Thursday, August 15, 2013

Mitch's Franchise Rankings

So I'm not done yet, but for a while, I've been piecing together my rankings for franchises/film series. Each ranking is from highest to lowest, and yes, in due time, I plan on writing a review for each film. I'll update my rankings, as I add more films (remakes, sequels, etc.) and when I make little adjustments, so this list is far from done. Enjoy!

The Terminator


1.Terminator 2: Judgment Day
2. The Terminator
3. Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines
4. Terminator Salvation

My Thoughts: I might take some heat for it, but Judgment Day classifies as one of those rare films that surpasses the original in terms of quality. Salvation isn't at the bottom, because it's a terrible film. Christian Bale holds up his end of the bargain, but I can't say the same thing about Sam Worthington.

Aliens & AVP Films:

1. Aliens
2. Alien
3. Alien 3
4. Alien VS Predator
5. Aliens VS Predator Requiem

My Thoughts: Yes, I'm putting the sequel on top, but it's a close #1 pick, though. I've always enjoyed the bigger and bolder approach to sequels, and Cameron nailed it.

Back To The Future


1. Back To The Future Part II
2. Back To The Future
3. Back To The Future Part III

My Thoughts:
I know it's an unpopular opinion, but I've always ranked Part II higher the original. I just love everything about the sequel. Biff as the heartless, womanizing jerk in the alternate 1985, the cliffhanger at the end, and the constant twists and turns. Part II is more screwy than the first film. There's no doubt about it. But the story is more compelling, and it's a fun comedy. In Part III, watching Marty take a trip to the 1800's is a bittersweet moment for me, because everything goes downhill after that. I can't get into the old west stuff, and then there's the ending. Why Emmet? Why?

Star Wars

1. The Empire Strikes Back
2. A New Hope
3. Return Of The Jedi
4. Revenge Of The Sith
5. The Phantom Menace
6. Attack Of The Clones

My Thoughts: Yoda VS Dooku/Darth Tyranus is one of the worst final battles I've ever seen in any type of film. And Hayden Christensen is atrocious.

Saw

1. Saw III
2. Saw II
3. Saw
4. Saw VII/3D
5. Saw VI
6. Saw IV
7. Saw V

My Thoughts: Everything takes a dive after Saw III, and for me, Saw III signifies the end of the glory days for the Saw franchise. I hated Saw 7/3D, when I first watched it in theaters. Jill's exit still bothers me, but #7 is starting to grow on me. Saw V is just horrendous. Boring, laborious, and the soul crushing realization of Hoffman as the new Jigsaw is just too much to handle.


Halloween (including remakes)

1. Halloween (1978)
2. Halloween 2 (1981)
3. Halloween (2007-theatrical & uncut version)
4. Halloween H20: 20 Years Later
5. Halloween 4: The Return Of Michael Myers
6. Halloween 5: The Revenge Of Michael Myers
7. Halloween 3: Season Of The Witch
8. Halloween 6/The Curse Of Michael Myers
9. Halloween 2 (2009 theatrical & unrated version)
10. Halloween Resurrection

My Thoughts:
The original is a no-brainer as the #1 choice, and I've never understood the lukewarm reception for the original sequel. I still adore Rob Zombie's 2007 remake, but the uncut version features a very unnecessary and pointless rape scene.

H2 2009 was a fucking mess from beginning to end. It felt like Zombie was trying to cram three movies in one, and Michael's visions of his dead mother with a white horse just added to the massive clusterfuck. Malcolm McDowell's Loomis becomes an annoying pompous jerk here, and his inexplicable face turn at the end couldn't save his character. And the ending in the uncut version is somehow worse than the ending in the theatrical version.

Resurrection is a terrible, terrible film, and they killed off Laurie, the primary protagonist at the beginning. The satanic cult garbage and Dr. Wynn in #6 is unbearable. And there wasn't any room for Jamie in the new story, so I guess they had to kill off her character before Michael stalked his new victims.

