Midnight Movie (2008)(Minor Spoilers Review)

**This review contains MINOR spoilers. No character deaths, or major reveals.**

A disturbed director, writer, and actor named Ted Radford (Arthur Roberts) is consumed by an unnatural obsession for his cult classic horror movie. Radford is a patient at Safe Haven, a mental institution, and Radford’s doctor plans to cure him with a personal screening of his movie.

Radford’s doctor ignores warnings from Dr. Wayne (Michael Swan). The doctor forces Radford to confront his fears with a private screening for his movie, The Dark Beneath, a black and white slasher film about a group of teenagers unknowingly wandering into a farmhouse and the clutches of a ruthless killer (Radford), but the one night only screening takes a drastic turn for the worst, when Radford snaps. Radford chews through his own skin, and Radford murders everyone in the hospital. Dr. Wayne returns to discover the massacre, and to make matters worse, Radford escaped Safe Haven without leaving a trail.

Five years later, a small town prepares for a showing of The Dark Beneath at the local movie theater. On the staff, Bridget (Rebekah Brandes) is in charge with Rachael (Brea Grant) and Kenny (Shaun Ausmus) rounding out the support team. Kenny is obsessed with the possibility of becoming a manager, Rachel is more worried about her nails, and Bridget is forced to keep a close eye on her younger brother, Timmy (Justin Baric).

Out of curiosity, Dr. Wayne shows up to watch The Dark Beneath, and Detective Barrons (Jon Briddell) is hoping for a Radford sighting. Detective Barrons is obsessed with Radford’s case, and he won’t pass up a golden opportunity to arrest him.

Before the show starts, Bridget’s boyfriend, Josh (Daniel Bonjour) convinces Bridget to watch the movie with their friend, Mario (Greg Cirulnick), his girlfriend, Samantha (Mandell Maughan), and the local movie buff, Sully (Michael Schwartz), so Bridget leaves Kenny in charge as the temporary manager. In the theater, Dr. Wayne, Detective Barrons, Harley (Stan Ellsowrth), and his girlfriend, Babe (Melissa Steach) anticipate the special screening of The Dark Beneath.

During the early stages of the movie, the group realizes something is wrong after a string of mysterious disappearances. The group is stuck inside the theater with blocked exits, and the remaining survivors learn the truth together: Radford is using the movie as a gateway into the real world, and he won’t stop until everyone inside the theater is dead. As the killer, Radford stalks his victims with his trusty weapon (a big corkscrew), and the survivors are running out of time and options. How do you stop a supernatural killer, who uses the real world and the movie world as playgrounds for his killing sprees?

You’ll see a lot of clichéd characters in Midnight Movie. Bridget is the innocent and pure protagonist, Mario is the cowardly jerk in the group, Sully is the nerd, who everyone picks on, and Josh is the fearless voice of reason. Harley? He’s the foul-mouthed biker/tough guy, who’s not afraid of a fight. Babe compliments Harley’s character, Samantha is just eye candy for the most part, and Timmy is the quiet and scared little kid. The performances range from decent to mediocre, and I didn’t see one true standout performance worthy of individual recognition from this cast.

The killer? I have mixed feelings about him. On one hand, the killer/Radford is creepy. He’s wearing dirty overalls, his mask is clearly made of parts from a human skull, and he drags one mangled and broken leg behind him during the chase scenes. And the corkscrew was a nice change for a weapon, because we’ve seen enough machetes, knives, and axes in other slasher films throughout the years.

The bad side? The killer/Radford IS creepy, but he’s not intimidating. That’s a big difference. After a quick look, you get the impression the killer MIGHT weigh 115 pounds soaking wet, so he’s too scrawny. The twisted leg is a cringeworthy sight. I won’t deny that, but if we’re going to bring suspension of disbelief into this, I’m supposed to believe healthy people with NO leg problems at all can’t outrun this limping stick figure? Come on now.

Plot holes? Oy vey. Sorry, but it’s hard to ignore them, because one word constantly popped in my mind throughout the film: why? Why is Radford/the killer invincible? Gunshots have no effect on him? Why are all the exits blocked? NOBODY from the outside world can see inside?

There’s a confusing scene with a cop standing outside next to Harley’s motorcycle at the entrance to the theater. Everyone is banging on the door, the cop has a flashlight, and he’s looking inside for Detective Barrons. When the camera shows the cop’s POV, there’s nothing inside. On the flip side, when you see everything from the survivor’s POV, they can see the cop, the outside world, and Harley’s motorcycle? I don’t get it. Clearly, I can see everything happening as the viewer, but Midnight Movie never took the time to explain the reasons behind the supernatural side of this film, so you have to assume everything.

With all that said, I still enjoyed Midnight Movie. Yes, the plot holes are annoying and frustrating, but it’s a double-edged sword for me. Midnight Movie deserves credit for taking the chance to be something different. So many lazy low-budget slashers rely on tons of bloody gore, sex, and nudity for cheap thrills, but Midnight Movie doesn’t take the easy way out. You’ll see a handful of gruesome kills, and nasty moments in Midnight Movie, but Midnight Movie never reaches an overkill point.

Midnight Movie is a bold slasher with an authentic old school feel to it, and when both worlds collide, you’re sucked into a nightmarish deathtrap. There’s a chance you’ll have mixed feelings for the movie within a movie approach, but if you love horror and old school slashers, Midnight Movie is worth a try.

Rating: 6/10

Michael Jordan had another run with the Wizards after winning six championships. Brett Favre was one step away from earning a second ring with the Vikings.

As the world's definitive multi-talented superstar athlete, Trisha Bunrastar is taking an unexpected and shocking leap into a new career path. Assuming the identity of Freechelle Fantabulous, Trisha vows to fight crime and battle evildoers as a superheroine. Will she conquer her new mission? Find out more here! http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFLI6VK

Or take a trip into my special world of madness that includes comedy, horror, and the supernatural in this collection of short stories- http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFMYZ0U

Remember Amazon offers free Kindle App downloads for various platforms. Follow this link to find out more- http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html?ie=UTF8&docId=1000493771

And don't forget to follow me on Twitter here- https://twitter.com/LQuigleyFan1

Midnight Movie (2008)(Spoiler Review)

**This review contains spoilers**

A disturbed director, writer, and actor named Ted Radford (Arthur Roberts) is consumed by an unnatural obsession for his cult classic horror movie. Radford is a patient at Safe Haven, a mental institution, and Radford’s doctor plans to cure him with a personal screening of his movie.

