Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues: Super-Sized R-Rated Version (2013)(Minor Spoilers Review)

**This review contains MINOR spoilers. No major reveals.**

Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell) and Veronica Conrningstone (Christina Applegate) are working together as a happy married couple. Together, they work as co-anchors for a first-rate news station in New York City, but an unexpected meeting complicates their relationship.

As the man in charge at the network, Mack Tannen (Harrison Ford) decides to promote Veronica to an unprecedented position as the first female anchor on the nightly news. On the other hand, Ron was expecting a retirement announcement from Mack, but Tannen fires Ron. After the meeting, Ron gives Veronica an ultimatum: Veronica refuses Mack Tannen’s job offer out of respect to Ron, or Ron promises to leave Veronica, and their son, Walter (Judah Nelson) without looking back. Veronica ignores  Ron’s request, so Ron abandons Veronica and Walter.

Six months later, Ron relocates to San Diego again. Ron embarrasses himself during a drunken fit at his new job for the local oceanarium, and the manager fires Ron. Ron tries to commit suicide after the incident, but Freddie Shapp (Dylan Baker) approaches Ron with an irresistible offer. Freddie is an employee for GNN, a revolutionary twenty-four hour news network, and Freddie wants to hire Ron as an anchorman. Ron accepts the offer under one non-negotiable condition: Ron has the right to assemble his own hand picked news team with no questions asked. Freddie agrees to Ron’s terms, and Ron accepts the offer.

After a lengthy search mission, Ron convinces Brian Fantana (Paul Rudd), Brick Tamland (Steve Carell), and Champ Kind (David Koechner) to join him at GNN. But Ron and his team run into a series of a hurdles at GNN. Ron is stuck in a rivalry with a hot-shot anchorman named Jack Lime (James Marsden), and Ron complicates the working relationship with his new boss, Linda Jackson (Meagan Good).

To make matters worse, Veronica’s in a comfortable relationship with a psychiatrist named Gary (Greg Kinnear). And to add to his growing list of problems, Ron’s team is stuck on the graveyard shift, and a distracted Brick is falling in love with Chani Lastname (Kristen Wiig), a GNN secretary.

But Ron devises a scheme to beat Jack Lime’s ratings on the primetime edition of GNN. Burgundy plans to broadcast mindless stories (random car chases, homerun highlight reels, etc.) as a ploy to spike the ratings. Ron’s plan is a success, but he’ll have to choose between a trusted friend and Kench Allenby (Josh Lawson), the slimy owner of GNN, in a moral dilemma that could change the course of GNN forever. Ron’s plate is full, as he struggles with blindness, repairing his relationship with Veronica and Walter, and the troubles of raising a pet shark.

Will Ferrell delivers another entertaining and hilarious performance as the delusional blowhard with a massive ego. Koechner, Carell, and Rudd provide their fair share of laughs, and Wiig is a nice fit in the role for Brick’s female counterpart. Meagan Good is my pick for the standout star from the supporting cast of new additions. Good takes control of Linda, as the sassy and aggressive foxy lady, who’s in charge. And Marsden is solid, as the obnoxious pretty boy with a snobbish superiority complex.

It’s hard to keep track of all the sub-plots for the sequel. Ron’s blindness, Ron exiling himself to a lighthouse with Veronica and Walter, Ron’s feud with Jack, Ron’s romantic relationship with Linda during the split with Veronica, Ron raising a shark as a pet at the lighthouse, and the love story between Brick and Chani.

It’s not an easy choice, but Ron and Linda’s relationship is my pick for the best sub-plot. At first, a sexist Ron dismisses Linda as his boss, and Linda intimidates Ron. But after the ratings spike with Ron’s crew, Linda pursues Ron. Ron fights off Linda at first, but Ron succumbs to Linda‘s advances in the end. There’s a dinner table scene, where Linda introduces Ron to her family, and all hell breaks loose after a series of racial insults from Ron. Watching the chaos during the dinner unfold is a real treat. Ron crosses so many inappropriate lines, and he’ll surprise you with every outburst in a jaw dropping back and forth duel of racial insults with Linda’s family.

I enjoyed the Super-Sized R-Rated Version, but I’ll throw out a fair warning, this version of Anchorman is NOT for everyone. The runtime clocks in at 2hrs. & 33min., this new version features 763 new jokes, and you‘ll hear a few f-bombs.

So I’m telling you right now, if you’re indifferent to Anchorman, or if you’re on the fence about the sequel, this version is not for you, and it’s that simple, because there’s a good chance you’ll remember the Super-Sized Version as an overlong, tiresome, and bloated comedy. Me? I loved every second of this one week only special. It’s a riot from start to finish, and I can honestly say I laughed all the way through until the credits started rolling at the end.

I only have one complaint about The Legend Continues: The teased feud between Veronica and Linda. Remember that scene in the trailers, where Linda and Veronica exchange insults? Well, that’s all you’ll see for a feud here. It’s a shame, because the love triangle feud between Ron (with Ron playing the role of an instigator) had some real potential. But Anchorman is LOADED with sub-plots, so you’re taking an unnecessary chance of creating a big mess with a full blown Veronica VS Linda feud.

Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues takes the top spot for the best comedy in 2013. The absurd lunacy is still whacky and over the top, and The Legend Continues delivers consistent laughs with some help from a top notch cast. And the cameos during the big battle at the end are mind-blowing. It’s one big surprise after another, and the barrage of celebrity appearances are guaranteed to pull more than one “Wow!” reaction out of you.

If you read my reviews on here, you’ll know I’m against unnecessary or cash grab sequels. Is The Legend Continues the end of the line film for the Anchorman franchise? Well, I’m hoping the answer to this question is no, but director/co-writer Adam McKay drove the nail into the coffin with a recent interview. His response to a Part III in a recent interview? “It’s done.” Usually, I’m against more sequels, but if there’s a good chance of keeping the core cast together, with some cameos from the past, then I don’t see a real sense of urgency for pulling the plug to preserve Anchorman’s legacy (no pun intended).

Yeah, I know you’re taking a risk of damaging Anchorman’s reputation  with another sequel, and the critical success rate for number threes (Return Of The Jedi, and….) raises a few red flags, but there’s a lot of gas left in the tank for Anchorman. I’m not the only one, who noticed Brian’s “breaking the fourth wall” moment at the end, right? Ron and everyone else express their concerns for the future of the news team, and Rudd gives a brief explanation about box office profits. Brian reminds everyone about the sequel’s success at the box office playing a major role in the production of a sequel.

Are Brian’s words food for thought? Am I reading too much into this scene after McKay seemingly drove the nail into the coffin with his interview? Perhaps, but think about like this, The Legend Continues enjoyed a successful box office run, and I like to keep a “never say never” or “time will tell” mindset  for sequels. Die hard Anchorman fans will have to wait and see as the years pass, and I’m keeping my fingers crossed for a Ron Burgundy return to the big screen.

Rating: 8/10

Michael Jordan had another run with the Wizards after winning six championships. Brett Favre was one step away from earning a second ring with the Vikings.

As the world's definitive multi-talented superstar athlete, Trisha Bunrastar is taking an unexpected and shocking leap into a new career path. Assuming the identity of Freechelle Fantabulous, Trisha vows to fight crime and battle evildoers as a superheroine. Will she conquer her new mission? Find out more here! http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFLI6VK

Or take a trip into my special world of madness that includes comedy, horror, and the supernatural in this collection of short stories- http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFMYZ0U

Remember Amazon offers free Kindle App downloads for various platforms. Follow this link to find out more- http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html?ie=UTF8&docId=1000493771

And don't forget to follow me on Twitter here- https://twitter.com/LQuigleyFan1

Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues: Super-Sized R-Rated Version (2013)(Spoiler Review)

**This review contains spoilers**

Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell) and Veronica Conrningstone (Christina Applegate) are working together as a happy married couple. Together, they work as co-anchors for a first-rate news station in New York City, but an unexpected meeting complicates their relationship.

As the man in charge at the network, Mack Tannen (Harrison Ford) decides to promote Veronica to an unprecedented position as the first female anchor on the nightly news. On the other hand, Ron was expecting a retirement announcement from Mack, but Tannen fires Ron. After the meeting, Ron gives Veronica an ultimatum: Veronica refuses Mack Tannen’s job offer out of respect to Ron, or Ron promises to leave Veronica, and their son, Walter (Judah Nelson) without looking back. Veronica ignores  Ron’s request, so Ron abandons Veronica and Walter.

Six months later, Ron relocates to San Diego again. Ron embarrasses himself during a drunken fit at his new job for the local oceanarium, and the manager fires Ron. Ron tries to commit suicide after the incident, but Freddie Shapp (Dylan Baker) approaches Ron with an irresistible offer. Freddie is an employee for GNN, a revolutionary twenty-four hour news network, and Freddie wants to hire Ron as an anchorman. Ron accepts the offer under one non-negotiable condition: Ron has the right to assemble his own hand picked news team with no questions asked. Freddie agrees to Ron’s terms, and Ron accepts the offer.

After a lengthy search mission, Ron convinces Brian Fantana (Paul Rudd), Brick Tamland (Steve Carell), and Champ Kind (David Koechner) to join him at GNN. But Ron and his team run into a series of a hurdles at GNN. Ron is stuck in a rivalry with a hot-shot anchorman named Jack Lime (James Marsden), and Ron complicates the working relationship with his new boss, Linda Jackson (Meagan Good).

To make matters worse, Veronica’s in a comfortable relationship with a psychiatrist named Gary (Greg Kinnear). And to add to his growing list of problems, Ron’s team is stuck on the graveyard shift, and a distracted Brick is falling in love with Chani Lastname (Kristen Wiig), a GNN secretary.

