In The Blood (2014)(Minor Spoilers Review)

**This review contains MINOR spoilers. No major character deaths or reveals**

In 2002, a teenage Ava lives with her father, Casey (Stephen Lang) in a shabby Bridgeport, Conneticut home. As a hardened outlaw, Casey trains his daughter to be a lethal fighting machine with rigorous survival exercises and intense sparring sessions.

One night, a group of thugs invade Casey and Ava’s home. The intruders murder Casey, but Ava turns the tables with a shotgun. Ava murders the remaining thugs to survive the attack, but a callous Ava refuses to shed one tear for her father’s death.

Twelve years later, a reformed Ava (Gina Carano) prepares for her wedding ceremony in Arlington, Virgina. Derek Grant (Cam Gigandet) met Ava at a narcotics  anonymous meeting, and he’s ready to trust and spend the rest of his life with her, but Derek’s wealthy father, Robert (Treat Williams) doesn’t trust Ava and her motvations for marrying Derek. Ava’s troubled past raises a red flag for Robert, and the thought of Ava devising a scheme to marry Derek for a piece of the family fortune is too much to handle, so Mr. Grant pushes Derek to sign a prenuptial agreement. To prove his loyalty to Ava, Derek refuses his father’s request, and he tears the prenup in half to erase any doubts.

After the wedding,  Derek and Ava take a trip to a Caribbean island for their honeymoon, and Derek uses his grandfather’s old house as a vacation home. On the island, Derek and Ava meet a friendly local named Manny (Ismael Cruz Cordova). Manny convinces Derek and Ava to join him for a wild night at a local nightclub. Here, Ava and Derek cross paths with Big Biz (Danny Trejo), a powerful and respected gangster on the island. Big Biz tries to seduce Ava, but Derek intervenes. Ava fights off an assault to protect Derek, and Manny helps the couple escape in a taxi. After the brawl, Big Biz’s rival, Silvio Lugo (Amaury Nolasco) issues a stern warning about disrupting the peaceful and festive environment at the club. 

In the morning, Derek and Ava take a chance on ziplining after a persuasive pitch from Manny. The ziplining instructor JoJo (Oscar H. Guerrero) reassures a nervous Ava, but Derek suffers a nasty leg injury after a potentially fatal fall from faulty equipment on the zipline.

JoJo calls for an ambulance, but Manny disappears. Ava tries to fight her way into the ambulance with Derek, but the paramedics deny Ava’s attempts for insurance concerns. Ava follows the ambulance to the hospital. She loses Derek and the ambulance after a fall, but a friendly local helps Ava with a ride to the hospital.  

At the hospital, Ava runs into an unpleasant surprise, when Leta (Yvette Yates), a receptionist,  can’t find any records of Derek’s name in the system. Ava forces her way through the doors, but after a quick search, it’s clear Derek is not in the hospital.

Ava  turns to the local police for help after an unsuccessful search in every clinic and hospital on the island. Police Chief Ramon Garza (Luis Guzman) is reluctant to help Ava, and after a visit from Derek’s family, Ava takes matters into her own hands to find and rescue Derek. 

Ava suspects a cover up after JoJo completely denies knowing, seeing, and assisting Derek, Ava, and Manny on the zipline. A determined Ava embarks on a bloody and deadly mission to find Manny and the paramedics for more answers, and rescue Derek before it‘s too late. But during the fight to uncover the truth behind the conspiracy, Ava unintentionally brings the bitter feud between Big Biz and Silvio to a dangerous boiling point.

Gina Carano has the tools to carve out a sustainable career for herself, as a recognizable face and name in the action genre. When it comes to sex appeal, she has the perfect balance. You notice Carano’s beauty, but her looks are never the main focus for her character, because she has what it takes to be a physical force. That, or Carano’s character(s) can use her good looks to deceive any adversaries (the bathroom scene on the boat is a good example for In The Blood.), and Carano’s MMA background is no secret, so she can rely on a touch of legitimacy for her film roles.

Carano’s Ava is a no-nonsense fighting machine, and Carano delivers another entertaining performance in her comfort zone here. Carano delivers on the physical side of things, and it’s not limited to the fight scenes. Carano carries herself well with convincing body language and an unflinching demeanor, and she’s decent enough in a few emotional scenes.

Although, I will say this, In The Blood constantly tip-toes on a suspension of disbelief line with Ava throughout the movie. Flashbacks show Ava’s tough training sessions with her strict father, and yes, in real life Carano has the MMA credentials, but it’s hard to ignore In The Blood constantly going way over the top to showcase Ava’s deadly combat skills. One scene that sticks out as an example, is Ava trying to fight her way out of the police station, and it takes an entire group of cops to restrain her, and force her to the ground.

As far as the rest of the cast goes, I can’t say too much. Danny Trejo fans shouldn’t get their hopes up too high, because Trejo’s screen time is limited here, and you can say the same thing about Cam Gigandet. If we’re talking about personalities, Trejo plays the powerful hot head, while Gigandet is the loyal husband, and that’s about it. Nolasco’s Silvio is your typical cocky and greedy bad guy, he’s a bully, and that’s about it.