Radford’s doctor ignores warnings from Dr. Wayne (Michael Swan). The doctor forces Radford to confront his fears with a private screening for his movie, The Dark Beneath, a black and white slasher film about a group of teenagers unknowingly wandering into a farmhouse and the clutches of a ruthless killer (Radford), but the one night only screening takes a drastic turn for the worst, when Radford snaps. Radford chews through his own skin, and Radford murders everyone in the hospital. Dr. Wayne returns to discover the massacre, and to make matters worse, Radford escaped Safe Haven without leaving a trail.

Five years later, a small town prepares for a showing of The Dark Beneath at the local movie theater. On the staff, Bridget (Rebekah Brandes) is in charge with Rachael (Brea Grant) and Kenny (Shaun Ausmus) rounding out the support team. Kenny is obsessed with the possibility of becoming a manager, Rachel is more worried about her nails, and Bridget is forced to keep a close eye on her younger brother, Timmy (Justin Baric).

Out of curiosity, Dr. Wayne shows up to watch The Dark Beneath, and Detective Barrons (Jon Briddell) is hoping for a Radford sighting. Detective Barrons is obsessed with Radford’s case, and he won’t pass up a golden opportunity to arrest him.

Before the show starts, Bridget’s boyfriend, Josh (Daniel Bonjour) convinces Bridget to watch the movie with their friend, Mario (Greg Cirulnick), his girlfriend, Samantha (Mandell Maughan), and the local movie buff, Sully (Michael Schwartz), so Bridget leaves Kenny in charge as the temporary manager. In the theater, Dr. Wayne, Detective Barrons, Harley (Stan Ellsowrth), and his girlfriend, Babe (Melissa Steach) anticipate the special screening of The Dark Beneath.

During the early stages of the movie, the group realizes something is wrong after a string of mysterious disappearances. The group is stuck inside the theater with blocked exits, and the remaining survivors learn the truth together: Radford is using the movie as a gateway into the real world, and he won’t stop until everyone inside the theater is dead. As the killer, Radford stalks his victims with his trusty weapon (a big corkscrew), and the survivors are running out of time and options. How do you stop a supernatural killer, who uses the real world and the movie world as playgrounds for his killing sprees?

You’ll see a lot of clichéd characters in Midnight Movie. Bridget is the innocent and pure protagonist, Mario is the cowardly jerk in the group, Sully is the nerd, who everyone picks on, and Josh is the fearless voice of reason. Harley? He’s the foul-mouthed biker/tough guy, who’s not afraid of a fight. Babe compliments Harley’s character, Samantha is just eye candy for the most part, and Timmy is the quiet and scared little kid. The performances range from decent to mediocre, and I didn’t see one true standout performance worthy of individual recognition from this cast.

The killer? I have mixed feelings about him. On one hand, the killer/Radford is creepy. He’s wearing dirty overalls, his mask is clearly made of parts from a human skull, and he drags one mangled and broken leg behind him during the chase scenes. And the corkscrew was a nice change for a weapon, because we’ve seen enough machetes, knives, and axes in other slasher films throughout the years.

The bad side? The killer/Radford IS creepy, but he’s not intimidating. That’s a big difference. After a quick look, you get the impression the killer MIGHT weigh 115 pounds soaking wet, so he’s too scrawny. The twisted leg is a cringeworthy sight. I won’t deny that, but if we’re going to bring suspension of disbelief into this, I’m supposed to believe healthy people with NO leg problems at all can’t outrun this limping stick figure? Come on now.

Who’s the sole survivor? If you guessed, Bridget AND Timmy, you’re wrong, because Timmy is the sole survivor. How does it happen? Well, after a face-off with the killer, Josh figured out the source of the killer’s powers: fear. The killer feeds off everyone’s fears in the theater, and he uses their fears to smoke his victims out of their hiding spots. Prime example, during the confrontation with Josh, the killer chased a petrified Timmy in the ventilation ducts, leaving Josh alone. Why? Because Josh was ready for a fight, and he wasn’t afirad of the killer, so the killer didn’t have any power over him.

Anyway, as the sole survivors, Bridget and Timmy are running towards the gateway into the real world after Timmy murdered the killer‘s deranged mother to save Bridget, but there’s one big problem: the movie is moments away from rolling the credits. As the selfless big sister, Bridget scarifies herself to save Timmy. “The End” pops up on the screen, and Bridget tosses Timmy into the real world. Timmy is safe, but Bridget and the killer’s victims are trapped in the movie with no chance of an escape.

Nice surprise. A finale with Bridget and Timmy escaping together was the ideal foregone conclusion scenario in my mind, but Midnight Movie throws a curveball at you with Bridget sacrificing herself. Also, during Bridget and Timmy’s trip into The Dark Beneath, you get an inside look at the killer’s lair. The mutilated victims from the theater are stuck in limbo, because the movie reel is still running in the real world. In the barn, the killer stores all of his victims together. Everyone is still alive and suffering, and the victim’s bodies are strewn about the barn in this eerie and diabolical tapestry. Nasty stuff.

Plot holes? Oy vey. Sorry, but it’s hard to ignore them, because one word constantly popped in my mind throughout the film: why? Why is Radford/the killer invincible? Gunshots have no effect on him? Why are all the exits blocked? NOBODY from the outside world can see inside?

There’s a confusing scene with a cop standing outside next to Harley’s motorcycle at the entrance to the theater. Everyone is banging on the door, the cop has a flashlight, and he’s looking inside for Detective Barrons. When the camera shows the cop’s POV, there’s nothing inside. On the flip side, when you see everything from the survivor’s POV, they can see the cop, the outside world, and Harley’s motorcycle? I don’t get it. Clearly, I can see everything happening as the viewer, but Midnight Movie never took the time to explain the reasons behind the supernatural side of this film, so you have to assume everything.

