**This post contains spoilers**
The Story- During the school dance, Jeremy Melton is rejected by Paige, Lily, and Shelley, when he asks for a dance. Kate tells Jeremy there’s a chance she might dance with him later, but Jeremy finds himself in trouble, while he kisses Dorothy under the bleachers. Dorothy lies and tells the school bullies Jeremy forced himself on her. Jeremy is humiliated and beaten by the group of bullies. After the sexual assault allegations from Dorothy, Jeremy is sent to a reform school and he spends time in juvenile hall.
Thirteen years later during Valentine’s Day season, Paige (Denise Richards), Lily (Jessica Cauffiel), Shelley (Katherine Heigl), Dorothy (Jessica Capshaw), and Kate (Marley Shelton) are all taunted and stalked by a mysterious masked killer. Kate looks for comfort in her ex boyfriend, Adam (David Boreanaz), but almost every male surrounding the group is a suspect. Has Jeremy Melton returned for revenge?
My Thoughts- Looking at the entire cast, Denise Richards and Marley Shelton easily deliver the top two noteworthy performances. Paige is a narcissistic and shallow mean girl with an ego. Richards brings a good amount of enthusiasm and energy to the character, and she definitely has a presence as Paige. Kate is presented as the only humble and earnest person in the group. You could’ve put a halo over Kate’s head throughout the movie, because Shelton is truly convincing as Kate. Everyone else does a job of playing their roles, but that’s about it.
The killer hits all the right notes for a slasher movie villain. Dressed in all black, he’s cold, ruthless, and relentless during the pursuit of his victims. I have mixed feelings on the Cupid mask. I kind of think it looks ridiculous, but once you know the story, you could say it makes perfect sense. The mask fits with the Valentine’s Day theme. It’s ironic that a cold blooded murderer would wear that kind of mask, and if you pay close attention to the opening flashback, there’s a kid wearing the same mask at the school dance.
Valentine features some creative and brutal kills. The killer using a hot iron to burn and beat Kate’s perverted neighbor, Gary (Claude Duhamel) is a savage scene to witness. There’s also the scene where the killer uses broken glass to kill Ruthie (Hedy Burress), and Lily’s death scene has a comedic ending. The killer uses arrows, and as Lilly falls off the balcony, she lands inside a garbage bin and the lid closes shut.
Paige’s death scene easily takes the top spot. The killer uses the cover on a hot tub to trap her inside, but it doesn’t end there. He brings out a power drill to further torment and injure Paige. Paige is electrocuted to death, when the killer drops the power drill into the hot tub, and it’s a grisly image to see Paige’s body floating in a pool of her own blood.
Revealing Adam/Jeremy as the killer was a good swerve that was executed to perfection. They did a good job of playing a believable guessing game throughout the movie. Valentine is packed with sordid male characters, including Detective Vaughn and Lily’s pretentious boyfriend, Max (Johnny Whitworth). Adam was portrayed as a messy alcoholic, especially towards the end. The only consistent clue they’ll give you is the killer’s nose bleeds, because Jeremy had a problem with nose bleeds as a kid. Using the nose bleeds as a hint, you at least know or have a good idea that an adult Jeremy is the killer. Paige and the others didn’t believe the pitiful geek Jeremy was capable of changing his name, his appearance, and launching an airtight murder plot to pick them all off one by one.
The final curveball with Dorothy? I genuinely believed she was the killer. Before Adam shoots her to death, Dorothy revealed she was bitter about always being the outcast in the group, or in her own words “the fat one.” The jealousy and anger she was holding on to for all those years finally got to her, and she snapped. Another important tidbit is Ruthie’s death. You could believe Dorothy wanted to kill Ruthie, because she exposed her new boyfriend, Campbell (Daniel Cosgrove), a man who’s a pathological liar and a con artist. Ruthie was Campbell’s ex girlfriend, so Dorothy viewed her as another person who wanted to ruin her last bit of hope for happiness.
Dorothy would’ve been a logical choice for the killer, but Adam still works. The ironic trickery during Adam’s explanation to Kate for why Dorothy allegedly did it was unreal. Adam is consoling Kate, and going on about how Dorothy had a deadly mix of anger and loneliness. Adam was basically telling Kate why he killed her friends, without actually confessing to the murders himself. The blood from the nosebleed running down Kate’s cheek, confirming Adam was the killer, definitely provided a good shocking moment to end the movie.
I’m always a big fan of fine details, and something to pay close attention to is the order in which Adam kills everyone. Adam kills everyone in the exact chronological order for the rejections he received at the dance, saving Dorothy for last and pinning all the murders on her. Remember how Paige told Adam she would rather die by being boiled alive, when he asked her to dance with him? That’s basically how she dies, electrocuted to death in a hot tub.
Gary’s death is a big clue that points to Adam as the suspect. Looking at the big picture, Gary didn’t fit with the rest of the killings. But he was harassing Kate and stealing her underwear, so whoever killed Gary obviously did it to protect Kate. Adam always made it clear he never stopped loving Kate. She was the only one in the group who was nice to him, and going by his own twisted logic, he would do anything to protect her.
Valentine is a solid holiday horror film, that also works as a fantastic homage to 80’s slashers. They cleverly put a horror spin on familiar Valentine’s Day traditions. A box of candies with maggots, and the cheesy dark humor with Adam’s Valentine’s Day cards (“roses are red, violets are blue- they’ll need dental records to identify you”) worked as good sinister tie-ins for the movie.
There’s also a few good comedic bits for some breathing room from all blood shed. Shelley has a disastrous date with a guy named Jason (Adam J. Harrington). Jason is a self absorbed tool, who makes a habit of constantly reminding Shelley of his first name. There’s a hilarious moment, where Shelley scribbles the words “help me” on her plate, as Jason keeps rambling on about his requirements, because she couldn’t wait to get away from him.
Going forward, I’ll be adding Valentine to my list for holiday horror films. I didn’t expect much from Valentine. I was pleasantly surprised, and the double twist at the end was superb. Valentine has a familiar horror slasher story, but it still manages to have its own identity, with a sharp screenplay and good twists and turns.
Rating- 6/10