A Nightmare On Elm Street

1. A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
2. A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors
3. Wes Craven's New Nightmare
4. A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child
5. Freddy VS Jason
6. A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master
7. A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge
8. Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare
9. A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

My Thoughts:
The original is a one of a kind film, and a true classic. Freddy's Revenge was a shitty film, but to be fair, #2 had to overcome the challenge of topping, or matching the quality of the original, not an easy task. I've only seen Freddy's Dead a handful of times, and I just can't get into it. If I had the opportunity to see it in 3D during its theatrical run, I might change my mind, but I doubt it. Plus, I can't get that ridiculous image of Freddy imitating/mocking The Wicked Witch Of The West from The Wizard Of Oz.

Freddy VS Jason isn't monumental or ground breaking, but it's a nice treat for fans of both film series. The final action-esque style battle between Freddy and Jason at the end is good fun, and the gruesome deaths in this film are unreal. I'm just annoyed Jason Goes To Hell was chosen as the set-up film for this. Yeah, I know, Jason Goes To Hell was trying to be one of those intentionally "awfully good films, that are fun to mock," but it's still an unbearable abomination for me.


Jurassic Park

1. Jurassic Park
2. Jurassic Park: The Lost World
3. Jurassic Park III

My Thoughts:
I've never been a big fan of The Lost World, but Part 3 features one of the worst endings I've seen any type of film.


American Pie

1. American Pie
2. American Reunion
3. American Wedding
4. American Pie 2

My Thoughts: I actually enjoyed American Reunion, because it was a nice nostalgia kick for fans of the franchise, and Stiffler finally got his revenge on Finch. I won't bother listing the shitty straight-to-video sequels. They're abominations. The STV sequels tried cover up shitty acting, directing, and stories with obscene amounts of nudity, and each film deserves the lowest rating on any scale.

Die Hard

1. Die Hard With A Vengeance
2. Die Hard
3. Live Free Or Die Hard
4. Die Hard 2
5. A Good Day To Die Hard

My Thoughts: It's not as bad as the critics are making it out to be, but A Good Day To Die Hard isn't something to brag about either. It's the weakest film in the entire franchise, and it's not even close.

Die Hard is known for having some memorable villains, but the antagonists in this film are beyond dull. One of the Russian bad guys does a dance, while eating a carrot, and kicking away Jack and John's guns. Yeah.

A Good Day To Die Hard is loaded with flashy and over the top explosions, car chases, and action sequences. Die Hard 5 wanted to be the quintessential Hollywood action movie, but the end result was an underwhelming popcorn flick.

Most of the good action sequences are shown in the trailers, and overall, Die Hard 5 is pretty dull. You'll only see Mary Elizabeth Winstead at the very beginning and the very end. But Jack was the focal point of this film, so her limited screen time makes sense. And speaking of Jack, Jai Courtney wouldn't be a good choice to inherit the franchise, as the next McClane. Oh, and Willis tacks on a "yippee ki-yay motherfucker" at the end for the sake of nostalgia. But it was so random and forced, and hearing John's signature catchphrase again didn't do anything for me.


Friday The 13th

1. Friday The 13th Part VI: Jason Lives
2. Friday The 13th (1980)
3. Friday The 13th: The Final Chapter
4. Friday The 13th Part 2
5. Friday The 13th (2009)
6. Freddy VS Jason
7. Friday The 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan
8. Friday The 13th Part III
9. Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood
10. Friday The 13th: A New Beginning
11. Jason X
12. Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday


My Thoughts:
Jason Lives is the total package. Bloody gore, nasty violence, a good script, and a rock solid cast. Jennifer Cooke is just fantastic as Megan, and Jason Lives IS one of those films that surpasses the original in terms of quality. But on the flip-side, I wouldn't have any real complaints for Final Chapter taking the number one spot. Plus Jason Lives deserves more credit than Scream, when it comes to breaking the fourth wall. Sorry, but Kevin Williamson (the writer) wasn't the first one to go the "insider info" route.The original Scream receives so much praise, because they mock all the stupid character mistakes and clich├ęs in horror films with some winks to the audience every now and then, using the movie within a movie approach. But Jason Lives got a head start for this type of approach way back in 1986.