With all that said, I still enjoyed Midnight Movie. Yes, the plot holes are annoying and frustrating, but it’s a double-edged sword for me. Midnight Movie deserves credit for taking the chance to be something different. So many lazy low-budget slashers rely on tons of bloody gore, sex, and nudity for cheap thrills, but Midnight Movie doesn’t take the easy way out. You’ll see a handful of gruesome kills (i.e. Josh’s death) and nasty moments (the scene where Samantha’s fingers are stuck in the window, and the aftermath of the killer snatching her corpse from the window……ouch)  in Midnight Movie, but Midnight Movie never reaches an overkill point.

Midnight Movie is a bold slasher with an authentic old school feel to it, and when both worlds collide, you’re sucked into a nightmarish deathtrap. There’s a chance you’ll have mixed feelings for the movie within a movie approach, but if you love horror and old school slashers, Midnight Movie is worth a try.

Rating: 6/10

Michael Jordan had another run with the Wizards after winning six championships. Brett Favre was one step away from earning a second ring with the Vikings.

As the world's definitive multi-talented superstar athlete, Trisha Bunrastar is taking an unexpected and shocking leap into a new career path. Assuming the identity of Freechelle Fantabulous, Trisha vows to fight crime and battle evildoers as a superheroine. Will she conquer her new mission? Find out more here! http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFLI6VK

Or take a trip into my special world of madness that includes comedy, horror, and the supernatural in this collection of short stories- http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFMYZ0U

Remember Amazon offers free Kindle App downloads for various platforms. Follow this link to find out more- http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html?ie=UTF8&docId=1000493771

And don't forget to follow me on Twitter here- https://twitter.com/LQuigleyFan1

Balls Of Fury (2007)(Minor Spoilers Review)

**This review contains MINOR spoilers. No major reveals or big twists**

Randy Daytona (Brett DelBuono) is preparing for the biggest match in his life. At the young age of twelve, Randy is praised and celebrated as the best table tennis player in the world, and he’s the favorite to win it all during the finals of the 1988 Summer Olympics.

Randy must overcome two insurmountable obstacles to take home the gold. First, Randy must defeat Karl Wolfschtagg (Thomas Lennon), a fierce competitor from the German Democratic Republic. On top of that, Randy’s father, Sgt. Pete Daytona (Robert Patrick) of the United States Marine Corps bet money on Randy’s big match with the hopes of paying off his gambling debt.

In the end, Randy cracks under the pressure, losing the big match, and the mafia abducts his father. Sgt. Daytona’s owes money to Feng (Christopher Walken), a feared crime boss and enthusiastic ping-pong fan, and Sgt. Daytona can’t rely on his exhausted line of credit, so Feng’s associates murder him.

Nineteen years later, Randy (Dan Fogler) is haunted by the traumatic loss and his father’s death, so he takes a job at a casino in Reno, Nevada. As a sideshow act, Randy performs ping-pong tricks to pay the bills, but after a botched stunt, Randy’s boss, Rick The Birdmaster (David Koechner) fires him.

But Randy receives a second shot at redemption, when Ernie Rodriguez (George Lopez), an FBI agent, tempts Randy with an irresistible offer. With Rodriguez‘s help as an undercover agent, Randy must enter Feng’s annual ping-pong tournament, an exclusive best of the best tournament to crown the top ping-player in the world.

Together, Rodriguez and Randy will infiltrate Feng’s criminal organization, but Randy needs to polish his rusty skills first. In Chinatown, Randy trains with Master Wong (James Hong), a blind man, praised as one of the best ping pong trainers in the world, and he’s Feng’s old mentor, and Master Wong’s niece, Maggie (Maggie Q). Randy passes a big test after a win over The Dragon (La Na Shi), so one of Feng’s mysterious associates (Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa) offers Randy an invitation to the tournament, and Randy accepts.

Randy, Rodriguez, and Master Wong take the trip to Feng’s secret facility for the tournament. At the facility, Randy is forced to compete against an old rival, non-nonsense experts, and the losers receive a fatal shot from Mahogany’s (Aisha Tyler), one of Feng’s top assistants, poisonous darts. Randy tries to avenge his father’s murder, but Feng throws a tricky curveball at Randy during the finals…………

Christopher Walken delivers the best performance in Balls Of Fury. Walken is hilarious as the delusional and eccentric crime lord, who’s obsessed with ping-pong. Fang is a kooky adversary, the look helps (i.e. Feng’s painted fingernails), and Walken really nailed this character.

Dan Fogler’s funny enough, when he’s not forcing his routine with over the top hysterics. Maggie Q is decent with a parody performance of the tough woman, who excels in a man’s world. James Hong’s entire shtick revolves around Wong being this inept and accident-prone blind man, and Hong is good for a few laughs every now and then. George Lopez? I don’t see the appeal in him, and his cringeworthy Scarface impersonations couldn’t pull any laughs out of me.

Terry Crews and Patton Oswalt have a pair of brief cameo roles here. Crews sticks to his jacked up muscle guy act as Freddy “Fingers” Wilson, and there’s a funny scene, where Randy wishes Freddy good luck before their match in Feng’s tournament. Freddy’s response? “Blow it out your ass, b****.” Oswalt is a popular ping-pong player nicknamed “The Hammer.” Basically, The Hammer is this loser geek with a beer belly, and he licks the tiny prize trophy after his match with Randy. Meh. Oswalt licking the trophy almost forced a smile out of me, but that’s it. Thomas Lennon’s screen time is short, but he’s a nice fit for the wired jerk with a big ego. Also, don’t get your hopes up for Robert Patrick. You’ll only see him at the beginning, and his character disappears after that.