There’s some potential for a feud between Treat Williams’ Robert and Carano’s Ava. To give an example, there’s a scene, where Robert accuses Ava of planning Derek’s disappearance to collect some of the family fortune, and Ava responds to the accusations with a defiant “f*** you.” Robert resented Ava, because he believes she’s nothing more than a junkie and a crazy fraud, who’s trying to take advantage of his son, but Ava is willing to fight and die for Derek, because he saved her from a miserable life. The bitter distrust on Robert’s side, and Ava’s loyalty is believable, but the big problem is the feud never has a chance to develop, because Williams’ screen time is limited, and his character disappears after the visit to the island.

Overall, director John Stockwell’s work behind the camera is hit-and-miss. The editing for Ava and Derek’s honeymoon highlight reel and Ava’s risky bike ride through the city looks and feels clunky and choppy. The hiccups are not enough to drag In The Blood down into the gutter quality wise, but they’re noticeable.

If you’re looking for an artsy and stylish action/crime thriller, In The Blood is not for you. But if you’re looking for some mindless fun action, and hard hitting fight scenes, In The Blood is a satisfying film. Yes, the torture, interrogate, fight, kick ass, and repeat formula during Ava’s “WHERE’S MY HUSBAND?!?!” mission feels repetitive and tedious at times, but Carano consistently delivers a good show throughout In The Blood on the physical side of the film. Again, In The Blood is not a masterpiece, the dialogue sounds rigid and contrived most of the time, and the characters are one-dimensional, but if you’re looking for an entertaining guilty pleasure, it’s worth a try. And the big twist at the at the end is a little far-fetched, but it's a genuine and refreshing surprise. 

As I said before, Gina Carano has a future in the action world. For now, I won’t go as far as using the superstar tag, but she has what it takes to make a real name for herself. Haywire is still Carano’s best starring action role to date, and nothing comes close. It’s true Carano was surrounded by a talented cast in Haywire, and you can say the likes of Fassbender and McGregor helped hide her flaws, but Carano doesn’t need to deliver an Oscar worthy performance. The potential is there, and she can build her career around the persona of a lethal action heroine, but she needs more time and more films to build a more solid résumé.

Rating: 6/10

In The Blood (2014)(Spoiler Review)

**This review contains spoilers**

In 2002, a teenage Ava lives with her father, Casey (Stephen Lang) in a shabby Bridgeport, Conneticut home. As a hardened outlaw, Casey trains his daughter to be a lethal fighting machine with rigorous survival exercises and intense sparring sessions.

One night, a group of thugs invade Casey and Ava’s home. The intruders murder Casey, but Ava turns the tables with a shotgun. Ava murders the remaining thugs to survive the attack, but a callous Ava refuses to shed one tear for her father’s death.

Twelve years later, a reformed Ava (Gina Carano) prepares for her wedding ceremony in Arlington, Virgina. Derek Grant (Cam Gigandet) met Ava at a narcotics  anonymous meeting, and he’s ready to trust and spend the rest of his life with her, but Derek’s wealthy father, Robert (Treat Williams) doesn’t trust Ava and her motvations for marrying Derek. Ava’s troubled past raises a red flag for Robert, and the thought of Ava devising a scheme to marry Derek for a piece of the family fortune is too much to handle, so Mr. Grant pushes Derek to sign a prenuptial agreement. To prove his loyalty to Ava, Derek refuses his father’s request, and he tears the prenup in half to erase any doubts.

After the wedding,  Derek and Ava take a trip to a Caribbean island for their honeymoon, and Derek uses his grandfather’s old house as a vacation home. On the island, Derek and Ava meet a friendly local named Manny (Ismael Cruz Cordova). Manny convinces Derek and Ava to join him for a wild night at a local nightclub. Here, Ava and Derek cross paths with Big Biz (Danny Trejo), a powerful and respected gangster on the island. Big Biz tries to seduce Ava, but Derek intervenes. Ava fights off an assault to protect Derek, and Manny helps the couple escape in a taxi. After the brawl, Big Biz’s rival, Silvio Lugo (Amaury Nolasco) issues a stern warning about disrupting the peaceful and festive environment at the club. 

In the morning, Derek and Ava take a chance on ziplining after a persuasive pitch from Manny. The ziplining instructor JoJo (Oscar H. Guerrero) reassures a nervous Ava, but Derek suffers a nasty leg injury after a potentially fatal fall from faulty equipment on the zipline.

JoJo calls for an ambulance, but Manny disappears. Ava tries to fight her way into the ambulance with Derek, but the paramedics deny Ava’s attempts for insurance concerns. Ava follows the ambulance to the hospital. She loses Derek and the ambulance after a fall, but a friendly local helps Ava with a ride to the hospital.  

At the hospital, Ava runs into an unpleasant surprise, when Leta (Yvette Yates), a receptionist,  can’t find any records of Derek’s name in the system. Ava forces her way through the doors, but after a quick search, it’s clear Derek is not in the hospital.

