Machete (2010)(Minor Spoilers Review)

**This review contains MINOR spoilers, no character deaths, plot twists, or big reveals**

Wandering the streets of Texas, an ex-Federale name Machete Cortez (Danny Trejo) is forced into accepting a $150,000 offer from Michael Booth (Jeff Fahey). Booth orders Machete to assassinate Senator John McLaughlin (Robert De Niro), a racist politician, but one shot from Sniper (Shea Whigham) wounds Machete before he can pull the trigger.

Machete is the prime suspect in Senator McLaughlin’s shooting. With no one else to turn to, Machete seeks help from his brother/priest Padre (Cheech Marin), and Luz (Michelle Rodriguez), the leader of a strong underground movement to help illegal immigrants with legit papers and jobs. Machete has some fun with Booth’s wife, June (Alicia Marek) and his daughter, April (Lindsay Lohan), but Machete runs into some unexpected trouble, when he crosses paths with Sartana Rivera (Jessica Alba), a no nonsense US Immigration and Customs Enforcement agent.

Machete’s quest for the truth leads him to a confrontation with an old nemesis named Rogelio Torrez (Steven Seagal), a ruthless drug kingpin, and a final showdown with every evildoer in Texas, including Von Jackson (Don Johnson), a sadistic leader of border patrol vigilantes, and a trusted friend of Senator McLaughlin.


Danny Trejo slices and hacks his way to an enjoyable performance as Machete, and Trejo is good for a few laughs with some hilarious one-liners including “Machete don’t text” or “This is the boss” (referring to his trusted machete). Trejo is a riot in the leading role, and he’s surrounded by a rock solid supporting cast.

De Niro is a detestable phony and racist politician, Fahey a nice fit for the ruthless killer with no mercy, and Don Johnson isn’t bad, but he’s overshadowed by De Niro and Fahey for the antagonist side of Machete. Seagal? I have no major gripes about the quality of his performance, and technically, Seagal is the primary antagonist, but Torrez’s screen time is cut short here. You won’t see She until the final battle, but Rodriguez stays within her niche, as a tough and combative fighter for another consistent performance. And Jessica Alba is harmless as Sartana.

After the mock trailer for Machete, I only had one thought on my mind: “Yeah, there’s no way this could work as a full length feature film.” The fake trailer was good for a few cheap laughs, but I still had my doubts. Well, I was wrong. Machete is a cartoonish and screwy romp of brutal over the top violence, and this action-comedy exploitation adventure is loaded with some good laughs, hilarious one-liners, and tons of gleeful bloody gore. Machete is packed with endless amounts of fun, and with more time, it wouldn’t surprise me if Machete developed a stronger following as a true cult classic.

Rating: 6/10

Michael Jordan had another run with the Wizards after winning six championships. Brett Favre was one step away from earning a second ring with the Vikings.

As the world's definitive multi-talented superstar athlete, Trisha Bunrastar is taking an unexpected and shocking leap into a new career path. Assuming the identity of Freechelle Fantabulous, Trisha vows to fight crime and battle evildoers as a superheroine. Will she conquer her new mission? Find out more here! http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFLI6VK

Or take a trip into my special world of madness that includes comedy, horror, and the supernatural in this collection of short stories- http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFMYZ0U

And remember Amazon offers free Kindle App downloads for various platforms. Follow this link to find out more- http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html?ie=UTF8&docId=1000493771

Follow me on Twitter here- https://twitter.com/LQuigleyFan1

And don't forget to like both of my Facebook pages, because the Mitch MacReady 2 Facebook page includes quotes from both ebooks that can't fit into Tweets- https://www.facebook.com/mitch.macready

Machete (2010)(Spoiler Review)

**This review contains spoilers**

Betrayed by the system he believed in, an ex-Federale named Machete Cortez (Danny Trejo) wanders the streets of Texas looking for construction work on a daily basis. Machete receives support from Luz (Michelle Rodriguez), the leader of a strong underground movement to help illegal immigrants with legit papers and jobs. Luz uses her taco stand for cover, but Luz and Machete are under the watchful eye of Sartana Rivera (Jessica Alba), a no nonsense US Immigration and Customs Enforcement agent.

One day, Machete is forced into accepting an assassination job from Michael Booth (Jeff Fahey) worth $150,000. Under Booth’s orders, Machete must kill Senator John McLaughlin (Robert De Niro), a racist politician, during one of his speeches. Before Machete has a chance to pull he trigger, Booth’s top henchman, Sniper (Shea Whigham) shoots Machete, and as a maimed Machete limps away, Sniper shoots Senator McLaughlin in one of his legs.

After taking some time to heal at Luz‘s house, Machete learns the truth: Booth is Senator McLaughlin’s right hand man. Booth double crossed Machete, because McLaughlin’s failing campaign needed a boost, so Machete was chosen as a fall guy to provide a living example for the threat of dangerous illegal immigrants. Machete works with Luz and Sartana to put a stop to Booth, McLaughlin, and Von Jackson (Don Johnson), a sadistic leader of border patrol vigilantes, and a trusted friend of Senator McLaughlin.

Machete reaches out to his brother/priest Padre (Cheech Marin), and for revenge, Machete invades Booth’s home to surprise his wife, June (Alicia Marek) and his daughter, April (Lindsay Lohan). But Booth recruit’s Osiris Amanpour (Tom Savini), a popular hitman, to teach Machete an unforgettable lesson.

 Machete’s investigation reveals a plot to control the border between Mexico and Texas for Rogelio Torrez (Steven Seagal), a ruthless drug kingpin, and Torrez is the same man, who beheaded Machete’s  wife. With help from Sartana, Luz’s alter ego, She, and others, Machete leads an all-out assault to eliminate Senator McLaughlin, Von, and Machete will stand face to face with Torrez for a fight to the death.