Am I the only one, who noticed the Mortal Kombat connection with Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa? For those of you, who don’t know, Tagawa portrayed Shang Tsung in Mortal Kombat (1995). In the movie, Shang Tsung recruited Johnny Cage for the tournament. In Balls Of Fury, he recruited Randy for the ping-pong tournament. It’s kind of weird how Tagawa delivers invitations for an exclusive best of the best tournament in Mortal Kombat and Balls Of Fury, AND in both films, he’s working for the bad guys. It’s an eerie coincidence, if you stop and take the time to connect the dots.

Balls Of Fury has its moments. Most of the laughs come from Walken as Feng, and Fogler is a tolerable leading man. I can’t think of any true gut busters in Balls Of Fury, but watching Randy face off against a small girl (The Dragon), who’s the most feared ping-pong player in Chinatown put a smile on my face. Plus, Mahogany’s recurring gag with the poisonous darts brought some snickers out of me, and the misfire during the Maggie/Randy match is just priceless.

Still, I can’t go with a positive score for Balls Of Fury. Yes, Balls Of Fury put a smile on my face a few times, but in the grand scheme of things, the laughs are too inconsistent. I didn’t have a problem with Mahogany’s poison dart killing sprees, but the barrage of lowbrow antics hit a too tiresome point for me at the forty-seven minute mark.

I said this before, but George Lopez was too much for me, because he’s unbearably annoying as Rodriguez. And the cheap laughs approach for constantly using the word “balls” didn’t work on me. Walken brings his A game in the leading role, and without him, Balls Of Fury could’ve been worse, because he‘s the anchor for Balls Of Fury. Without Walken, this one sinks to the bottom of the deep end, fast.

Rating: 3/10

Michael Jordan had another run with the Wizards after winning six championships. Brett Favre was one step away from earning a second ring with the Vikings.

As the world's definitive multi-talented superstar athlete, Trisha Bunrastar is taking an unexpected and shocking leap into a new career path. Assuming the identity of Freechelle Fantabulous, Trisha vows to fight crime and battle evildoers as a superheroine. Will she conquer her new mission? Find out more here! http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFLI6VK

Or take a trip into my special world of madness that includes comedy, horror, and the supernatural in this collection of short stories- http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFMYZ0U

Remember Amazon offers free Kindle App downloads for various platforms. Follow this link to find out more- http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html?ie=UTF8&docId=1000493771

And don't forget to follow me on Twitter here- https://twitter.com/LQuigleyFan1

Balls Of Fury (2007)(Spoiler Review)

**This review contains spoilers**

Randy Daytona (Brett DelBuono) is preparing for the biggest match in his life. At the young age of twelve, Randy is praised and celebrated as the best table tennis player in the world, and he’s the favorite to win it all during the finals of the 1988 Summer Olympics.

Randy must overcome two insurmountable obstacles to take home the gold. First, Randy must defeat Karl Wolfschtagg (Thomas Lennon), a fierce competitor from the German Democratic Republic. On top of that, Randy’s father, Sgt. Pete Daytona (Robert Patrick) of the United States Marine Corps bet money on Randy’s big match with the hopes of paying off his gambling debt.

In the end, Randy cracks under the pressure, losing the big match, and the mafia abducts his father. Sgt. Daytona’s owes money to Feng (Christopher Walken), a feared crime boss and enthusiastic ping-pong fan, and Sgt. Daytona can’t rely on his exhausted line of credit, so Feng’s associates murder him.

Nineteen years later, Randy (Dan Fogler) is haunted by the traumatic loss and his father’s death, so he takes a job at a casino in Reno, Nevada. As a sideshow act, Randy performs ping-pong tricks to pay the bills, but after a botched stunt, Randy’s boss, Rick The Birdmaster (David Koechner) fires him.

But Randy receives a second shot at redemption, when Ernie Rodriguez (George Lopez), an FBI agent, tempts Randy with an irresistible offer. With Rodriguez‘s help as an undercover agent, Randy must enter Feng’s annual ping-pong tournament, an exclusive best of the best tournament to crown the top ping-player in the world.

Together, Rodriguez and Randy will infiltrate Feng’s criminal organization, but Randy needs to polish his rusty skills first. In Chinatown, Randy trains with Master Wong (James Hong), a blind man, praised as one of the best ping pong trainers in the world, and he’s Feng’s old mentor, and Master Wong’s niece, Maggie (Maggie Q). Randy passes a big test after a win over The Dragon (La Na Shi), so one of Feng’s mysterious associates (Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa) offers Randy an invitation to the tournament, and Randy accepts.

Randy, Rodriguez, and Master Wong take the trip to Feng’s secret facility for the tournament. At the facility, Randy is forced to compete against an old rival, non-nonsense experts, and the losers receive a fatal shot from Mahogany’s (Aisha Tyler), one of Feng’s top assistants, poisonous darts. Randy tries to avenge his father’s murder, but Feng throws a tricky curveball at Randy during the finals…………

Christopher Walken delivers the best performance in Balls Of Fury. Walken is hilarious as the delusional and eccentric crime lord, who’s obsessed with ping-pong. Fang is a kooky adversary, the look helps (i.e. Feng’s painted fingernails), and Walken really nailed this character.

Dan Fogler’s funny enough, when he’s not forcing his routine with over the top hysterics. Maggie Q is decent with a parody performance of the tough woman, who excels in a man’s world. James Hong’s entire shtick revolves around Wong being this inept and accident-prone blind man, and Hong is good for a few laughs every now and then. George Lopez? I don’t see the appeal in him, and his cringeworthy Scarface impersonations couldn’t pull any laughs out of me.

Terry Crews and Patton Oswalt have a pair of brief cameo roles here. Crews sticks to his jacked up muscle guy act as Freddy “Fingers” Wilson, and there’s a funny scene, where Randy wishes Freddy good luck before their match in Feng’s tournament. Freddy’s response? “Blow it out your ass, b****.” Oswalt is a popular ping-pong player nicknamed “The Hammer.” Basically, The Hammer is this loser geek with a beer belly, and he licks the tiny prize trophy after his match with Randy. Meh. Oswalt licking the trophy almost forced a smile out of me, but that’s it. Thomas Lennon’s screen time is short, but he’s a nice fit for the wired jerk with a big ego. Also, don’t get your hopes up for Robert Patrick. You’ll only see him at the beginning, and his character disappears after that.

