presentation doesn’t impress Nicholas Wyatt (Gary Oldman), the owner and boss of the Wyatt Corporation. The failure of the presentation and a smart remark costs Adam and his friends their jobs, but Adam decides to get a little payback by using a company credit card to run up a sixteen thousand dollar bill at a night club with his friends.

The very next day, Adam is taken back to the Wyatt Corporation against his will by Wyatt’s enforcer and personal bodyguard, Miles Meechum (Julian McMahon). Threatening to press charges against Adam for credit card fraud, Wyatt gives Adam a choice: he can either go to jail, or he can accept a mission from Wyatt to become a spy and infiltrate the Eikon Corporation, Wyatt’s top competitor, so he can learn about and eventually steal a prototype that will change the landscape for technology, and give US soldiers a better fighting chance in the battle field. Using jail time and the hopes of providing a better life for himself and his ill father, Frank (Richard Dreyfuss) as motivation, Adam accepts the offer.

Courtesy of Wyatt’s team and his top assistant, Judith (Embeth Davidtz), Adam receives a makeover, so he can look the part of a hot shot executive with new suits and a lavish apartment. After his first presentation, Adam catches the eye and gains the trust of Jock Goddard (Harrison Ford), Wyatt’s former mentor turned rival and the owner of Eikon. But to pull of the heist, Adam must deceive, Emma Jennings (Amber Heard), Eikon’s Director Of Marketing, and Adam will have to fight his feelings for Emma after a one night stand with Emma before his mission started.

Adam has second thoughts about his promise to Wyatt after receiving a warning from an FBI agent named Gamble (Josh Holloway), but Wyatt uses Frank’s life as collateral, if Adam decides to pull out. Adam is given a deadline to steal the prototype after Wyatt senses betrayal, but at the last possible second, Jock pulls a trump card, that will alter the course of Adam’s mission.

Make no mistake about it. Liam Hemsowrth is the biggest problem here, because the entire story revolves around his character. Hemsworth is such a dull, boring, and uninteresting leading man. And I’m sorry, but he’s not believable as this suave and crafty businessman/whiz kid, who’s one step ahead of everyone else. I have no real complaints about Amber Heard’s performance, but her character is so clichéd (more on that later). Julian McMahon is just there, and he could’ve been replaced by anyone else. And I wish Josh Holloway had more screen time. He had so much potential, as the hard ass FBI agent, but his character is limited to sporadic appearances (in fact, I only counted three: the one at the bar, the one at the house, where Gamble goes to warn Adam about Wyatt, and at the end during the big arrests).

So yeah, the veterans take the cake here. Richard Dreyfuss steals every scene he’s in, making Hemsworth look more inferior in the process. Gary Oldman and Harrison Ford are fantastic here. Oldman is so slimy and detestable throughout the movie, as the rich and power hungry corporate asshole. Ford has his moments as a vulnerable old man, but towards the end, when Jock shows his true colors, Ford does a wonderful job of transforming himself into a villain, who’s just as (if not more) despicable than Oldman.

The rivalry between Jock and Wyatt is the driving force behind Paranoia. Oldman and Ford really sold the hatred and bitterness between both men, and their face to face duels are the highlights of this film. I’m pretty sure you’ve all seen this part in the trailers and TV spots, but it’s a lot more intense, when you actually see it in the film, and the events leading up to it. Jock and Wyatt are going at it, and the heated part of the argument concludes with this:

Wyatt: “YOU STOOD ON MY SHOULDERS!”

Jock: “And now I’m standing on your neck!”

Unfortunately, Paranoia is suffocated by too many clichéd characters. Adam is the typical Average Joe, who wants a better life, and he’s willing to do anything to get it, until he realizes he went too far and made a mistake. Amber Heard’s Emma is a horribly bland “strong woman in the business world, who outworks all the men to prove her worth.” Yeah, Ford and Oldman’s characters are power hungry business men, but they get a pass from me, because their performances are the backbone of this film.