Ava  turns to the local police for help after an unsuccessful search in every clinic and hospital on the island. Police Chief Ramon Garza (Luis Guzman) is reluctant to help Ava, and after a visit from Derek’s family, Ava takes matters into her own hands to find and rescue Derek. 

Ava suspects a cover up after JoJo completely denies knowing, seeing, and assisting Derek, Ava, and Manny on the zipline. A determined Ava embarks on a bloody and deadly mission to find Manny and the paramedics for more answers, and rescue Derek before it‘s too late. But during the fight to uncover the truth behind the conspiracy, Ava unintentionally brings the bitter feud between Big Biz and Silvio to a dangerous boiling point.

Gina Carano has the tools to carve out a sustainable career for herself, as a recognizable face and name in the action genre. When it comes to sex appeal, she has the perfect balance. You notice Carano’s beauty, but her looks are never the main focus for her character, because she has what it takes to be a physical force. That, or Carano’s character(s) can use her good looks to deceive any adversaries (the bathroom scene on the boat is a good example for In The Blood.), and Carano’s MMA background is no secret, so she can rely on a touch of legitimacy for her film roles.

Carano’s Ava is a no-nonsense fighting machine, and Carano delivers another entertaining performance in her comfort zone here. Carano delivers on the physical side of things, and it’s not limited to the fight scenes. Carano carries herself well with convincing body language and an unflinching demeanor, and she’s decent enough in a few emotional scenes.

Although, I will say this, In The Blood constantly tip-toes on a suspension of disbelief line with Ava throughout the movie. Flashbacks show Ava’s tough training sessions with her strict father, and yes, in real life Carano has the MMA credentials, but it’s hard to ignore In The Blood constantly going way over the top to showcase Ava’s deadly combat skills. One scene that sticks out as an example, is Ava trying to fight her way out of the police station, and it takes an entire group of cops to restrain her, and force her to the ground.

As far as the rest of the cast goes, I can’t say too much. Danny Trejo fans shouldn’t get their hopes up too high, because Trejo’s screen time is limited here, and you can say the same thing about Cam Gigandet. If we’re talking about personalities, Trejo plays the powerful hot head, while Gigandet is the loyal husband, and that’s about it. Nolasco’s Silvio is your typical cocky and greedy bad guy, he’s a bully, and that’s about it.

There’s some potential for a feud between Treat Williams’ Robert and Carano’s Ava. To give an example, there’s a scene, where Robert accuses Ava of planning Derek’s disappearance to collect some of the family fortune, and Ava responds to the accusations with a defiant “f*** you.” Robert resented Ava, because he believes she’s nothing more than a junkie and a crazy fraud, who’s trying to take advantage of his son, but Ava is willing to fight and die for Derek, because he saved her from a miserable life. The bitter distrust on Robert’s side, and Ava’s loyalty is believable, but the big problem is the feud never has a chance to develop, because Williams’ screen time is limited, and his character disappears after the visit to the island.

So what happened to Derek? Was it a kidnapping? Are the kidnappers asking for a ransom? Is he dead? Well, after torturing him in the night club at a bathroom, Ava forces a reluctant Manny to help her find Derek and his kidnappers. To add to that, the two paramedics played a part in Derek’s disappearance.

Eventually, Ava escapes police custody twice, she foils a last second execution attempt, and after a chat with Chief Garza, Ava learns the truth about Derek’s disappearance: Derek died on the operating table during a botched surgery, and Chief Garza played a part in covering up the death as a favor to the doctor. An enraged Ava gives Chief Garza a choice for his death. Ava gives Garza the choice of a box cutter or a gun, and Garza chooses the cutter, because he doesn’t want to startle  his sleeping daughter.

But wait a minute! It’s not over yet. Ava wants to “finish” her mission, so she infiltrates the hospital. Ava kills the receptionist (Leta), who lied to her earlier in the film, and she tortures the doctor, who performed the surgery on Derek  for more answers….and Ava witnesses a shocking revelation, when she spots a wheelchair-bound  Derek entering the hospital with Silvio and his men.

Silvio suffers from a rare type of cancer, and he needs stem cell transfusions for bone marrow. Derek is a perfect match, and Silvio constantly uses Derek as a reliable source to prolong his life.

Using a doctor’s outfit as a disguise, Ava rescues Derek from the hospital, but a wounded and drugged Silvio (Ava sabotaged Silvio’s IV at the hospital) chases Ava and Derek through the island with help from his crew and a few locals. Manny helps Derek and Ava hide, but Silvio and his gang trap Ava and Derek in Manny’s neighborhood. Derek and Ava systemically eliminate Silvio’s gang, and Ava faces Silvio in a one on one fight.

During the fight, Ava turns the tables on Silvio, and she holds a knife to his throat. The neighborhood cheers for Silvio’s death, but Big Biz interrupts the fight. Ava reluctantly gives the knife to Big Biz, and Biz uses the knife to murder Silvio. Why did Biz murder Silvio? Silvio was bad for business. The deaths of two Americans would hurt the island from a financial standpoint, and Biz wasn’t happy about the idea of Silvio risking his way of life (i.e. money from American men paying for his prostitutes, gambling, etc.). Biz reclaims his spot as the dominant force on the island, and he allows Derek and Ava to leave. To end the movie, Derek and Ava say their good-byes to Manny, and they leave the island together for the long trip home.