Am I the only one, who noticed the Mortal Kombat connection with Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa? For those of you, who don’t know, Tagawa portrayed Shang Tsung in Mortal Kombat (1995). In the movie, Shang Tsung recruited Johnny Cage for the tournament. In Balls Of Fury, he recruited Randy for the ping-pong tournament. It’s kind of weird how Tagawa delivers invitations for an exclusive best of the best tournament in Mortal Kombat and Balls Of Fury, AND in both films, he’s working for the bad guys. It’s an eerie coincidence, if you stop and take the time to connect the dots.

Who’s the true ping-pong master? Well, Feng raises the stakes, when he orders Mahogany to kill Wolfschtagg during the final match. Wolfschtagg’s replacement? A kidnapped Maggie. Feng forces Maggie to compete against Randy in a match to the death, but Maggie refuses. The FBI invades Feng’s facility during a self-destruct sequence, and Feng is disgusted by Maggie’s refusal to compete against Randy, so Feng decides to challenge Randy in a ping-pong match to the death to determine Wong’s greatest pupil.

But there’s a catch to Feng’s match. Randy and Feng must wear Feng’s custom made electronic vests, and the loser is electrocuted to death at the end of the match. On a rickety bridge, a one-armed Randy (Rodriguez broke one of Randy’s arms, because Randy wanted an excuse to quit before the final match) defeats Feng with a backhand serve. Feng falls into the lake below with his vest intact, and he’s electrocuted to death. Randy celebrates in a departing boat with Maggie, and to end the movie, Wong reopens his ping-pong school to teach new students. Long story short, traditional ping-pong enthusiasts trashed Wong’s school, because teaching a “gringo” (Randy) is forbidden in Chinatown.

Did any of this surprise anyone? We all knew Randy would face off against Feng, and we all knew he would win with some miraculous Hail Mary comeback. Randy and Maggie falling in love and sharing a big kiss? Yep. That’s another moment you could see coming from a mile away. Is the finale for Balls Of Fury a horrific and unbearable train wreck? No, but it’s hard to ignore the mundane step by step through the motions predictability.

Balls Of Fury has its moments. Most of the laughs come from Walken as Feng, and Fogler is a tolerable leading man. I can’t think of any true gut busters in Balls Of Fury, but watching Randy face off against a small girl (The Dragon), who’s the most feared ping-pong player in Chinatown put a smile on my face. Plus, Mahogany’s recurring gag with the poisonous darts brought some snickers out of me, and the misfire during the Maggie/Randy match is just priceless.

Still, I can’t go with a positive score for Balls Of Fury. Yes, Balls Of Fury put a smile on my face a few times, but in the grand scheme of things, the laughs are too inconsistent. I didn’t have a problem with Mahogany’s poison dart killing sprees, but the barrage of lowbrow antics hit a too tiresome point for me at the forty-seven minute mark.

I said this before, but George Lopez was too much for me, because he’s unbearably annoying as Rodriguez. And the cheap laughs approach for constantly using the word “balls” didn’t work on me. Walken brings his A game in the leading role, and without him, Balls Of Fury could’ve been worse, because he‘s the anchor for Balls Of Fury. Without Walken, this one sinks to the bottom of the deep end, fast.

Rating: 3/10

Michael Jordan had another run with the Wizards after winning six championships. Brett Favre was one step away from earning a second ring with the Vikings.

As the world's definitive multi-talented superstar athlete, Trisha Bunrastar is taking an unexpected and shocking leap into a new career path. Assuming the identity of Freechelle Fantabulous, Trisha vows to fight crime and battle evildoers as a superheroine. Will she conquer her new mission? Find out more here! http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFLI6VK

Or take a trip into my special world of madness that includes comedy, horror, and the supernatural in this collection of short stories- http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFMYZ0U

Remember Amazon offers free Kindle App downloads for various platforms. Follow this link to find out more- http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html?ie=UTF8&docId=1000493771

And don't forget to follow me on Twitter here- https://twitter.com/LQuigleyFan1

Gothika (2003)(Minor Spoilers Review)

**This review contains MINOR spoilers. No major reveals or big twists.**

Miranda Grey (Halle Berry) is a dedicated psychiatrist, and she’s trying to help a troubled patient. Chloe (Penelope Cruz) pleads her case to Miranda, but Miranda dismisses accusations of rape within the hospital as paranoia from Chloe’s mental illness.

At the same mental hospital, Miranda works with her boss and  husband, Dr. Douglas Grey (Charles S. Dutton), another psychiatrist named Pete Graham (Robert Downey, Jr.), and Phil Parsons (Bernard Hill). During a stormy night, Doug’s best friend and the town Sheriff, Sheriff Ryan (John Carroll Lynch) instructs Miranda to take a detour on the routine trip home to avoid a dangerous sinkhole.

On the back roads, Miranda spots a petrified girl standing in the middle of the street. Miranda tries to help, but the girl catches fire out of nowhere. The flames engulf Miranda after the girl touches her, and Miranda is the victim of an unexpected blackout.

Miranda awakes in the mental hospital, but she’s not a doctor anymore. Miranda is wearing a hospital gown, and she’s locked in her cell as a patient. Confused and desperate for answers, Miranda learns the reasons for her imprisonment from Pete: Doug was murdered on the night of the storm, and Miranda is the prime suspect.

As a patient, Miranda is forced to rely on Chloe and Pete as allies, and Chloe’s stories about a mysterious attacker could lead Miranda in the right direction, and give her the answers she‘s looking for. And a bitter Sheriff Ryan won’t stop until he punishes Doug’s killer. Phil takes control of the mental hospital after Doug’s death, and Miranda tries to learn more about the girl in flames. Is Miranda a cold-blooded killer, who snapped and murdered her husband? Or is Miranda the victim of an uncontrollable and deadly demonic possession?