And the predictability? Yikes. Paranoia deserves some credit for a handful of genuinely shocking twists at the end, but the through the motions story before the big finale almost put me to sleep. Adam wanting to back out of Wyatt’s deal, Emma giving Adam a second chance, and falling in love with him after the one night stand, Adam wanting a second chance with Emma after he betrays her, Adam setting the wheels in motion to turn the tables on Wyatt and Jock, and of course, when Adam tries to steal the prototype, everything goes wrong. Oh, and giving away a lot of the major plot points in the trailers didn’t help anything.

Plus, Paranoia is loaded with “Big Brother” material. Adam is being monitored by Miles and other Wyatt associates at his apartment with surveillance cameras, and the Big Brother paranoia (no pun intended) is a reoccurring theme throughout this movie. My reaction to the Big Brother themes and social commentary? Meh. It’s nothing you haven’t seen before in other mainstream mystery suspense thrillers, and the fancy technology and cool graphics couldn’t help Paranoia stand out amongst the pack. 

With all that said, I didn’t hate Paranoia. As a thriller, yeah Paranoia is a snoozer and pretty generic (you can see the dramatic big arrests scene and downfall of empires aftermath/ending coming from a mile away), but it’s hard to take your eyes off of Ford and Oldman (Richard Dreyfuss deserves credit too), especially when they’re on screen together. Paranoia definitely had the potential to be a better thriller. With a different director (Robert Luketic‘s style is very bland, and for a thriller, Paranoia is severely lacking in the suspense and thrills department ) and a better leading man, Paranoia could’ve been one of the better summer films this year, easily.

Rating: 4/10

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The Informers (2008)

**This review contains spoilers**

So the story is broken into a series of separate storylines. Characters from different storylines have some interaction with each other every now and then, so I’ll do another “separate synopses and my thoughts after each one” breakdown. The Informers is set in various cities throughout Los Angeles in 1983.

Bruce’s Death

One night at a party, Bruce (Fernando Consagra) strolls out into the street, and is killed by a speeding driver. His “friends” attended the funeral, and afterwards, Graham (Jon Foster), a drug dealer, Martin (Austin Nichols), an egotistical bisexual rock video producer and a prostitute, Tim (Lou Taylor Pucci), and Raymond (Aaron Himelstein) are sitting outside on the patio of the hotel, where the funeral is being held. But instead of reminiscing about good times with Bruce, Martin decides to bask in the glory of Bruce’s death by mocking his memory with unflattering stories, including the true stories of Bruce sleeping with Graham’s promiscuous girlfriend, Christie (Amber Heard). Raymond is disgusted by the lack of respect for Bruce’s memory, breaks down in tears, and Graham follows him to the bathroom for comfort.

My Thoughts: The problem with the opening moments for The Informers is, NOTHING catches your attention to the point, where you’ll be interested enough to stick around for the rest of the movie. Plus, they introduce the audience to the long list of very unlikeable characters from the start. Tim is whining about a vacation to Hawaii. Graham KNOWS his girlfriend is cheating on him, but he tries to play it off like it’s not a big deal. Raymond is blubbering like a baby for a guy, who clearly hated his guts (during the party Bruce shoved him in the chest, because Raymond was following him around too much), and Martin is just a tool. And why did they put so much emphasis on Bruce’s death? After he’s smacked by the car, and after the funeral, his character is never mentioned again.

Graham knows Christie is sleeping with other guys, doesn’t like it, but he still won’t do anything about it

Christie enjoys Martin as one of her more consistent and likeable sex partners outside of Graham, and Christie is pretty open about her promiscuity. But Graham’s feelings for Christie cause some friction in the consensual and friendly love triangle.