But Ron devises a scheme to beat Jack Lime’s ratings on the primetime edition of GNN. Burgundy plans to broadcast mindless stories (random car chases, homerun highlight reels, etc.) as a ploy to spike the ratings. Ron’s plan is a success, but he’ll have to choose between a trusted friend and Kench Allenby (Josh Lawson), the slimy owner of GNN, in a moral dilemma that could change the course of GNN forever. Ron’s plate is full, as he struggles with blindness, repairing his relationship with Veronica and Walter, and the troubles of raising a pet shark.

Will Ferrell delivers another entertaining and hilarious performance as the delusional blowhard with a massive ego. Koechner, Carell, and Rudd provide their fair share of laughs, and Wiig is a nice fit in the role for Brick’s female counterpart. Meagan Good is my pick for the standout star from the supporting cast of new additions. Good takes control of Linda, as the sassy and aggressive foxy lady, who’s in charge. And Marsden is solid, as the obnoxious pretty boy with a snobbish superiority complex.

It’s hard to keep track of all the sub-plots for the sequel. Ron’s blindness, Ron exiling himself to a lighthouse with Veronica and Walter, Ron’s feud with Jack, Ron’s romantic relationship with Linda during the split with Veronica, Ron raising a shark as a pet at the lighthouse, and the love story between Brick and Chani.

It’s not an easy choice, but Ron and Linda’s relationship is my pick for the best sub-plot. At first, a sexist Ron dismisses Linda as his boss, and Linda intimidates Ron. But after the ratings spike with Ron’s crew, Linda pursues Ron. Ron fights off Linda at first, but Ron succumbs to Linda‘s advances in the end. There’s a dinner table scene, where Linda introduces Ron to her family, and all hell breaks loose after a series of racial insults from Ron. Watching the chaos during the dinner unfold is a real treat. Ron crosses so many inappropriate lines, and he’ll surprise you with every outburst in a jaw dropping back and forth duel of racial insults with Linda’s family.

The cameos during the big battle between all the news teams during the finale? Incredible. It’s the only word to describe the fiasco. Ron has a change of heart, and he quits GNN to catch Walter’s recital. During Ron’s frantic journey to the recital, Jack Lime (with his team) confronts Ron in a park. Jack wants to put an end to Ron, because he destroyed his career, but Ron’s team pops up out of nowhere to help their buddy.

But it’s not over yet. News teams from all over the US and around the world interrupt the personal feud between Jack and Ron to start a war between all the news teams. Take a look at this list of cameos for the big fight:

Will Smith
Marion Cotillard
Jim Carrey
Kirsten Dunst
Sacha Baron Cohen
Tina Fey
Liam Neeson
John C. Reilly (as Stonewall Jackson’s ghost)
Amy Poehler
Kanye West
Vince Vaughn

On top of all that, Harrison Ford transforms into werehyena to join the fight, a minotaur pops up, and Gary lends a helping hand for Ron with his telekinetic powers (earlier in the movie, Ron accused Gary of having psychic powers). Oh, and Drake has a small cameo at the very beginning. Ron and Veronica are still together, and Drake compliments Veronica’s figure.

I enjoyed the Super-Sized R-Rated Version, but I’ll throw out a fair warning, this version of Anchorman is NOT for everyone. The runtime clocks in at 2hrs. & 33min., this new version features 763 new jokes, and you‘ll hear a few f-bombs.

So I’m telling you right now, if you’re indifferent to Anchorman, or if you’re on the fence about the sequel, this version is not for you, and it’s that simple, because there’s a good chance you’ll remember the Super-Sized Version as an overlong, tiresome, and bloated comedy. Me? I loved every second of this one week only special. It’s a riot from start to finish, and I can honestly say I laughed all the way through until the credits started rolling at the end.

And speaking of the ending, there’s a noticeable change in the Super Sized R-Rated Version. You won’t see the battle between Ron and the pet shark at the end. Instead, they end the movie after Brick and Chani’s wedding on the beach, and for the closing shot, you’ll see Chani and Brick running towards the camera. Also, they actually show the beatdown during the dinner with Linda's family in the Super Sized film. They only show the aftermath with a battered  Ron in the back of a taxi with Linda in the original version.

I only have one complaint about The Legend Continues: The teased feud between Veronica and Linda. Remember that scene in the trailers, where Linda and Veronica exchange insults? Well, that’s all you’ll see for a feud here. It’s a shame, because the love triangle feud between Ron (with Ron playing the role of an instigator) had some real potential. But Anchorman is LOADED with sub-plots, so you’re taking an unnecessary chance of creating a big mess with a full blown Veronica VS Linda feud.

Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues takes the top spot for the best comedy in 2013. The absurd lunacy is still whacky and over the top, and The Legend Continues delivers consistent laughs with some help from a top notch cast. And the cameos during the big battle at the end are mind-blowing. It’s one big surprise after another, and the barrage of celebrity appearances are guaranteed to pull more than one “Wow!” reaction out of you.

If you read my reviews on here, you’ll know I’m against unnecessary or cash grab sequels. Is The Legend Continues the end of the line film for the Anchorman franchise? Well, I’m hoping the answer to this question is no, but director/co-writer Adam McKay drove the nail into the coffin with a recent interview. His response to a Part III in a recent interview? “It’s done.” Usually, I’m against more sequels, but if there’s a good chance of keeping the core cast together, with some cameos from the past, then I don’t see a real sense of urgency for pulling the plug to preserve Anchorman’s legacy (no pun intended).