No real complaints about the big showdown between Silvio and Ava, and a few extra bonus points for the “Derek is still alive” twist. It’s a genuine surprise, because after Graza’s confession, you had to believe Derek was gone for good. Also, I’m glad they avoided a clichéd “islanders kidnap wealthy Americans for profit in an underground operation” twist. Silvio’s cancer revelation and Silvio using Derek to stay alive is a little far-fetched, but it’s nice to see an action/crime thriller take a chance on something different.

Overall, director John Stockwell’s work behind the camera is hit-and-miss. The editing for Ava and Derek’s honeymoon highlight reel and Ava’s risky bike ride through the city looks and feels clunky and choppy. The hiccups are not enough to drag In The Blood down into the gutter quality wise, but they’re noticeable.

If you’re looking for an artsy and stylish action/crime thriller, In The Blood is not for you. But if you’re looking for some mindless fun action, and hard hitting fight scenes, In The Blood is a satisfying film. Yes, the torture, interrogate, fight, kick ass, and repeat formula during Ava’s “WHERE’S MY HUSBAND?!?!” mission feels repetitive and tedious at times, but Carano consistently delivers a good show throughout In The Blood on the physical side of the film. Again, In The Blood is not a masterpiece, the dialogue sounds rigid and contrived most of the time, and the characters are one-dimensional, but if you’re looking for an entertaining guilty pleasure, it’s worth a try.

As I said before, Gina Carano has a future in the action world. For now, I won’t go as far as using the superstar tag, but she has what it takes to make a real name for herself. Haywire is still Carano’s best starring action role to date, and nothing comes close. It’s true Carano was surrounded by a talented cast in Haywire, and you can say the likes of Fassbender and McGregor helped hide her flaws, but Carano doesn’t need to deliver an Oscar worthy performance. The potential is there, and she can build her career around the persona of a lethal action heroine, but she needs more time and more films to build a more solid résumé.

Rating: 6/10

Machete Kills (2013)(Minor Spoilers Review)

**This review contains MINOR spoilers, no big reveals, character deaths, or plot twists**

Following the events of Machete, Machete Cortez (Danny Trejo) works with Sartana Rivera (Jessica Alba) to stop Mexican drug cartels. Machete and Sartana are caught in the middle of a cross fire during an illegal arms deal between a group of rogue US militarily soldiers and a dangerous Mexican cartel. While Machete dives head first into the chaos, slicing the enemy into pieces with his trusted machete one by one, Sartana accidentally catches a forbidden view of a doomsday weapon……

With his back against the wall, Machete accepts a mission from US President Rathcock (Carlos Estevez), and with help from his trusted friend, Luz (Michelle Rodriguez) and her underground network, Machete prepares himself for the worst. And Machete will have to put aside bitter feelings for Luz’s new recruit, Osiris Amanapur (Tom Savini), the same man, who assisted Michael Booth in murdering his brother, Padre.

Machete’s mission?  With an escort from his personal bodyguard, Zaror (Marko Zaror) Machete must infiltrate Marco Mendez’s (Demian Bichir) island to thwart Mendez’s planned missile launch against the US. But fighting one delusional visionary takes a backseat to a bigger problem, when Machete stumbles into the lair of a wealthy mad man, who’s also an obsessive Star Wars fan. Luther Voz (Mel Gibson) tempts Machete with a once in a lifetime offer, forcing Machete to showcase his “skills” for Voz during a demonstration with clones.

During his missions, Machete evades relentless attacks from a precise and crafty assassin named El Camaleon (Walton Goggins, Cuba Gooding, Jr., Lady Gaga, and Antonio Banderas), Sheriff Doakes (William Sadler), a vindictive madam named Madame Desdemona (Sofia Vergara), and a select group of Desdemona’s finest, including, KillJoy (Alexa Vega). Machete works with Blanca (Amber Heard), an undercover agent working in San Antiono, using the cover of a beauty pageant queen, to stop Voz and Mendez’s plans for destruction, and Machete receives an important tip from Cereza (Vanessa Hudgens). But the situation becomes more complex, when Voz reveals his big master plan…….

Danny Trejo delivers another entertaining performance in the leading role, as the grizzled tough guy, who dances to the beat of his own drum (“Machete don’t tweet!”). Carlos Estevez (or Charlie Sheen) is decent enough, but his character is limited to sporadic appearances here. Sofia Vergara’s is good for some laughs, as this sadistic and psychotic madam, who hates men. Heard fits the sultry vixen character like a glove, and Rodriguez is consistent as always, portraying the tough and unflinching hellcat. Vanessa Hudgens and Jessica Alba? I hate to be the one to burst your bubble, but don’t get your hopes up too high for seeing a significant amount of screen time from both of them.