Halle Berry delivers the best performance as Miranda Grey. Miranda Grey is a broken and confused woman, who’s struggling to find some solace in her life after an unspeakable tragedy. Berry is head and shoulders above everyone else in this cast, as the rattled widow, who’s determined to uncover the truth, and Berry will convince you to believe in Miranda’s side of the story.

Penelope Cruz provides the second best performance in this cast, as the unhinged victim with a quirky sense of humor. Robert Downey, Jr. is decent enough as Pete, and it’s not fair to judge Charles S. Dutton’s performance as Doug. Doug has ONE scene within the first ten minutes of the movie. After that, Doug’s appearances are limited to sporadic flashbacks, and that’s it. And John Carroll Lynch is harmless as Sheriff Ryan. You’ll see his true colors during the finale (more on that later), and there’s a scene, where Sheriff Ryan loses his cool during a tense Q & A session with Miranda, but one outburst isn’t something to brag about.

Gothika is far from perfect. The preposterous stuff, and the plot holes will annoy most people, and Gothika has an infamous legacy as a panned turkey. But I guess I’m in the small crowd of twenty people, who actually enjoy Gothika.

Yeah, I know it’s loaded with problems, but Gothika features an intriguing murder mystery, and the constant twists and turns will keep you guessing until the very end. Who’s the culprit? Is it Pete? Chloe? Or is Miranda a ruthless murderer, who waited for the right moment to unleash her rage on Doug? The answers to Miranda’s questions aren’t so easy to figure out, because Gothika constantly shifts the spotlight to different suspects throughout the movie. Plus, Gothika doesn’t rely on tons of blood and gore to get the job done, and that’s a refreshing change for mainstream R-rated horror films.

Rating: 6/10

Michael Jordan had another run with the Wizards after winning six championships. Brett Favre was one step away from earning a second ring with the Vikings.

As the world's definitive multi-talented superstar athlete, Trisha Bunrastar is taking an unexpected and shocking leap into a new career path. Assuming the identity of Freechelle Fantabulous, Trisha vows to fight crime and battle evildoers as a superheroine. Will she conquer her new mission? Find out more here! http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFLI6VK

Or take a trip into my special world of madness that includes comedy, horror, and the supernatural in this collection of short stories- http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFMYZ0U

Remember Amazon offers free Kindle App downloads for various platforms. Follow this link to find out more- http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html?ie=UTF8&docId=1000493771

And don't forget to follow me on Twitter here- https://twitter.com/LQuigleyFan1

Gothika (2003)(Spoiler Review)

**This review contains spoilers**

Miranda Grey (Halle Berry) is a dedicated psychiatrist, and she’s trying to help a troubled patient. Chloe (Penelope Cruz) pleads her case to Miranda, but Miranda dismisses accusations of rape within the hospital as paranoia from Chloe’s mental illness.

At the same mental hospital, Miranda works with her boss and  husband, Dr. Douglas Grey (Charles S. Dutton), another psychiatrist named Pete Graham (Robert Downey, Jr.), and Phil Parsons (Bernard Hill). During a stormy night, Doug’s best friend and the town Sheriff, Sheriff Ryan (John Carroll Lynch) instructs Miranda to take a detour on the routine trip home to avoid a dangerous sinkhole.

On the back roads, Miranda spots a petrified girl standing in the middle of the street. Miranda tries to help, but the girl catches fire out of nowhere. The flames engulf Miranda after the girl touches her, and Miranda is the victim of an unexpected blackout.

Miranda awakes in the mental hospital, but she’s not a doctor anymore. Miranda is wearing a hospital gown, and she’s locked in her cell as a patient. Confused and desperate for answers, Miranda learns the reasons for her imprisonment from Pete: Doug was murdered on the night of the storm, and Miranda is the prime suspect.

As a patient, Miranda is forced to rely on Chloe and Pete as allies, and Chloe’s stories about a mysterious attacker could lead Miranda in the right direction, and give her the answers she‘s looking for. And a bitter Sheriff Ryan won’t stop until he punishes Doug’s killer. Phil takes control of the mental hospital after Doug’s death, and Miranda tries to learn more about the girl in flames. Is Miranda a cold-blooded killer, who snapped and murdered her husband? Or is Miranda the victim of an uncontrollable and deadly demonic possession?

Halle Berry delivers the best performance as Miranda Grey. Miranda Grey is a broken and confused woman, who’s struggling to find some solace in her life after an unspeakable tragedy. Berry is head and shoulders above everyone else in this cast, as the rattled widow, who’s determined to uncover the truth, and Berry will convince you to believe in Miranda’s side of the story.

Penelope Cruz provides the second best performance in this cast, as the unhinged victim with a quirky sense of humor. Robert Downey, Jr. is decent enough as Pete, and it’s not fair to judge Charles S. Dutton’s performance as Doug. Doug has ONE scene within the first ten minutes of the movie. After that, Doug’s appearances are limited to sporadic flashbacks, and that’s it. And John Carroll Lynch is harmless as Sheriff Ryan. You’ll see his true colors during the finale (more on that later), and there’s a scene, where Sheriff Ryan loses his cool during a tense Q & A session with Miranda, but one outburst isn’t something to brag about.

Who’s the girl in flames? It’s Phil’s deceased daughter, Rachel. Rachel’s death was an apparent suicide, but Miranda escapes the hospital to search for the truth. Miranda’s investigation leads her to Doug’s farmhouse in Willow Creek, Rhode Island. In a secret underground lair, Miranda discovers a torture chamber with a bed. Here, Miranda learns the truth: Rachel didn‘t commit suicide. Instead, Rachel and other young girls were Doug’s victims in a series of brutal sexual assaults and murders.

For years, Doug lived a double life kidnapping and killing young girls, and Miranda never suspected anything, because Doug embodied the persona of the perfect husband. As a ghost, Rachel used her powers to possess Miranda. Under Rachel’s influence, Miranda killed Doug.