Yeah, I know you’re taking a risk of damaging Anchorman’s reputation  with another sequel, and the critical success rate for number threes (Return Of The Jedi, and….) raises a few red flags, but there’s a lot of gas left in the tank for Anchorman. I’m not the only one, who noticed Brian’s “breaking the fourth wall” moment at the end, right? Ron and everyone else express their concerns for the future of the news team, and Rudd gives a brief explanation about box office profits. Brian reminds everyone about the sequel’s success at the box office playing a major role in the production of a sequel.

Are Brian’s words food for thought? Am I reading too much into this scene after McKay seemingly drove the nail into the coffin with his interview? Perhaps, but think about like this, The Legend Continues enjoyed a successful box office run, and I like to keep a “never say never” or “time will tell” mindset  for sequels. Die hard Anchorman fans will have to wait and see as the years pass, and I’m keeping my fingers crossed for a Ron Burgundy return to the big screen.

Rating: 8/10

Michael Jordan had another run with the Wizards after winning six championships. Brett Favre was one step away from earning a second ring with the Vikings.

As the world's definitive multi-talented superstar athlete, Trisha Bunrastar is taking an unexpected and shocking leap into a new career path. Assuming the identity of Freechelle Fantabulous, Trisha vows to fight crime and battle evildoers as a superheroine. Will she conquer her new mission? Find out more here! http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFLI6VK

Or take a trip into my special world of madness that includes comedy, horror, and the supernatural in this collection of short stories- http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFMYZ0U

Remember Amazon offers free Kindle App downloads for various platforms. Follow this link to find out more- http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html?ie=UTF8&docId=1000493771

And don't forget to follow me on Twitter here- https://twitter.com/LQuigleyFan1

Balls Of Fury (2007)(Minor Spoilers Review)

**This review contains MINOR spoilers. No major reveals or big twists**

Randy Daytona (Brett DelBuono) is preparing for the biggest match in his life. At the young age of twelve, Randy is praised and celebrated as the best table tennis player in the world, and he’s the favorite to win it all during the finals of the 1988 Summer Olympics.

Randy must overcome two insurmountable obstacles to take home the gold. First, Randy must defeat Karl Wolfschtagg (Thomas Lennon), a fierce competitor from the German Democratic Republic. On top of that, Randy’s father, Sgt. Pete Daytona (Robert Patrick) of the United States Marine Corps bet money on Randy’s big match with the hopes of paying off his gambling debt.

In the end, Randy cracks under the pressure, losing the big match, and the mafia abducts his father. Sgt. Daytona’s owes money to Feng (Christopher Walken), a feared crime boss and enthusiastic ping-pong fan, and Sgt. Daytona can’t rely on his exhausted line of credit, so Feng’s associates murder him.

Nineteen years later, Randy (Dan Fogler) is haunted by the traumatic loss and his father’s death, so he takes a job at a casino in Reno, Nevada. As a sideshow act, Randy performs ping-pong tricks to pay the bills, but after a botched stunt, Randy’s boss, Rick The Birdmaster (David Koechner) fires him.

But Randy receives a second shot at redemption, when Ernie Rodriguez (George Lopez), an FBI agent, tempts Randy with an irresistible offer. With Rodriguez‘s help as an undercover agent, Randy must enter Feng’s annual ping-pong tournament, an exclusive best of the best tournament to crown the top ping-player in the world.

Together, Rodriguez and Randy will infiltrate Feng’s criminal organization, but Randy needs to polish his rusty skills first. In Chinatown, Randy trains with Master Wong (James Hong), a blind man, praised as one of the best ping pong trainers in the world, and he’s Feng’s old mentor, and Master Wong’s niece, Maggie (Maggie Q). Randy passes a big test after a win over The Dragon (La Na Shi), so one of Feng’s mysterious associates (Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa) offers Randy an invitation to the tournament, and Randy accepts.

Randy, Rodriguez, and Master Wong take the trip to Feng’s secret facility for the tournament. At the facility, Randy is forced to compete against an old rival, non-nonsense experts, and the losers receive a fatal shot from Mahogany’s (Aisha Tyler), one of Feng’s top assistants, poisonous darts. Randy tries to avenge his father’s murder, but Feng throws a tricky curveball at Randy during the finals…………

Christopher Walken delivers the best performance in Balls Of Fury. Walken is hilarious as the delusional and eccentric crime lord, who’s obsessed with ping-pong. Fang is a kooky adversary, the look helps (i.e. Feng’s painted fingernails), and Walken really nailed this character.

Dan Fogler’s funny enough, when he’s not forcing his routine with over the top hysterics. Maggie Q is decent with a parody performance of the tough woman, who excels in a man’s world. James Hong’s entire shtick revolves around Wong being this inept and accident-prone blind man, and Hong is good for a few laughs every now and then. George Lopez? I don’t see the appeal in him, and his cringeworthy Scarface impersonations couldn’t pull any laughs out of me.