Gibson has his moments as this nutty and maniacal tyrant, who’s an obsessive Star Wars fan, and Bichir’s schizophrenic performance isn’t bad. Mendez suffers from a split personality disorder, bouncing back and forth between a man, who wants to do the right thing, and an evil mad man, who’s hell bent on destroying the US. The El Camaleon character changes his face and persona after each murder (or set of murders). First, you’ll see Walton Goggins, Cuba Gooding, Jr. is next, then Lady Gaga, and Antonio Banderas is the last face of El Camaleon. El Camaleon shedding his last persona for a new one, while constantly changing faces was a cool trick, but I have a message for Gaga fans, don’t expect too much out of her here. Gaga’s screen time as a face of El Camaleon is short, and  if you blink, there’s a chance you’ll miss her. Although, Gaga has a short one-liner that brought a little chuckle out of me during a chase scene with Machete: “Hola mother f*****!”

Machete Kills is a more polished film than Machete with a more refined story, and a few unexpected twists and turns. Bottom line, if you enjoyed Machete, you should enjoy Machete Kills, because there’s enough blood and violent carnage to fulfill expectations of chaotic and brutal mayhem for grindhouse fans. Machete Kills is another enjoyable comedy exploitation action film in the Machete series, and with all the cliffhangers and teasing at the end, Machete has more than enough fuel to fight another day, and more importantly, the story has more room to grow.

Rating: 7/10

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As the world's definitive multi-talented superstar athlete, Trisha Bunrastar is taking an unexpected and shocking leap into a new career path. Assuming the identity of Freechelle Fantabulous, Trisha vows to fight crime and battle evildoers as a superheroine. Will she conquer her new mission? Find out more here! http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFLI6VK

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Machete Kills (2013)(Spoiler Review)

**This review contains spoilers**

Following the events of Machete, Machete Cortez (Danny Trejo) works with Sartana Rivera (Jessica Alba) to stop Mexican drug cartels. Machete and Sartana are caught in the middle of a cross fire during an illegal arms deal between a group of rogue US militarily soldiers and a dangerous Mexican cartel. While Machete dives head first into the chaos, slicing the enemy into pieces with his trusted machete one by one, Sartana accidentally catches a forbidden view of a doomsday weapon. Suddenly, a masked man appears to shoot Sartana in the forehead with a high tech weapon, leaving a helpless Machete alone with Sartana’s corpse.

With a limited number of options in front of him, Machete is forced to accept a mission from President Rathcock (Carlos Estevez): Machete must hunt and kill Marcos Mendez (Demian Bichir), a delusional visionary, who threatens to attack the United States with a nuclear missile. Machete reaches out to a one-eyed Luz/She (Michelle Rodriguez) and her underground network for help, and Machete will have to put aside bitter feelings for Luz’s new recruit, Osiris Amanpour (Tom Savini), the same man, who assisted Michael Booth in murdering his brother, Padre. Machete is able to gather more intel from Cereza (Vanessa Hudgens), a young woman confined to a brothel, and Cereza is one of Mendez’s favorites. And Machete works with Blanca (Amber Heard), an undercover agent, who uses the persona of a beauty pageant queen in San Antonio as her cover, but Blanca is hiding a dangerous secret underneath her good looks.

On Mendez’s personal island in Mexico, Machete fights through hordes of security, including Mendez’s seemingly invincible bodyguard, Zaror (Marko Zaror). Here, Machete learns another devastating secret about the missile: the timer for the missile is linked to Mendez’s heart rate, and while Machete roughly escorts Mendez off the island, Mendez activates the timer.

With Mendez as his hostage, Machete becomes a marked man with a large bounty. A precise and crafty assassin named El Camaleon (Walton Goggins, Cuba Gooding, Jr., Lady Gaga, and Antonio Banderas) purses Machete for the bounty, Sheriff Doakes (William Sadler) sees an opportunity to cash in, and for revenge, Madame Desdemona (Sofia Vergara), the mother of Cereza and the leader of the brothel, vows to avenge Cereza’s death with the help of  KillJoy (Alexa Vega) and other women in her brothel.

But Machete’s mission takes an awkward turn, when he discovers the real mastermind behind Mendez: Luther Voz (Mel Gibson) is the wealthy tycoon, who supplied Mendez with his weapons, and using his vast fortune and resources, Voz created a set of boogeyman for the US to fear in various countries throughout the world. Machete has one chance to stop Voz before he completes a mission into space, and time is running out, as Mendez’s preserved heart thumps to the countdown of a deadly missile launch.

Danny Trejo delivers another entertaining performance in the leading role, as the grizzled tough guy, who dances to the beat of his own drum (“Machete don’t tweet!”). Carlos Estevez (or Charlie Sheen) is decent enough, but his character is limited to sporadic appearances here. Sofia Vergara’s is good for some laughs, as this sadistic and psychotic madam, who hates men. Heard fits the sultry vixen character like a glove, and Rodriguez is consistent as always, portraying the tough and unflinching hellcat. Vanessa Hudgens and Jessica Alba? Don’t get your hopes up too high for seeing a significant amount of screen time from both of them. Alba’s character is killed off in the first five minutes of the movie, and a handful of minutes after her first appearance, Hudgens is killed off before Machete’s trip to Mendez’s island, so it’s not fair to judge either performance (or lack there of).