Danny Trejo slices and hacks his way to an enjoyable performance as Machete, and Trejo is good for a few laughs with some hilarious one-liners including “Machete don’t text” or “This is the boss” (referring to his trusted machete). Trejo is a riot in the leading role, and he’s surrounded by a rock solid supporting cast.

De Niro is a detestable phony and racist politician, Fahey a nice fit for the ruthless killer with no mercy, and Don Johnson isn’t bad, but he’s overshadowed by De Niro and Fahey for the antagonist side of Machete. Seagal? I have no major gripes about the quality of his performance, and technically, Seagal is the primary antagonist, but Torrez’s screen time is cut short here. After the intro, Seagal doesn’t make another physical appearance until the big battle at the end, because Torrez only appears in sporadic video chats with Booth throughout the movie. You won’t see She until the final battle, but Rodriguez stays within her niche, as a tough and combative fighter for another consistent performance. And Jessica Alba is harmless as Sartana.

After the mock trailer for Machete, I only had one thought on my mind: “Yeah, there’s no way this could work as a full length feature film.” The fake trailer was good for a few cheap laughs, but I still had my doubts. Well, I was wrong. Machete is a cartoonish and screwy romp of brutal over the top violence, and this action-comedy exploitation adventure is loaded with some good laughs, hilarious one-liners, and tons of gleeful bloody gore. Machete is packed with endless amounts of fun, and with more time, it wouldn’t surprise me if Machete developed a stronger following as a true cult classic.

Rating: 6/10

Michael Jordan had another run with the Wizards after winning six championships. Brett Favre was one step away from earning a second ring with the Vikings.

As the world's definitive multi-talented superstar athlete, Trisha Bunrastar is taking an unexpected and shocking leap into a new career path. Assuming the identity of Freechelle Fantabulous, Trisha vows to fight crime and battle evildoers as a superheroine. Will she conquer her new mission? Find out more here! http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFLI6VK

Or take a trip into my special world of madness that includes comedy, horror, and the supernatural in this collection of short stories- http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFMYZ0U

And remember Amazon offers free Kindle App downloads for various platforms. Follow this link to find out more- http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html?ie=UTF8&docId=1000493771

Follow me on Twitter here- https://twitter.com/LQuigleyFan1

And don't forget to like both of my Facebook pages, because the Mitch MacReady 2 Facebook page includes quotes from both ebooks that can't fit into Tweets- https://www.facebook.com/mitch.macready

Django Unchained (2012)

So after three years of waiting for his next film, I FINALLY watched Django Unchained last night.

As expected, the acting was just phenomenal, and Tarantino is a master of assembling the perfect cast. Jamie Foxx really nailed Django, and yes, he was believable as a bad ass. The whipping scars and his scruffy hair-do helped pull everything together, but Foxx really put his heart and soul into this character. Christoph Waltz's performance as Dr. King Schultz resembled Hans Landa from Inglorious Basterds. You know, the devious and sophisticated gentlemen with a nasty side. Of course, Schultz is one of the good guys here. And she doesn't speak too much, but Kerry Washington did a wonderful job of using her body language to express fear and anxiety through a series of facial expressions.

The Brittle Brothers and Big Daddy (Don Johnson) don't last long, but when their characters appear, Leo and Sam Jackson make up for the void of lost bad guys. Sam Jackson didn't just deliver his best performance in a Quentin Tarantino film, this is the best performance I've seen from him in any film. Stephen is the sniveling and loyal house for slave for Calvin Candie (Leo). He's they type of antagonist that you can hate and pity, and Stephen provides a few laughs every now and then.

And Leonardo DiCaprio was just fantastic as Calvin Candie. Candie is the merciless and powerful slave owner. Leo has a strong presence on screen, as this delightfully evil slave owner, and his intense and charismatic performance is so fun to watch. Plus, the woman, who plays Calvin's ditzy and snobbish sister (can't find her name) deserves some credit for the A+ cast of antagonists.

For me, Django was an upgrade over Inglorious Basterds. I won't put it up on the pedestal with Pulp Fiction and Reservoir Dogs. It's in the pack with Kill Bill Vol. 1 and Jackie Brown, and that's not bad at all. Tarantino didn't revolutionize the Western genre with this film, but Django is an enjoyable revenge flick.

And now it's time for my major gripe with this film. I don't know about everyone else, but I hard time getting into the mentorship/training storyline with Django and Schultz. I understand the reasons behind Tarantino wanting to show Django's road to being a bad ass, but the initial storyline between Schultz and Django just drags and drags, and truth be told, it's very uninteresting at times. It wasn't unbearably bad, but Django Unchained doesn't kick into high gear until Candie and Stephen come into the picture.

Django Unchained is brutal, bloody, violent, funny, and Tarantino spares no expense for the hard to watch moments in this film. The dialogue is sharp, and the "we can't see anything through these masks!" scene with Jonah Hill, and Don Johnson is hilarious. And Tarantino's cameo is just priceless. Although, I wish I could've seen more of Walton Goggins, because he doesn't appear until the end.

Also, as far as the music goes, with the exception of "Ain't No Grave," and the opening Django theme, everything else was sub par. I'm not 100% certain, but I'm pretty sure I heard a Tupac song during the final shootout/Django's last stand, but it wasn't something to remember.

Final Rating: 9/10

EXTRA TIDBIT: After thinking it over for a day, I've come to conclusion that Django Unchained deserves a higher score, so I'm bumping it up one point!