As far as Jason X and Jason Goes To Hell, I'm sorry, but I've tried over and OVER again, but I can not get into either film. Like an idiot, I asked for Jason X on DVD for a Christmas present in my mid-teens without watching it first. What a colossal mistake on my part. "Hey! This notorious serial killer is frozen in ice with a machete! Should we unfreeze him?" Ugh. Why would you even think about doing something like that? The special effects are atrocious, and you won't see Super-Terminator Jason until the very end. The 3D bullshit in Friday the 13th Part III is just annoying. Seriously, try to watch this film in regular 2D without laughing, it's almost impossible. The solo 3D DVD versions (and I'm guessing the 3D Blu-Ray versions also) include a few pairs of 3D glasses, so you can relive the experience in 3D, if you didn't see it in theaters years ago. It's not worth it, and I threw away any pairs of 3D glasses years ago.

Jason Goes To Hell is just unbearable for me. Awful, AWFUL dialogue, a shitty story, and too many stupid characters. Plus, Creighton Duke is probably one of the worst characters I've seen in any type of film. I can't remember if it was Roger Ebert or Richard Roper, but one of them dubbed Sharon Stone’s Catherine Tramell as one of the worst characters in the history of cinema. Duke should be a close second for that honor.

I can understand Friday The 13th fans enjoying Jason X and Jason Goes To Hell as mindless fun horror films. In fact, most Friday The 13th fans, who enjoy X and JGTH embrace both movies as fun garbage, especially JGTH. Still, I can't enjoy them. Freddy reaching up to grab Jason's mask at the end of JGTH sets up a cool crossover film, but at the same time, it's a bittersweet ending for me, because fast forwarding to the end is the only way to skip through all the bad parts.

Underworld

1. Underworld: Awakening
2. Underworld: Evolution
3. Underworld: Rise Of The Lycans
4. Underworld

My Thoughts: Awakening is the most thrilling and action packed film in the franchise. It's an easy pick for me, because the Underworld films are just stylish popcorn flicks, and Awakening is the shining example of how to do it right. And Eve (Selene and Michael's daughter) was one of the more interesting new characters. I don't care for the original. It bores me to tears, and I STRUGGLE to get through it every time, especially the extended version. Also, Shane Brolly's Kraven is the most uninteresting antagonist in the entire series.

Rocky

1. Rocky III
2. Rocky (1976)
3. Rocky IV
4. Rocky II
5. Rocky V
6. Rocky Balboa

My Thoughts:  First of all, Rocky III features my favorite training montage in the Rocky franchise, Adrian's speech is my overall favorite moment, and Mr. T calling out Rocky is my second favorite moment. Rocky was humbled in Rocky III. He developed a pompous ego, but the ass whipping from Clubber Lang gave him the necessary wake up call. Mickey's death is one of the more important moments in this franchise, and Hogan VS Rocky is always good for a few laughs. Clubber was Rocky's first real insurmountable challenge, and Rocky shows some real vulnerability after admitting his fears of fighting Lang to Adrian. Mr. T was the perfect fit for Clubber, and Part III features my favorite fight. I never get tired of seeing Rock dare Mr. T for more punishment at the end, and Carl Weathers cheerleader act is just hilarious.

And being a terrible film isn't the reason for Rocky Balboa's dead last spot. I really enjoyed it, but I can't rank it over the originals.