But it’s not over yet. As a warning sign, Rachel carved “Not alone” in one of Miranda’s arms. Miranda couldn’t figure out the meaning behind this warning at first, but everything comes together towards the end. Rachel was trying to drop a hint about Doug’s partner in crime, or his disciple.

During an awkward conversation with Sheriff Ryan in her jail cell, Miranda finally puts the pieces of the puzzle together. As Doug’s best friend, Sheriff Ryan was Doug’s accomplice, and Ryan is the one, who continuously  raped Chloe, because Sheriff Ryan had easy access to the mental hospital. And Miranda used Sheriff Ryan’s tattoo of a woman in flames (Anima Sola) as a crucial clue to expose Ryan as the second killer (Miranda also spotted the tattoo during a rape involving Chloe at the hospital).

Sheriff Ryan tries to attack and kill Miranda, because she has the evidence to convict Ryan. But Rachel’s ghost shows up at the last second to help Miranda during the fight. Rachel uses her powers to burn Sheriff Ryan, and Miranda uses a gun to kill Ryan with one shot to the head. To end the movie, Miranda and Chloe embrace as free women, and Chloe thanks Miranda for her help. In return, Miranda thanks Chloe for opening her eyes.

My thoughts on the big reveals at the end? It’s a double-edged sword for a few reasons. Yes, BOTH reveals are genuinely shocking. First, Miranda unknowingly wanders into this dungeon of horrors to learn about the other side of her husband’s double-life, and Berry did a job of selling the surprise with this horrified and shocked look on her face.

The Sheriff Ryan reveal was executed to perfection. Miranda and Ryan are just sitting together, and they’re having this casual chat. But Miranda uses her skills as a  psychiatrist to analyze Ryan’s personality, and in a matter of moments, Miranda realizes Ryan is the disciple. It’s a good swerve, because one minute you get the impression Miranda and Ryan are one step closer to solving the mystery of the second killer together. But Miranda is forced to fight off a crazed Sheriff Ryan after his confession.

The bad side? Two big plot holes. Okay, so if Rachel uses her powers to burn Ryan alive, then why did she possess Miranda, and force her to kill Doug? When you stop and think about it, possessing Miranda was unnecessary, because Rachel had the power to kill Doug AND Sheriff Ryan by herself with no help.

Also, I’m supposed to believe NOBODY at the hospital notices the town Sheriff, who removes his shirt to reveal the big tattoo on his chest, and his suspicious behavior? You know, the guy, who constantly “sneaks” in and out of the hospital on a weekly basis. Seriously? Sorry, but Gothika opens the gap in logic problems, when they show off the complex security system.

Gothika is far from perfect. The preposterous stuff (i.e. Miranda’s escape from the hospital) and the plot holes will annoy most people, and Gothika has an infamous legacy as a panned turkey. But I guess I’m in the small crowd of twenty people, who actually enjoy Gothika.

Yeah, I know it’s loaded with problems, but Gothika features an intriguing murder mystery, and the constant twists and turns will keep you guessing until the very end. Who’s the culprit? Is it Pete? Chloe? Or is Miranda a ruthless murderer, who waited for the right moment to unleash her rage on Doug? The answers to Miranda’s questions aren’t so easy to figure out, because Gothika constantly shifts the spotlight to different suspects throughout the movie.

Plus, Gothika doesn’t rely on tons of blood and gore to get the job done, and that’s a refreshing change for mainstream R-rated horror films. During a flashback, Miranda relives Doug’s murder, and you can see Doug’s bloody legs twisted behind him, but it‘s a quick shot, so you barely see anything. And when she returns to the house, Miranda has a vision of herself sitting in a bathtub full of blood, but that’s it, because you won’t see anything too gross or extreme in Gothika.

Rating: 6/10

Michael Jordan had another run with the Wizards after winning six championships. Brett Favre was one step away from earning a second ring with the Vikings.

As the world's definitive multi-talented superstar athlete, Trisha Bunrastar is taking an unexpected and shocking leap into a new career path. Assuming the identity of Freechelle Fantabulous, Trisha vows to fight crime and battle evildoers as a superheroine. Will she conquer her new mission? Find out more here! http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFLI6VK

Or take a trip into my special world of madness that includes comedy, horror, and the supernatural in this collection of short stories- http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFMYZ0U

Remember Amazon offers free Kindle App downloads for various platforms. Follow this link to find out more- http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html?ie=UTF8&docId=1000493771

And don't forget to follow me on Twitter here- https://twitter.com/LQuigleyFan1

V/H/S 2 (2013) (Minor Spoilers Review)

**This review contains MINOR spoilers. No major twists, reveals, or character deaths**

This is a horror anthology film, so I’ll do another separate synopses and my thoughts after each storyline breakdown review. Tape 49 is the main story arc and intro for V/H/S 2.

Tape 49

Larry (Lawrence Michael Levine) works as a private investigator with his girlfriend, Ayesha (Kelsy Abbott). Together, the duo accepts the case of a concerned mother, who’s looking for her missing son. The son is a college student, and his mother hasn’t seen or heard anything from him in one week.

Larry and Ayesha break into a seemingly abandoned house to search for more clues. In the living room, the duo stumble across an elaborate set up with television sets, VCRs, and scattered VHS tapes. While Larry searches the house for more clues pointing to the missing college student’s whereabouts, Ayesha agrees to stay in the living room to watch the tapes. Unbeknownst to Larry and Ayesha, a stranger is inside the house, waiting for the right moment to attack……

My Thoughts: Tape 49 is a basic and effective intro. This intro establishes Larry, as the bolder one in the duo, because he’s willing to take risks. On the flip side, Ayesha is more level-headed and quiet. Plus, there’s a funny moment, when Larry is trying to catch a cheating husband in the act. A maid blows Larry’s cover during the recording, and the cheating husband chases Larry to his car.

Phase I Clinical Trials

After a brutal car accident, Herman (Adam Wingard) needs an eye transplant, so he agrees to a clinical trial for a mechanical eye. The catch? The mechanical eyes is equipped with a recording chip to monitor Herman’s progress, and removing the chip isn’t an option.