Terry Crews and Patton Oswalt have a pair of brief cameo roles here. Crews sticks to his jacked up muscle guy act as Freddy “Fingers” Wilson, and there’s a funny scene, where Randy wishes Freddy good luck before their match in Feng’s tournament. Freddy’s response? “Blow it out your ass, b****.” Oswalt is a popular ping-pong player nicknamed “The Hammer.” Basically, The Hammer is this loser geek with a beer belly, and he licks the tiny prize trophy after his match with Randy. Meh. Oswalt licking the trophy almost forced a smile out of me, but that’s it. Thomas Lennon’s screen time is short, but he’s a nice fit for the wired jerk with a big ego. Also, don’t get your hopes up for Robert Patrick. You’ll only see him at the beginning, and his character disappears after that.

Am I the only one, who noticed the Mortal Kombat connection with Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa? For those of you, who don’t know, Tagawa portrayed Shang Tsung in Mortal Kombat (1995). In the movie, Shang Tsung recruited Johnny Cage for the tournament. In Balls Of Fury, he recruited Randy for the ping-pong tournament. It’s kind of weird how Tagawa delivers invitations for an exclusive best of the best tournament in Mortal Kombat and Balls Of Fury, AND in both films, he’s working for the bad guys. It’s an eerie coincidence, if you stop and take the time to connect the dots.

Balls Of Fury has its moments. Most of the laughs come from Walken as Feng, and Fogler is a tolerable leading man. I can’t think of any true gut busters in Balls Of Fury, but watching Randy face off against a small girl (The Dragon), who’s the most feared ping-pong player in Chinatown put a smile on my face. Plus, Mahogany’s recurring gag with the poisonous darts brought some snickers out of me, and the misfire during the Maggie/Randy match is just priceless.

Still, I can’t go with a positive score for Balls Of Fury. Yes, Balls Of Fury put a smile on my face a few times, but in the grand scheme of things, the laughs are too inconsistent. I didn’t have a problem with Mahogany’s poison dart killing sprees, but the barrage of lowbrow antics hit a too tiresome point for me at the forty-seven minute mark.

I said this before, but George Lopez was too much for me, because he’s unbearably annoying as Rodriguez. And the cheap laughs approach for constantly using the word “balls” didn’t work on me. Walken brings his A game in the leading role, and without him, Balls Of Fury could’ve been worse, because he‘s the anchor for Balls Of Fury. Without Walken, this one sinks to the bottom of the deep end, fast.

Rating: 3/10

Michael Jordan had another run with the Wizards after winning six championships. Brett Favre was one step away from earning a second ring with the Vikings.

As the world's definitive multi-talented superstar athlete, Trisha Bunrastar is taking an unexpected and shocking leap into a new career path. Assuming the identity of Freechelle Fantabulous, Trisha vows to fight crime and battle evildoers as a superheroine. Will she conquer her new mission? Find out more here! http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFLI6VK

Or take a trip into my special world of madness that includes comedy, horror, and the supernatural in this collection of short stories- http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFMYZ0U

Remember Amazon offers free Kindle App downloads for various platforms. Follow this link to find out more- http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html?ie=UTF8&docId=1000493771

And don't forget to follow me on Twitter here- https://twitter.com/LQuigleyFan1

Balls Of Fury (2007)(Spoiler Review)

**This review contains spoilers**

Randy Daytona (Brett DelBuono) is preparing for the biggest match in his life. At the young age of twelve, Randy is praised and celebrated as the best table tennis player in the world, and he’s the favorite to win it all during the finals of the 1988 Summer Olympics.

Randy must overcome two insurmountable obstacles to take home the gold. First, Randy must defeat Karl Wolfschtagg (Thomas Lennon), a fierce competitor from the German Democratic Republic. On top of that, Randy’s father, Sgt. Pete Daytona (Robert Patrick) of the United States Marine Corps bet money on Randy’s big match with the hopes of paying off his gambling debt.

In the end, Randy cracks under the pressure, losing the big match, and the mafia abducts his father. Sgt. Daytona’s owes money to Feng (Christopher Walken), a feared crime boss and enthusiastic ping-pong fan, and Sgt. Daytona can’t rely on his exhausted line of credit, so Feng’s associates murder him.

Nineteen years later, Randy (Dan Fogler) is haunted by the traumatic loss and his father’s death, so he takes a job at a casino in Reno, Nevada. As a sideshow act, Randy performs ping-pong tricks to pay the bills, but after a botched stunt, Randy’s boss, Rick The Birdmaster (David Koechner) fires him.

But Randy receives a second shot at redemption, when Ernie Rodriguez (George Lopez), an FBI agent, tempts Randy with an irresistible offer. With Rodriguez‘s help as an undercover agent, Randy must enter Feng’s annual ping-pong tournament, an exclusive best of the best tournament to crown the top ping-player in the world.