Paranormal Activity

1. Paranormal Activity 2
2. Paranormal Activity 3
3. Paranormal Activity
4. Paranormal Activity 4

My Thoughts: The original is God awful, and I still can't understand the praises for the "one that started it all", but Part 4 sinks to new lows for the PA franchise. Part 2 is the only PA film I can watch more than once, so it'll receive my #1 pick. But it's not a #1 pick for being a high quality film. No, if anything, it's a default choice for me. The PA franchise is running out of steam, and hopefully Paranormal Activity 5 will wrap everything up. But I doubt it, because they still have A LOT of plot holes to fill.

Scream

1. Scream
2. Scream 4
3. Scream 2
4. Scream 3

My Thoughts:  The original is a right choice for the top spot, but I was tempted to put Scream 4 at #1. Scream 4 was the perfect resurrection film for the Scream franchise, and Scream 4 was a TREMENDOUS upgrade over Scream 3. The "movie within a movie" stuff really felt tired and worn out in Part 3, and I HATED the ending. Part 2 wasn't bad, and Scream 2 probably features the best opening in the entire franchise. Although, it's kind of bittersweet for me, because you have to wonder how things would've played out if Jada Pinkett's character survived.

I want a Scream 5, but I don't think it's going to happen. Too many delays, mix ups, and Craven probably won't return as director. And I remember the plans to develop a Scream TV series, but David Arquette refused to participate. Plus, Kevin Williamson has backed away from Scream 5, and a Scream film isn't the same without him writing the screenplay (if you need anymore proof, just watch Scream 3).

X-Men

1. X-Men X2: X-Men United
2. X-Men: First Class
3. X-Men
4. X-men X3: The Last Stand
5. The Wolverine
6. X-Men Origins: Wolverine

My Thoughts:  X2 is just phenomenal from start to finish. X3 tried too hard to cram too many sub-plots into one film. I don't follow the comics, but X3 just felt like a massive clusterfuck. Origins was dogshit, and it failed on every level imaginable.

Spider-Man

1. Spider-Man 2
2. Spider-man
3. The Amazing Spider-Man
4. Spider-Man 3

My Thoughts:  I know I'm probably in the minority, but I enjoyed Andrew Garfield's Spider-Man/Peter Parker more than Tobey Maguire's portrayals. I still hate Spider-Man 3. An overload of sub-plots and super villains was bad enough, and again, I'm not a comic book expert by any means, but Topher Grace's whiny weasel act as Eddie Brock annoys the shit out of me. From what I remember in The Amazing Spider-Man cartoons as a kid, Eddie Brock was a mean asshole.

The Matrix

1. The Matrix
2. The Matrix: Reloaded
3. The Matrix: Revolutions

My Thoughts: I'm tempted to put Reloaded at the top, but that's not the right choice. The Matrix was a groundbreaking film, but Revolutions was the biggest disappointing finale I've seen for any major franchise, especially when you consider the financial success and critical acclaim for the first film. I still roll my eyes at the tired and overused "final showdown" between Neo and Smith, and Revolutions is the worst example of a "let's just make as much money as we possibly can" sequel.

Fast & The Furious

1. Fast Six
2. Fast Five
3. The Fast & The Furious
4. Fast & Furious
5. The Fast & The Furious: Tokyo Drift
6. 2 Fast 2 Furious

My Thoughts:

Usually, I enjoy brainless action blockbusters, who proudly embrace their status as a popcorn flick. But Michael Bay takes everything too far 99% of the time. Fast Five is over the top and thrilling, featuring some of the best stunts in the franchise. And The Rock was the ideal adversary for Vin Diesel's Dominic.


Strange. I don't know why, but I expected more from Gina Carano. Michelle Rodriguez's return was everything I was hoping for and more, and she had a few kick ass fight scenes with Carano. But what a shocker during the credits. Revealing Jason Statham as the next villain AND the guy, who took out Hans? Amazing cliffhanger. Oh, and I didn't care about Gisele's death. Sorry, but the character never did anything for me.