Gibson has his moments as this nutty and maniacal tyrant, who’s an obsessive Star Wars fan, and Bichir’s schizophrenic performance isn’t bad. Mendez suffers from a split personality disorder, bouncing back and forth between a man, who wants to do the right thing, and an evil mad man, who’s hell bent on destroying the US. The El Camaleon character changes his face and persona after each murder (or set of murders). First, you’ll see Walton Goggins, Cuba Gooding, Jr. is next, then Lady Gaga, and Antonio Banderas is the last face of El Camaleon. El Camaleon shedding his last persona for a new one, while constantly changing faces was a cool trick, but I have a message for Gaga fans, don’t expect too much out of her here. Gaga’s screen time as a face of El Camaleon is short, and  if you blink, there’s a chance you’ll miss her. Although, Gaga has a short one-liner that brought a little chuckle out of me during a chase scene with Machete: “Hola mother f*****!”

Machete Kills starts off with a mock trailer for Machete Kills Again….In Space! Machete (in a space suit) is wielding this hybrid machete/lightsaber, and he’s fighting a Darth Vader-esque villain in an iron mask on a space station. Michelle Rodriguez looks like a Terminator, and the trailer jokingly mentions Leonardo DiCaprio as the man, who’s a possible candidate to portray the villain in the iron mask. Well, guess what, the ending for Machete Kills leads into the trailer at the beginning.

How did we get here you ask? Well, after a lengthy battle with Voz, Machete severely burns Voz’s face with a corrosive liquid, forcing Voz to wear a metallic mask. Blanca reveals herself as a spy for Voz, and during a fight with Luz/She, Blanca permanently blinds Luz. Voz takes a select group of volunteers for a ride on his space station to start a new life in space, and Luz is trapped on the space station. Motivated by revenge, Machete accepts President Rathcock’s mission to go into space, kill Voz, and rescue Luz.

I LOVED this cliffhanger, because it’s the type of cliffhanger that leaves you wanting more for the next film. Machete goes into space to avenge Sartana’s death, and I’m assuming, Machete’s going to rescue the new love (Luz) in his life. A good move for a number of reasons. For starters, they’re going to unleash Machete in a new playground. It’s a good move, because Machete bouncing back and forth between bad guys in Mexico and Texas for a third or fourth film would feel too stale, tiresome, and redundant. Second, the cliffhanger establishes Voz as a real threat, because Machete wasn’t able to finish him off so easily. And this ties in with my first point, but the story progresses into a new environment, so we’re not going in circles with the Mexico/Texas stuff over and over again.

Machete Kills is a more polished film than Machete with a more refined story, and a few unexpected twists and turns. Bottom line, if you enjoyed Machete, you should enjoy Machete Kills, because there’s enough blood and violent carnage to fulfill expectations of chaotic and brutal mayhem for grindhouse fans. Machete Kills is another enjoyable comedy exploitation action film in the Machete series, and with all the cliffhangers and teasing at the end, Machete has more than enough fuel to fight another day, and more importantly, the story has more room to grow.

Rating: 7/10

Michael Jordan had another run with the Wizards after winning six championships. Brett Favre was one step away from earning a second ring with the Vikings.

As the world's definitive multi-talented superstar athlete, Trisha Bunrastar is taking an unexpected and shocking leap into a new career path. Assuming the identity of Freechelle Fantabulous, Trisha vows to fight crime and battle evildoers as a superheroine. Will she conquer her new mission? Find out more here! http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFLI6VK

Or take a trip into my special world of madness that includes comedy, horror, and the supernatural in this collection of short stories- http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFMYZ0U

And remember Amazon offers free Kindle App downloads for various platforms. Follow this link to find out more- http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html?ie=UTF8&docId=1000493771

Follow me on Twitter here- https://twitter.com/LQuigleyFan1

And don't forget to like both of my Facebook pages, because the Mitch MacReady 2 Facebook page includes quotes from both ebooks that can't fit into Tweets- https://www.facebook.com/mitch.macready

Machete (2010)(Minor Spoilers Review)

**This review contains MINOR spoilers, no character deaths, plot twists, or big reveals**

Wandering the streets of Texas, an ex-Federale name Machete Cortez (Danny Trejo) is forced into accepting a $150,000 offer from Michael Booth (Jeff Fahey). Booth orders Machete to assassinate Senator John McLaughlin (Robert De Niro), a racist politician, but one shot from Sniper (Shea Whigham) wounds Machete before he can pull the trigger.

Machete is the prime suspect in Senator McLaughlin’s shooting. With no one else to turn to, Machete seeks help from his brother/priest Padre (Cheech Marin), and Luz (Michelle Rodriguez), the leader of a strong underground movement to help illegal immigrants with legit papers and jobs. Machete has some fun with Booth’s wife, June (Alicia Marek) and his daughter, April (Lindsay Lohan), but Machete runs into some unexpected trouble, when he crosses paths with Sartana Rivera (Jessica Alba), a no nonsense US Immigration and Customs Enforcement agent.