My Thoughts: The mind-numbing stupidity in this storyline is just too much. There’s a scene, where Graham is watching this orgy involving Christie…..and he just stands there with this horrified look on his face? Eh, if Christie’s “open relationship” lifestyle is bothering you THAT much, why don’t you just leave her? I don’t get it. Graham cleans up his act, and you quickly realize Christie is in the wrong here, but it’s hard to feel any sympathy for Graham, because he’s such an inept crybaby. Oh, and on top of that, Martin calls Graham out for sleeping around with other women during the beginning, so again, why should I feel bad for Graham? In a lot of ways, he is/was just as bad as Christie.

Uncle Pete comes to visit, and he brings Mary with him

Peter (Mickey Rourke) is looking for a place to lay low, until the heat from some bad people dies down. Without giving him a choice in the matter, Peter hides out at his nephew Jack’s (Brad Renfro) house in Los Angeles. Jack is worried about Peter’s presence possibly jeopardizing his job as a doorman at Christie’s apartment complex, and Peter doesn’t help matters, because he brings a kidnapped teenager named Mary (Angela Sarafayan) with him. To make the situation worse, Peter abducts another young kid one day, so he can make more money in a kidnap and trade for cash business. But Jack makes a fatal mistake that will change his life forever, when he refuses to hand over the kid to the people, who paid Peter.

My Thoughts: Well, this is probably the best storyline in The Informers. Unlike all the other storylines, Pete and Jack’s stroryline actually has some intrigue to it. You wonder what might happen, if Peter, Jack, and Mary stick around for the bad guys to come back. You wonder if Jack will finally find the courage to stand up to Peter, and finally tell him “no.“ Enough is enough. And you kind of feel sorry for Jack, because Peter comes out of nowhere, and ruins his life. Plus, Mickey Rourke delivers one of the best performances in this film.

Bryan Metro

Bryan Metro (Mel Raido) is a hot and wildly popular rock musician, who’s currently on tour. But along the way, Bryan succumbs to his addictions to drugs, alcoholism, and a shameful habit of sleeping with underage groupies. Bryan’s trusted bandmate, friend, and manager, Roger (Rhys Ifans) tries to secure a deal for a movie, that would put Bryan in the starring role, but Bryan’s problems and a broken relationship with Nina Metro (Simone Kessell), his ex-wife and the mother of his only child, could derail any chances of a positive future.

My Thoughts: Bryan Metro is easily the most despicable character in this movie. He’s a grown man, who sleeps with young male and female teenagers, he beats women, and he’s a terrible father. Need an example of how creepy Bryan Metro is? During the meeting for the B-movie with a rep from the studio, Bryan is attracted to this teenage girl, who’s watching TV in the bedroom of his hotel room. Metro loses interest in the meeting, and he becomes infatuated with the girl, when she smiles at him, showing Metro her braces.  Yeah, kind of hard to feel sympathy for Metro, when he’s on the phone yelling at Nina for a chance to speak with his kid, because he’s such a scumbag.

Tim Price and Les Price

Living with his mother, Tim’s parents are divorced, and against his will, Tim is forced to go on a vacation to Hawaii with his father Les (Chris Isaak). Tim still has bitter feelings towards his father, and the already strained relationship becomes worse in Hawaii.

My Thoughts: Yes, Les is an obnoxious man child, who hits on women half his age, but Tim is still annoying, as the whiny and immature spoiled brat. “This sucks! I’m going to Hawaii for a vacation, and my dad is paying for everything! What a jerk!” Seriously? So yeah, The Informers major problem of having one too many unlikeable characters rears its ugly head again here, because I didn’t want to support either Tim or Les.

William and Laura’s broken marriage

Depressed, and addicted to prescription  pills, Laura Sloan (Kim Basinger) agrees to a proposal from her estranged husband and wealthy movie producer, William Sloan (Billy Bob Thornton) for William to move back into their mansion, so they can live together. William wants a second chance after having an affair with Cheryl Moore (Winona Ryder), a popular local news anchorwoman, but Laura must end her sexual relationship with Martin. Meanwhile, William has doubts after some old feelings for Cheryl resurface, and the situation becomes more tense, when William pursues Cheryl at a restaurant during a celebratory dinner with the Sloan’s children, Graham and Susan (Cameron Goodman). 