Tokyo Drift ran its one gimmick during the races into the ground too early, and Lucas Black is terrible in the leading role (also, Bow Wow is annoying as shit). A while ago, I think I did a best chases thread, and 2 Fast 2 Furious was one of my picks. But I only enjoy that one chase scene, the rest of the movie is garbage.


Night Of The Demons

1. Night Of The Demons (1988)
2. Night Of The Demons (2009)
3. Night Of The Demons 2
4. Night Of The Demons 3

My Thoughts:
I love grotesque and campy 80's horror comedies, so the 1988 original is an easy pick for me. Great soundtrack, fantastic cast, and I refuse to trash any film with Linnea Quigley. The third film is really bad, though.

Sleepaway Camp

1. Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland
2. Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers
3. Sleepaway Camp
4. Sleepaway Camp IV: The Survivor
5. Return to Sleepaway Camp

My Thoughts: Teenage Wasteland features the most creative and brutal deaths in the entire series, and Pamela Springsteen delivers her best performance as Angela here. I have the same feelings for Unhappy Campers, but I give the edge to Teenage Wasteland for the better ending.

The Survivor looks like a choppy mess, but it was shutdown during production in the early 90's, restarted in 2012, and completed in the same year. So I guess you have to give it a pass for bizarre circumstances. Still, it's an awful film. Return To Sleepaway Camp is just dogshit. It's a dull and uninspired straight-to-video slasher flick with a terrible cast, and lame story. Also, I'm not 100%, but Return To Sleepaway Camp could've been the last film to feature Isaac Hayes. I'm not 100% sure, because I know Soul Men received a release during this time.

But don't waste your time with Return or Survivor. Once you get past Teenage Wasteland, just stop. Survivor is an eyesore, and Return is a real chore to sit through.

Child's Play


1. Child's Play
2. Child's Play 2
3. Child's Play 3
4. Bride Of Chucky
5. Seed Of Chucky


My Thoughts: Ranking the Chucky series is an easy open and shut case, unfortunately. The series just gets worse after each film.

I wish I could tie Bride Of Chucky and Seed Of Chucky together for the bottom spots, because both are equally horrendous. Ever wondered what it would be like if Jason or Michael Myers had a female counterpart? Well, Bride and Seed had a chance to give horror fans something different, but they fucked it up, badly. Seed actually has a scene, where they show Chucky masturbating in some sort of creepy silhouette POV.

Brad Dourif's is mainly known for being the voice of Chucky, and his voice is eerily familiar to Danny De Vito's voice in each film. Dourif is a good, slimy bad guy. Not only as Chucky, but also as a normal man. Remember, he played Wormtongue in The Two Towers (I also think he's in the extended version of Return Of The King), the Deputy in Mississippi Burning, and more recently, Dourif was a shady holy water salesman in Priest. Also, I think he had a part in Alien Resurrection as a mad doctor type of character. Although, he was a good guy, as the Sheriff in Rob Zombie's Halloween remakes. Anyway, Dourif's been around for a while, and I haven't seen all of his films, but he's a reliable and entertaining villain.

Curse Of Chucky, the straight-to-video sequel, is supposed to have a release this Halloween, and of course, I'll give it a try. Nothing can possibly be worse than Seed or Bride.

Evil Dead

1. Evil Dead 2
2. Evil Dead
3. Evil Dead (2013)
4. Army Of Darkness

My Thoughts:
I know, I know. Some will take it as blasphemy to rank the new film over Army Of Darkness, but Evil Dead 2013 is just that damn good. It's an extreme bloodbath of carnage and vicious violence, and the runtime just flies by. Fede Alvarez produced an outstanding debut film behind the camera, and I'm still buzzing over Jane Levy's awesomeness.

Evil Dead 2 gets my pick for the number one spot, and I still enjoy it more than original. More laughs, more intense brutal, gory mayhem, and Evil Dead 2 starts out with a bang, and never lets up. Evil Dead will always be a classic, but it takes a while for the movie to kick into high gear. Evil Dead 2 is an adrenaline rush from start to finish, but Bobby Joe is kind of annoying.