Together, Rodriguez and Randy will infiltrate Feng’s criminal organization, but Randy needs to polish his rusty skills first. In Chinatown, Randy trains with Master Wong (James Hong), a blind man, praised as one of the best ping pong trainers in the world, and he’s Feng’s old mentor, and Master Wong’s niece, Maggie (Maggie Q). Randy passes a big test after a win over The Dragon (La Na Shi), so one of Feng’s mysterious associates (Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa) offers Randy an invitation to the tournament, and Randy accepts.

Randy, Rodriguez, and Master Wong take the trip to Feng’s secret facility for the tournament. At the facility, Randy is forced to compete against an old rival, non-nonsense experts, and the losers receive a fatal shot from Mahogany’s (Aisha Tyler), one of Feng’s top assistants, poisonous darts. Randy tries to avenge his father’s murder, but Feng throws a tricky curveball at Randy during the finals…………

Christopher Walken delivers the best performance in Balls Of Fury. Walken is hilarious as the delusional and eccentric crime lord, who’s obsessed with ping-pong. Fang is a kooky adversary, the look helps (i.e. Feng’s painted fingernails), and Walken really nailed this character.

Dan Fogler’s funny enough, when he’s not forcing his routine with over the top hysterics. Maggie Q is decent with a parody performance of the tough woman, who excels in a man’s world. James Hong’s entire shtick revolves around Wong being this inept and accident-prone blind man, and Hong is good for a few laughs every now and then. George Lopez? I don’t see the appeal in him, and his cringeworthy Scarface impersonations couldn’t pull any laughs out of me.

Terry Crews and Patton Oswalt have a pair of brief cameo roles here. Crews sticks to his jacked up muscle guy act as Freddy “Fingers” Wilson, and there’s a funny scene, where Randy wishes Freddy good luck before their match in Feng’s tournament. Freddy’s response? “Blow it out your ass, b****.” Oswalt is a popular ping-pong player nicknamed “The Hammer.” Basically, The Hammer is this loser geek with a beer belly, and he licks the tiny prize trophy after his match with Randy. Meh. Oswalt licking the trophy almost forced a smile out of me, but that’s it. Thomas Lennon’s screen time is short, but he’s a nice fit for the wired jerk with a big ego. Also, don’t get your hopes up for Robert Patrick. You’ll only see him at the beginning, and his character disappears after that.

Am I the only one, who noticed the Mortal Kombat connection with Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa? For those of you, who don’t know, Tagawa portrayed Shang Tsung in Mortal Kombat (1995). In the movie, Shang Tsung recruited Johnny Cage for the tournament. In Balls Of Fury, he recruited Randy for the ping-pong tournament. It’s kind of weird how Tagawa delivers invitations for an exclusive best of the best tournament in Mortal Kombat and Balls Of Fury, AND in both films, he’s working for the bad guys. It’s an eerie coincidence, if you stop and take the time to connect the dots.

Who’s the true ping-pong master? Well, Feng raises the stakes, when he orders Mahogany to kill Wolfschtagg during the final match. Wolfschtagg’s replacement? A kidnapped Maggie. Feng forces Maggie to compete against Randy in a match to the death, but Maggie refuses. The FBI invades Feng’s facility during a self-destruct sequence, and Feng is disgusted by Maggie’s refusal to compete against Randy, so Feng decides to challenge Randy in a ping-pong match to the death to determine Wong’s greatest pupil.

But there’s a catch to Feng’s match. Randy and Feng must wear Feng’s custom made electronic vests, and the loser is electrocuted to death at the end of the match. On a rickety bridge, a one-armed Randy (Rodriguez broke one of Randy’s arms, because Randy wanted an excuse to quit before the final match) defeats Feng with a backhand serve. Feng falls into the lake below with his vest intact, and he’s electrocuted to death. Randy celebrates in a departing boat with Maggie, and to end the movie, Wong reopens his ping-pong school to teach new students. Long story short, traditional ping-pong enthusiasts trashed Wong’s school, because teaching a “gringo” (Randy) is forbidden in Chinatown.

Did any of this surprise anyone? We all knew Randy would face off against Feng, and we all knew he would win with some miraculous Hail Mary comeback. Randy and Maggie falling in love and sharing a big kiss? Yep. That’s another moment you could see coming from a mile away. Is the finale for Balls Of Fury a horrific and unbearable train wreck? No, but it’s hard to ignore the mundane step by step through the motions predictability.

Balls Of Fury has its moments. Most of the laughs come from Walken as Feng, and Fogler is a tolerable leading man. I can’t think of any true gut busters in Balls Of Fury, but watching Randy face off against a small girl (The Dragon), who’s the most feared ping-pong player in Chinatown put a smile on my face. Plus, Mahogany’s recurring gag with the poisonous darts brought some snickers out of me, and the misfire during the Maggie/Randy match is just priceless.

Still, I can’t go with a positive score for Balls Of Fury. Yes, Balls Of Fury put a smile on my face a few times, but in the grand scheme of things, the laughs are too inconsistent. I didn’t have a problem with Mahogany’s poison dart killing sprees, but the barrage of lowbrow antics hit a too tiresome point for me at the forty-seven minute mark.