My Thoughts: ……okay. So Laura is sleeping with Martin (her son‘s best friend), and on top of that, it’s heavily implied Martin and Laura had a regular and ongoing sexual relationship during William’s affair with Cheryl. So why should I feel sympathy for Laura, as this broken and depressed woman? William is a selfish douchebag, but Laura is no saint either. And Susan could’ve  provided some much needed positive light in the murky darkness of characters for The Informers, but Goodman doesn’t receive a significant amount of screen time here.

Summary

The veterans take the cake here, because Rourke and Basinger deliver the best performances. Amber Heard is just eye candy, because during most of her appearances in this film, she’s either topless, completely naked, or having sex. Billy Bob Thornton is seemingly bored, with an unengaging and lifeless performance. And Winona Ryder is just going through the motions during her limited screen time. Brad Renfro’s Jack is probably the only guy in this entire film, who you can feel some sympathy for, but Renfro’s performance isn’t convincing,  at all (I cringed, when Jack tried to put on a tough guy face in front of his uncle Pete, and said “I’m gonna cut his fucking throat”). On a side note, I had no idea Renfro died of a heroin overdose a handful of years ago. Always thought he had some potential (he was pretty solid in Bully), and for the life of me I couldn’t figure out a reason for not seeing him in any movies recently. But after researching, I learned about his problems with drugs and alcohol.  Performance wise, the rest of the cast is not worth mentioning at all.

The Informers doesn’t give the audience any likeable characters to support or root for. Too many whining and spoiled rich kids, pedophiles, stupid people, self-absorbed junkies, and egomaniacs. And the writers ruin any semi-likeable characters. Yes, Bryan Metro is a piece of trash, but Nina is one of Martin’s clients, and she allows her young son to play with and bond with Martin?

The final scene of the movie shows Christie laying on the beach, and she’s CLEARLY dying (presumably from AIDS), because a fly lands on her cold and pale body, and she doesn’t even feel it. This scene was suppose to generate some sympathy for Christie, as Graham gives her one final kiss good-bye. But yeah, it’s kind of hard to feel sympathy for someone, who CONSTANTLY and carelessly has unprotected sex throughout the movie, and refuses to go to the doctor for help at the end.

William and Laura’s finale for their storyline was SO incredibly stupid. So Laura calls William out for trying to make another move on Cheryl. William eventually admits it during an argument, but Laura agrees to go with William to a banquet, and after that, William has to move out (again), and get out of Laura’s life forever. And get this, the main reason  for William wanting to go to the banquet is so he can see Cheryl in person again. And Laura agrees, because she wants to have a final face to face confrontation with Cheryl. But here’s the swerve! William and Laura arrive at the banquet, but Laura never gets out of the limo. She catches Cheryl with one glimpse from inside the limo, closes the door, and leaves William at the banquet by himself, as the limo drives away. Okay. Hold on a minute. Laura could’ve avoided this whole mess by simply choosing to stay at home. And William had plenty of chances to see Cheryl face to face without Laura. So why on Earth did they have to go together? I don’t get it.

Any social commentary for the consequences of unprotected sex, AIDS, and the outbreak of STDs in the gay community is overshadowed by an overload of dreary and overly dramatic storylines. And the best performances from Rourke and Basinger are undermined by two unlikable (especially Rourke’s Peter, because it’s implied he has a sexual relationship with Mary) characters. The Informers is a depressing, ugly, and miserable ensemble film with too many scumbag characters, and the stroylines culminate into a series of unfulfilling and underwhelming finales. An awful , awful film, and to think they almost added a supernatural element to this one. Brandon Routh was suppose to play a vampire in another sub-plot (the vampire was in the book, and The Informers is based on the same book with the same title), but those plans were scrapped. I don’t think it’s possible, but there’s a good chance the vampire sub-plot would’ve dug a deeper grave for The Informers.

Rating: 0/10