Beverly Hills Cop

1. Beverly Hills Cop II
2. Beverly Hills Cop
3. Beverly Hills Cop III

My Thoughts: Part 3 is absolutely hideous in every way imaginable. The worst story of the franchise, terrible, TERRIBLE jokes, and it's a PG-13 film masquerading as a lame R-rated "action" comedy. An easy 0/10 for me. And to make things worse, they turned Rosewood into a wimp.....again. He finally breaks out of his shell in Part 2, and for some inexcusable reason, they turn him into a whiny coward again?

Rush Hour

1. Rush Hour
2. Rush Hour 2
3. Rush Hour 3

My Thoughts:
  Rush Hour 3 was a disgrace. A very lazy, money-grubbing sequel, and the odd couple routine between Chan and Tucker lost all of its luster here. It was a tired act, and Part 3 proved this in the worst way. A shame how Chris Tucker settled to make so many Rush Hour films over the years, because he made ridiculous amounts of money for each one. So much talent, and I know a lot of people will point to his current role in Silver Linings Playbook as the "he CAN do something besides James Carter" example, but I always take a look back at his role as a "Skip" in Dead Presidents. Just an amazing performance, but unfortunately, it's one of Tucker's forgotten roles.

Silent Night, Deadly Night (including the remake)


1. Silent Night, Deadly Night
2. Silent Night (2012)
3. Silent Night, Deadly Night 4: Initiation
4. Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker
5. Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2
6. Silent Night, Deadly Night 3: Better Watch Out!

My Thoughts:
Tough call for the top spot, because the remake is a solid Christmas horror flick. But I give the slight edge to the original. Eric Freeman's nutty lunatic act is the only reason why I put Part 2 above Better Watch Out! Both films are shit, but Better Watch Out! is just too pretentious for my taste, and the shitty cast (minus Samantha Scully) really drags the entire movie down. But you could switch the order of the last two, and I wouldn't make a big fuss about it either way.

The Hangover

1. The Hangover Part III
2. The Hangover
3. The Hangover Part II

My Thoughts: To my own surprise, I really enjoyed Part III. FINALLY they got away from the go through the motions "we've been drugged, wake up into a strange situation, and have to retrace our steps to find missing person “X" storylines used in the first two films. The original is harmless, but still HIGHLY overrated in my book, and the second film was god awful, one of the laziest sequels I've ever seen.

Part III on the other hand, caught me off guard. I actually enjoyed the more serious approach of Alan becoming a man. Alan is forced to become a man after his father dies, and cut ties with Chow as a friend. Also, John Goodman was just fantastic. Killing off Mike Epps was probably his funniest scene, and the movie NEEDED more of him. Chow was still annoying as shit, though.


Pirates Of The Caribbean:

1. The Curse of the Black Pearl
2. On Stranger Tides
3. Dead Man's Chest
4. At World's End

My Thoughts: I can't remember why I bought at At World's End on DVD. Maybe it was on sale, or maybe I just wanted to feed my urge of completing my collection for every film franchise I care about. But yeah, At World's End is easily the shittiest film in the series. Awful, awful convoluted mess of a story, and the run time is beyond exhausting. Also, Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom should win some kind of award for the worst couple/love story in any fiction film.

Predator & AVP Films:

1. Predator (1987)
2. Predators (2010)
3. Predator 2
4. Alien VS Predator
5. Aliens VS Predator: Requiem

My Thoughts:
Again, the original easily takes the top spot, but Predators was a breath of fresh air after Predator 2 and Requiem. Predators does a great job of paying homage to the original, and this film gives Predator fans hope for the future.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

1. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)
2. TMNT (2007)
3. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (1991)
4. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: Turtles in Time (1993)

I really enjoy TMNT to the point, where I'm tempted to put it over the original. The execution for the sub-plot featuring the internal rivalry between Leo and Raphael was spot on, and it's hard to pick a side, because they both have logical standpoints to argue from (Ralph being mad at Leo for leaving and having to pick up his slack, and Leo lecturing Ralph for being selfish and stubborn with the Nightwatcher persona).