I said this before, but George Lopez was too much for me, because he’s unbearably annoying as Rodriguez. And the cheap laughs approach for constantly using the word “balls” didn’t work on me. Walken brings his A game in the leading role, and without him, Balls Of Fury could’ve been worse, because he‘s the anchor for Balls Of Fury. Without Walken, this one sinks to the bottom of the deep end, fast.

Rating: 3/10

Michael Jordan had another run with the Wizards after winning six championships. Brett Favre was one step away from earning a second ring with the Vikings.

As the world's definitive multi-talented superstar athlete, Trisha Bunrastar is taking an unexpected and shocking leap into a new career path. Assuming the identity of Freechelle Fantabulous, Trisha vows to fight crime and battle evildoers as a superheroine. Will she conquer her new mission? Find out more here! http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFLI6VK

Or take a trip into my special world of madness that includes comedy, horror, and the supernatural in this collection of short stories- http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFMYZ0U

Remember Amazon offers free Kindle App downloads for various platforms. Follow this link to find out more- http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html?ie=UTF8&docId=1000493771

And don't forget to follow me on Twitter here- https://twitter.com/LQuigleyFan1

A Haunted House (2013)(Minor Spoilers Review)

**This review contains MINOR spoilers, no character deaths, plot twists, or major reveals**

After a series of paranormal disturbances in their new home, Malcolm (Marlon Wayans) and Kisha (Essence Atkins) seek the help of Dan (David Koechner) and Bob (Dave Sheridan), a duo of brothers, who install security cameras for a living, while Dan tries to push a paranormal reality show at the same time, Chip (Nick Swardson), a psychic, Father Doug Williams (Cedric The Entertainer), and Malcolm‘s “gangster” cousin, Ray-Ray (Affion Crockett).

As a happy couple, Kisha and Malcolm are forced to deal with problems from the housekeeper, Rosa (Marlene Forte), and some awkward interruptions from Steve (Andrew Daly) and Jenny (Alanna Ubach), a swinging married couple. As time passes, it’s clear a malevolent entity is stalking Malcolm and Kisha, and moving into another house won’t solve the problem.

Whacky. That’s best word to describe the performances here. You’ll see a lot of whacky, and over the top silliness from the cast, but it’s a spoof horror comedy, so you have to expect that, I guess.

I know A Haunted House is supposed to be an over the top film, but overkill is a real problem here. A prime example is a lame running gag with Nick Swardson’s Chip and Malcolm. Every time the lights go out, there’s a panic in the dark. And when the lights pop on again, Chip is clinging to (or trying to) Malcolm in some random sexual position, because Chip is obviously attracted to Malcolm.

Although, A Haunted House deserves some credit for noticeable attention to detail spoofs. A Haunted House spoofs The Devil Inside, The Blair Witch Project, and Paranormal Activity. Paranormal Activity is the main story arc for the spoofs used in this film, and the noticeable effort to mimic the Paranormal films really surprised me. Trust me, A Haunted House isn’t a great film by any stretch of the imagination, but I’ll give credit where credit is due for the detailed step by step process of imitating other horror films. And kudos to A Haunted House for maintaining feelings of authenticity for the found-footage POV style throughout the movie.

Still, A Haunted House was too hit and miss for me. I won’t sit here and lie to you, because I DID laugh pretty hard a few times. But when the forty minute mark for A Haunted House rolled around, I was beyond burnt out on the goofy lunacy and constant barrage of slapstick gags. Although, if you’re looking for non-stop outrageousness, A Haunted House won’t disappoint you at all. There’s more than enough raunchy and vulgar humor, sex gags, and in-your-face buffoonery during the one hour and twenty-six minutes runtime.

Marlon Wayans returns to his Scary Movie roots with this horror spoof. And if you’re wondering, yes, A Haunted House is better than the neutered Scary Movie films (Scary Movie 3, 4, and 5), but in the grand scheme of things, that’s not a major accomplishment to brag about.

Rating: 4/10

Michael Jordan had another run with the Wizards after winning six championships. Brett Favre was one step away from earning a second ring with the Vikings.

As the world's definitive multi-talented superstar athlete, Trisha Bunrastar is taking an unexpected and shocking leap into a new career path. Assuming the identity of Freechelle Fantabulous, Trisha vows to fight crime and battle evildoers as a superheroine. Will she conquer her new mission? Find out more here! http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFLI6VK

Or take a trip into my special world of madness that includes comedy, horror, and the supernatural in this collection of short stories- http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFMYZ0U

And remember Amazon offers free Kindle App downloads for various platforms. Follow this link to find out more- http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html?ie=UTF8&docId=1000493771

Follow me on Twitter here- https://twitter.com/LQuigleyFan1

And don't forget to like both of my Facebook pages, because the Mitch MacReady 2 Facebook page includes quotes from both ebooks that can't fit into Tweets- https://www.facebook.com/mitch.macready

A Haunted House (2013)(Spoiler Review)

**This review contains spoilers**

Prepairing to start their new life together, Malcolm (Marlon Wayans) invites his girlfriend, Kisha (Essence Atkins) to move in with him. But the happy couple encounter a series of unexplainable incidents in the new home. With limited options available, a frightened Kisha pushes Malcolm to seek help from the paranormal investigation field.