On his first night with the new eye, Herman experiences a series of bizarre malfunctions. With some help from his glitchy eye, various otherworldly figures, including a dead man covered in blood, and a dead girl, invade Herman’s home. A woman named Clarissa (Hannah Hughes), who experienced similar problems after a clinical trial from the same company, offers a helping hand. Who are the otherworldly figures, and why are they stalking Herman?

My Thoughts: Phase I Clinical trials is a solid opener. Herman’s eye camera provides a unique and refreshing POV for found-footage films, and the nail-biting finale ends with a nice cliffhanger. Although, I’ll admit, the sequence of Herman hiding in his bathroom, checking the bed, and locking the bathroom door feels repetitive, because they repeat the same process over and over again.

A Ride In The Park

Mike Sullivan (Jay Saunders) is an enthusiastic cyclist. He’s preparing for his daily bike ride in the park, and Mike uses a camera attached to his helmet to record everything. Mike is feeling the heat from his neglected girlfriend, but Mike is forced to deal with a bigger problem during his bike ride. A freighted woman covered in blood pleads for help, and to make matters worse, Mike spots a horde of approaching zombies.

Mike tries to help the woman, but she’s too sick to move. Mike doesn’t have a chance to defend himself, so the zombified woman attacks. Eventually, Mike succumbs to the woman’s bites to complete his zombie transformation. Two unsuspecting bikers approach an unconscious Mike, but a simple 911 call takes a backseat to a life-or-death fight, when Mike attacks the bikers.

My Thoughts: Kudos to Eduardo Sanchez and Gregg Hale (the directors) for providing another refreshing found-footage POV. The rough cut style from Mike’s helmet camera adds a strong sense of realism, and you see every stage in Mike’s transformation into a zombie (i.e. Mike vomiting a black liquid).

Seeing everything through the eyes of a zombie is a GREAT idea for a short. A zombie POV found-footage film has a legit wow factor to it, because it’s a rare occurrence. And a short time frame is the best option for a found-footage short with a zombie POV, because the constant groaning and shuffling would reach a too tedious or boring point after thirty minutes.

Safe Haven

In Indonesia, an investigative news team plans to expose a satanic cult with a documentary and hidden cameras. Malik (Oka Antara) is the lead reporter, Malik’s best friend, Adam (Fachry Albar) is a cameraman, and Malik’s fiancée, Lena (Hannah Al Rashid) provides a helping hand as an interviewer.

Father (Epy Kusnandar) is the sadistic leader, and he’s under fire for horrible and unspeakable crimes against the children of Safe Haven. Eventually, the team unravels the dark and evil mystery behind Safe Haven, and Father’s master plan comes full circle during his final announcement……

My thoughts: Incredible. Safe Haven is loaded with so many shocking twists and turns, and the diabolical cliffhanger provides a great jaw-dropping moment. This is the minor spoilers version, so I won’t go any further with details. Just watch Safe Haven first, because you need to experience the shocking mayhem without any restraints.

Slumber Party Alien Abduction

Randy (Cohen King) and Gary (Rylan Logan) are determined to ruin their big sister’s date night with some help from their friends Shawn (Zack Ford), Danny (Josh Ingraham), and the family dog, Tank.

When mom and dad leave the house for a vacation break, Jen’s (Samantha Gracie) date with her boyfriend, Zack (Jeremie Saunders) is disrupted by a barrage of pranks, but Jen gains the upper hand with some help from Zack during a sneak attack. But the feuding siblings are forced into a truce, when a group of Grey aliens show up…………

My thoughts: Stupid. It’s one word you can use to describe this short. Why should I care about characters, who are too dumb to react to OBVIOUS warning signs? The most obvious warnings signs? Blaring horn noises in the background, flashing lights from a flying saucer, and during an underwater scene, you can see the hazy image of a Grey alien reaching towards the camera. Of course, Jen decides to call the police AFTER the aliens attack. Ugh.

Summary: When it’s all said and done, V/H/S 2 isn’t terrible, but I had bigger expectations for this. Without Safe Haven, V/H/S 2 is mediocre film at best, because Slumber Party Alien Abduction almost drags this one into the dumpster. Yeah, it’s that bad.

Still, V/H/S 2 deserves credit for using refreshing and inventive methods to justify a found-footage POV (Phase I Clinical Trials, A Ride In The Park, etc.), and V/H/S 2 should satisfy the more extreme and bloodthirsty horror fans. Nudity, an overflow of blood, and disgusting gore. You name it, and you’ll see it in V/H/S 2. V/H/S 2 is more darker and sinister than its predecessor, and Safe Haven is a must-see. If Phase I Clinical Trials and A Ride In The Park bore you, just fast forward to Safe Haven for an unforgettable experience.

Also, I hope we’ll learn more about the people collecting and making the tapes in V/H/S 3. Why are they doing this? Who are they working for? It’s time we take a trip into the rabbit hole to learn more about the tapes. As a fan of V/H/S, I’m keeping my fingers crossed, because I’m hoping V/H/S won’t fall into the Paranormal Activity trap: a runaround storyline (storylines for V/H/S) with no real pay offs in the end.

Rating: 5/10

If you're interested, you can follow this link to read the spoiler review for V/H/S (2012)-

http://mitchmacready.blogspot.com/2012/12/vhs-2012.html

Michael Jordan had another run with the Wizards after winning six championships. Brett Favre was one step away from earning a second ring with the Vikings.

As the world's definitive multi-talented superstar athlete, Trisha Bunrastar is taking an unexpected and shocking leap into a new career path. Assuming the identity of Freechelle Fantabulous, Trisha vows to fight crime and battle evildoers as a superheroine. Will she conquer her new mission? Find out more here! http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFLI6VK

Or take a trip into my special world of madness that includes comedy, horror, and the supernatural in this collection of short stories- http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFMYZ0U

Remember Amazon offers free Kindle App downloads for various platforms. Follow this link to find out more- http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html?ie=UTF8&docId=1000493771

And don't forget to follow me on Twitter here- https://twitter.com/LQuigleyFan1