Part three is still unbearable trash. It had to be the first time I watched it in quite some time, and I still hated it. A tired and generic time travel storyline, the humor is too corny to the point where the jokes aren't funny, and it felt like they were running out of reasons to justify the Turtles existence on the big screen. One sequel too many was the case here, and it's no surprise they had to wait until 2007 to go with another full length feature film.

Carrie

1. Carrie (1976)
2. Carrie (2013)
3. Carrie (2002)
4. The Rage Carrie 2 (1999)

Carrie 2013 isn't another abominable horror remake (i.e. A Nightmare On Elm Street 2010, and Rob Zombie's Halloween 2 2009), but it's a forgettable and mediocre experience at best. Rough year for Moretz with Kick-Ass 2 and Carrie flopping and receiving negative reviews.

My rankings between the 2002 made for TV remake and the '99 sequel is more of a default choice than anything.

The made for TV remake suffers from your usual set of problems: mediocre overall cast, poor production values, shitty directing, and pedestrian writing (especially the dialogue). And they completely ruined the Miss Desjardin character by turning her into this sneering bitch with a personal vendetta against Chris Hargensen.

The few bright spots come from Angela Bettis as Carrie. Not as good as Sissy Spacek by a long shot, but she deserves credit for an admirable effort, and well, she easily delivers the best performance in the cast. Plus, there's a stronger effort to stay true to the book in Carrie 2002. A prime example is showing a flashback from Carrie's childhood and the abuse from her mother. A shame, because with a better overall cast, director, production values, and screenplay, Carrie 2002 could've been much, MUCH better.

The Rage, a mainstream release, is somehow worse than a TV movie. That's enough to justify a bottom spot for me. Amy Irving returning as Sue is the only positive I can think of. Rachel Lang (long story short, she's Carrie's half-sister, because Carrie's father spent some time with Rachel's mother, Barbara) is a boring protagonist. Basically, she's a modern day Carrie White as an outcast goth chick, with an abusive stepfather. And Babara Lang is just a carbon copy of Margaret White (crazy and abusive religious mother).

Rage randomly forces footage from the '76 original as flashbacks with this schizophrenic and choppy style of editing. Rage feels like a remake 100%, not a sequel, because Rachel's stand alone story overwhelms anything involving Carrie's past and Carrie's parents. It's a weak film in every way imaginable, and now I can understand why they sell Rage with the other Carrie films in a three pack, because anyone with a shred of common sense or a respectable taste in film wouldn't pay more than $0.99 for Rage.

More proof I have too much free time on my hands......

Resident Evil

1. Resident Evil: Extinction (2007)
2. Resident Evil (2002)
3. Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004)
4. Resident Evil: Afterlife (2010)
5. Resident Evil: Retribution (2012)

After re-watching all the RE films, I can't understand how Paul W. S. Anderson is still able to find work in Hollywood. Awful director.

The RE franchise is a heap of mediocrity. Extinction (and what a surprise, Anderson wasn't the director for Extinction) and the original aren't great, good, or solid films. They're not as awful as the others, so it's more a default thing again. The clincher for Extinction being in the top spot is the cliffhanger at the end. For me, it's a “WOW I can’t wait to see part 4!” cliffhanger. Not like the “Oh shit, they’re going to make another Resident Evil film. Let it end already!” cliffhangers at the end of Afterlife and Retribution. Thought about putting Afterlife at the bottom, but Sienna Guillory's Jill Valentine in Retribution is appallingly bad.

The September release dates are the only reason why Resident Evil continues to survive as a franchise, and I'm pretty sure the sixth film will be terrible also. But as long they stick to another one of the dead zones in the mainstream world for release dates, Resident Evil films will continue to turn a profit.



No comments:

Post a Comment