Machete’s quest for the truth leads him to a confrontation with an old nemesis named Rogelio Torrez (Steven Seagal), a ruthless drug kingpin, and a final showdown with every evildoer in Texas, including Von Jackson (Don Johnson), a sadistic leader of border patrol vigilantes, and a trusted friend of Senator McLaughlin.


Danny Trejo slices and hacks his way to an enjoyable performance as Machete, and Trejo is good for a few laughs with some hilarious one-liners including “Machete don’t text” or “This is the boss” (referring to his trusted machete). Trejo is a riot in the leading role, and he’s surrounded by a rock solid supporting cast.

De Niro is a detestable phony and racist politician, Fahey a nice fit for the ruthless killer with no mercy, and Don Johnson isn’t bad, but he’s overshadowed by De Niro and Fahey for the antagonist side of Machete. Seagal? I have no major gripes about the quality of his performance, and technically, Seagal is the primary antagonist, but Torrez’s screen time is cut short here. You won’t see She until the final battle, but Rodriguez stays within her niche, as a tough and combative fighter for another consistent performance. And Jessica Alba is harmless as Sartana.

After the mock trailer for Machete, I only had one thought on my mind: “Yeah, there’s no way this could work as a full length feature film.” The fake trailer was good for a few cheap laughs, but I still had my doubts. Well, I was wrong. Machete is a cartoonish and screwy romp of brutal over the top violence, and this action-comedy exploitation adventure is loaded with some good laughs, hilarious one-liners, and tons of gleeful bloody gore. Machete is packed with endless amounts of fun, and with more time, it wouldn’t surprise me if Machete developed a stronger following as a true cult classic.

Rating: 6/10

Michael Jordan had another run with the Wizards after winning six championships. Brett Favre was one step away from earning a second ring with the Vikings.

As the world's definitive multi-talented superstar athlete, Trisha Bunrastar is taking an unexpected and shocking leap into a new career path. Assuming the identity of Freechelle Fantabulous, Trisha vows to fight crime and battle evildoers as a superheroine. Will she conquer her new mission? Find out more here! http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFLI6VK

Or take a trip into my special world of madness that includes comedy, horror, and the supernatural in this collection of short stories- http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFMYZ0U

And remember Amazon offers free Kindle App downloads for various platforms. Follow this link to find out more- http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html?ie=UTF8&docId=1000493771

Follow me on Twitter here- https://twitter.com/LQuigleyFan1

And don't forget to like both of my Facebook pages, because the Mitch MacReady 2 Facebook page includes quotes from both ebooks that can't fit into Tweets- https://www.facebook.com/mitch.macready

Machete (2010)(Spoiler Review)

**This review contains spoilers**

Betrayed by the system he believed in, an ex-Federale named Machete Cortez (Danny Trejo) wanders the streets of Texas looking for construction work on a daily basis. Machete receives support from Luz (Michelle Rodriguez), the leader of a strong underground movement to help illegal immigrants with legit papers and jobs. Luz uses her taco stand for cover, but Luz and Machete are under the watchful eye of Sartana Rivera (Jessica Alba), a no nonsense US Immigration and Customs Enforcement agent.

One day, Machete is forced into accepting an assassination job from Michael Booth (Jeff Fahey) worth $150,000. Under Booth’s orders, Machete must kill Senator John McLaughlin (Robert De Niro), a racist politician, during one of his speeches. Before Machete has a chance to pull he trigger, Booth’s top henchman, Sniper (Shea Whigham) shoots Machete, and as a maimed Machete limps away, Sniper shoots Senator McLaughlin in one of his legs.

After taking some time to heal at Luz‘s house, Machete learns the truth: Booth is Senator McLaughlin’s right hand man. Booth double crossed Machete, because McLaughlin’s failing campaign needed a boost, so Machete was chosen as a fall guy to provide a living example for the threat of dangerous illegal immigrants. Machete works with Luz and Sartana to put a stop to Booth, McLaughlin, and Von Jackson (Don Johnson), a sadistic leader of border patrol vigilantes, and a trusted friend of Senator McLaughlin.

Machete reaches out to his brother/priest Padre (Cheech Marin), and for revenge, Machete invades Booth’s home to surprise his wife, June (Alicia Marek) and his daughter, April (Lindsay Lohan). But Booth recruit’s Osiris Amanpour (Tom Savini), a popular hitman, to teach Machete an unforgettable lesson.

 Machete’s investigation reveals a plot to control the border between Mexico and Texas for Rogelio Torrez (Steven Seagal), a ruthless drug kingpin, and Torrez is the same man, who beheaded Machete’s  wife. With help from Sartana, Luz’s alter ego, She, and others, Machete leads an all-out assault to eliminate Senator McLaughlin, Von, and Machete will stand face to face with Torrez for a fight to the death.

Danny Trejo slices and hacks his way to an enjoyable performance as Machete, and Trejo is good for a few laughs with some hilarious one-liners including “Machete don’t text” or “This is the boss” (referring to his trusted machete). Trejo is a riot in the leading role, and he’s surrounded by a rock solid supporting cast.