Kisha and Malcolm seek help from Dan (David Koechner) and Bob (Dave Sheridan), a duo of brothers, who install security cameras for a living, while Dan tries to push a paranormal reality show as ghost busters at the same time, Chip (Nick Swardson), a psychic, Father Doug Williams (Cedric The Entertainer), and Malcolm‘s “gangster” cousin, Ray-Ray (Affion Crockett). Kisha and Malcolm are forced to deal with problems from the housekeeper, Rosa (Marlene Forte), and some awkward interruptions from Steve (Andrew Daly) and Jenny (Alanna Ubach), a swinging married couple. As time passes, it’s clear a malevolent entity is stalking Malcolm and Kisha, and the situation becomes more complex, when Kisha reveals secrets in her dark past……..

Whacky. That’s best word to describe the performances here. You’ll see a lot of whacky, and over the top silliness from the cast, but it’s a spoof horror comedy, so you have to expect that, I guess.

I know A Haunted House is supposed to be an over the top film, but overkill is a real problem here. A prime example is a lame running gag with Nick Swardson’s Chip and Malcolm. Every time the lights go out, there’s a panic in the dark. And when the lights pop on again, Chip is clinging to (or trying to) Malcolm in some random sexual position, because Chip is obviously attracted to Malcolm.

Although, A Haunted House deserves some credit for noticeable attention to detail spoofs. A Haunted House spoofs The Devil Inside, The Blair Witch Project, and Paranormal Activity. Paranormal Activity is the main story arc for the spoofs used in this film, and the noticeable effort to mimic the Paranormal films really surprised me. A Haunted House mirrors everything from the camera angles, to the security camera footage, falling furniture, recreating entire scenes from the Paranormal films step by step, the final moments of the first film, and Katie and Kristi’s backstory as a child. As a child, Kisha had an imaginary friend/invisible demon named Tony as a friend, and of course Tony is the invisible demon, who’s tormenting Malcolm and Kisha in their new home. If you remember the Paranormal films, Toby is the name of the invisible demon, who befriended Katie and Kristi. Nice touch.

Remember the ending to The Blair Witch Project with an emotionless Mike standing still in a corner? Well they also spoof that scene here with Bob standing in a corner. Of course, the big difference is Bob is urinating. And kudos to A Haunted House for maintaining feelings of authenticity for the found-footage POV style throughout the movie.

Plus, I got a few good chuckles out of the scene where Malcolm and Kisha ignore the demon. The scene happens towards the end of the movie, and while Malcolm and Kisha are sitting around in the kitchen, the demon strikes by opening drawers, throwing pots and pans around, and destroying everything. Instead of freaking out, Malcolm and Kisha calmly ignore the demon in an attempt to get under his skin (i.e. Malcolm commenting on the new plastic drinking cups, preventing the demon from breaking more glass). Hilarious moment, because in every paranormal/haunting horror film, you see the exact opposite reaction for this scenario.  

Still, A Haunted House was too hit and miss for me. I won’t sit here and lie to you, because I DID laugh pretty hard a few times. But when the forty minute mark for A Haunted House rolled around, I was beyond burnt out on the goofy lunacy and constant barrage of slapstick gags. Although, if you’re looking for non-stop outrageousness, A Haunted House won’t disappoint you at all. There’s more than enough raunchy and vulgar humor, sex gags, and in-your-face buffoonery during the one hour and twenty-six minutes runtime. So yeah, you’ll get your fill on an orgy scene, Malcolm and Kisha sharing weed with a demon, and demon rape.

Marlon Wayans returns to his Scary Movie roots with this horror spoof. And if you’re wondering, yes, A Haunted House is better than the neutered Scary Movie films (Scary Movie 3, 4, and 5), but in the grand scheme of things, that’s not a major accomplishment to brag about.

Rating: 4/10

Michael Jordan had another run with the Wizards after winning six championships. Brett Favre was one step away from earning a second ring with the Vikings.

As the world's definitive multi-talented superstar athlete, Trisha Bunrastar is taking an unexpected and shocking leap into a new career path. Assuming the identity of Freechelle Fantabulous, Trisha vows to fight crime and battle evildoers as a superheroine. Will she conquer her new mission? Find out more here! http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFLI6VK

Or take a trip into my special world of madness that includes comedy, horror, and the supernatural in this collection of short stories- http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFMYZ0U

And remember Amazon offers free Kindle App downloads for various platforms. Follow this link to find out more- http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html?ie=UTF8&docId=1000493771

Follow me on Twitter here- https://twitter.com/LQuigleyFan1

And don't forget to like both of my Facebook pages, because the Mitch MacReady 2 Facebook page includes quotes from both ebooks that can't fit into Tweets- https://www.facebook.com/mitch.macready