De Niro is a detestable phony and racist politician, Fahey a nice fit for the ruthless killer with no mercy, and Don Johnson isn’t bad, but he’s overshadowed by De Niro and Fahey for the antagonist side of Machete. Seagal? I have no major gripes about the quality of his performance, and technically, Seagal is the primary antagonist, but Torrez’s screen time is cut short here. After the intro, Seagal doesn’t make another physical appearance until the big battle at the end, because Torrez only appears in sporadic video chats with Booth throughout the movie. You won’t see She until the final battle, but Rodriguez stays within her niche, as a tough and combative fighter for another consistent performance. And Jessica Alba is harmless as Sartana.

After the mock trailer for Machete, I only had one thought on my mind: “Yeah, there’s no way this could work as a full length feature film.” The fake trailer was good for a few cheap laughs, but I still had my doubts. Well, I was wrong. Machete is a cartoonish and screwy romp of brutal over the top violence, and this action-comedy exploitation adventure is loaded with some good laughs, hilarious one-liners, and tons of gleeful bloody gore. Machete is packed with endless amounts of fun, and with more time, it wouldn’t surprise me if Machete developed a stronger following as a true cult classic.

Rating: 6/10

Michael Jordan had another run with the Wizards after winning six championships. Brett Favre was one step away from earning a second ring with the Vikings.

As the world's definitive multi-talented superstar athlete, Trisha Bunrastar is taking an unexpected and shocking leap into a new career path. Assuming the identity of Freechelle Fantabulous, Trisha vows to fight crime and battle evildoers as a superheroine. Will she conquer her new mission? Find out more here! http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFLI6VK

Or take a trip into my special world of madness that includes comedy, horror, and the supernatural in this collection of short stories- http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFMYZ0U

And remember Amazon offers free Kindle App downloads for various platforms. Follow this link to find out more- http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html?ie=UTF8&docId=1000493771

Follow me on Twitter here- https://twitter.com/LQuigleyFan1

And don't forget to like both of my Facebook pages, because the Mitch MacReady 2 Facebook page includes quotes from both ebooks that can't fit into Tweets- https://www.facebook.com/mitch.macready

Predators (2010)

**This review contains spoilers**

Abducted and dropped onto the Predator’s alien planet, soldiers, a mercenary, enforcers, a death row inmate, and a doctor are forced to fight for their lives. Taking on the role of a leader, Royce (Adrien Brody) commands the group of Isabelle (Alice Braga), Stans (Walton Goggins), Hanzo (Louis Ozawa Changchien), Nikolai (Oleg Taktarov), Mombasa (Mahershalalhashbaz Ali), Cuchillo (Danny Trejo), and Edwin (Topher Grace).

After an attack from alien dogs, Royce figures out the puzzle of the kidnapping: everyone brought to the alien planet is live bait for the Predators to hunt and kill in a deadly game. The survivors eventually learn more about the blood feud between the bigger Predators and smaller Predators from a survivor of “ten seasons” named Noland (Laurence Fishburne). Royce tries to figure out a way to escape after Noland mentions a ship, but Royce is forced to use his grenade launcher to signal the Predators for help, when Noland reveals himself as a scavenger.

Adrien Brody is a competent leading man, while Topher Grace and Walton Goggins provide some great comic relief. Rest of the cast ranges from so-so to decent, but nobody is noticeably bad here. Laurence Fishburne’s appearance is limited to cameo status, but Fishburne is hilarious, as the paranoid and insane recluse, who talks to an imaginary friend.

Some people might think of Predators as a stand-alone film in the franchise, but it’s actually a sequel. Remember when Royce pushes Isabelle to tell the truth about the Predator tied up at the campsite? Isabelle recalls Dutch’s (Arnold) report of what he saw during his first and only encounter with a Predator.

Mentioning the 1987 original confirms Predators’ status as a sequel, and it’s a cool “remember that!” moment for fans of the franchise. They also reintroduce the gruesome “ripping the spine and skull from the back, and raising it in the air like a trophy” kill with Stans’ death. Plus, using themes and music from the original Predator is a great nostalgia touch.

Nimord Antal (the director) and the writers, Alex Livtak and Michael Finch do a good job of introducing their new vision for the Predator franchise, while paying homage to the 1987 original (I’d like to forget Predator 2 ever happened, and I’m glad they ignored it here). The final duel between Royce and the big Predator is reminiscent of  Dutch’s battle with the Predator, with Royce covering himself in mud to block the Predator’s heat sensors. And Hanzo’s one on one blade to blade duel with the Predator in the open field reminds me of Billy’s stand against the Predator in the ‘87 film. Billy was tired of running, and just said to hell with it, come and get me. Hanzo pretty much did the same thing after everyone else ran from Noland’s hideout. Hanzo stopped, took off his shirt, turned around, and drew his sword for the battle.

Predators is a breath of fresh air, that pays homage to the original, and gives Predator fans some hope for the future. A lot of bloody and gory action sequences with a hard hitting and nasty final battle between Royce and the large Predator. And I LOVE the twist with Topher Grace turning on Isabelle at the end, and revealing himself as a cold-blooded murderer. Truly a shock, and the twist made Grace’s character look like a real weasel after he played the innocent wimp, and Isabelle risked her life to save his.

Rating: 7/10