**This review contains spoilers**
After a three year hiatus, Sara (Sara Paxton) returns to her family’s vacation home in the Louisiana Gulf with six friends for a weekend of fun. Taking a break from the heavy workload at Tulane University, Nick (Dustin Milligan), Beth (Katharine McPhee), Gordon (Joel David Moore), Blake (Chris Zylka), Malik (Sinqua Walls), and his girlfriend, Maya (Alyssa Diaz) join Sara, but at the local convenience store, Malik has a tense confrontation with Sara’s old boyfriend, Dennis (Chris Carmack). Dennis’ best friend, Red (Joshua Leonard) tries to goad Malik into a fist fight, but Sara is able to defuse the tension.
At the lake house, Sheriff Sabin (Donal Logue) takes a trip down memory lane with Sara, but a peaceful day of fun takes a horrifying turn for the worst during a near fatal shark attack involving Malik. With no cell phone reception, Nick uses his limited knowledge as a pre-med student to stabilize Malik. Nick, Malik, Maya, and Sara take a risky boat ride to the mainland through shark infested waters for one last chance to save Malik before he bleeds to death, but a shark jeopardizes the rescue mission, as Malik’s bloods drips into the water……
Looking for a set of refreshing characters? Well, you should look somewhere else, because you won’t find them in Shark Night. Nick is the shy nerd, who’s trying to pursue the hot and innocent blonde (Sara). Malik is the tough guy jock, Blake is the egotistical pretty boy, Gordon is the geek, who’s suppose to provide comic relief, and Beth is the promiscuous female in the group, who’s covered in tattoos. The characters in Shark Night are horribly generic, but at the same time, Paxton is the only one, who delivers an above average or mediocre performance.
Shark Night 3D‘s story is straightforward for the most part, but you’ll see a few surprises during the final moments of the movie. So Beth and Gordon take a trip to the mainland to get some help for Malik (who’s bleeding to death from a severed arm). Beth is freaking out from the sharks, and Gordon doesn’t want Beth to be alone, so Gordon accompanies Beth on the boat ride with Dennis and Red. Here, it’s revealed Dennis and Red released the different species of sharks into the water to film real life shark attacks for an underground reality show.
Sheriff Sabin and Carl (the cashier/clerk at the convenience store) work with Dennis and Red to capture and trap helpless victims (usually college kids), so they can film their deaths from shark attacks on camera. Dennis, still bitter and seeking revenge for an accident caused by Sara during their teenage years, plans to torture Sara to death by locking her in a cage, and dumping a bucket of blood in the water for a hungry shark. Long story short, Sara ran into Dennis’ face with a jet ski years ago, and she was too ashamed to visit Dennis in the hospital during his recovery.
The Sheriff Sabin twist? Yeah, it’s genuinely shocking, and Sabin breaks the fourth wall by mentioning Shark Week and Faces Of Death as sources of inspiration. The twist with Dennis and Red as bad guys? Eh, not so much. Red is so CREEPY, and Dennis is just too shady throughout the film. The reveals for both characters aren’t shocking at all, because a. both characters are too unlikable and b. the foreshadowing is way too obvious.
The PG-13 rating caused a lot of complaints for Shark Night, because a lot of people believed (and still believe) a PG-13 environment restricted the gory stuff too much. Well, yeah I guess you could say Shark Night is tamed as far as blood and violence goes, but it’s not a big problem for me. The trick of using a lot of blood to fill the waters after and during shark attacks will annoy most people, but Malik’s mangled arm? Yikes. It’s a pretty nasty sight to look at, so Shark Night has enough decency to throw the gore fiends one bone.
Although, we live in an age of bloodthirsty horror fans now a days. The VAST majority of modern R rated horror films are loaded with bloody and disgusting gore, with dismembered body parts and chunks of flesh flying every where. I’m not trying to point any fingers, because I’m a gore fiend (and proud of it), but at the same time, I can still enjoy a horror film without gallons of blood and heads rolling every where. Plus, I can guarantee you most of the people (moviegoers and critics) complaining about the lack of blood and gore in this film are the same people, who would raise hell, if Shark Night was another senseless gore fest, using the “we’ve all seen this before” complaint. Yeah.
Shark Night 3D has enough stupid fun to satisfy the crowd that’s looking for a mindless joy ride. Making a smart horror film isn’t the goal here, because Shark Night takes an unrestrained approach to silliness and sporadic scenes of over the top mayhem. The lack of repulsive gore and blood will bother some horror fans, but Shark Night delivers a few jaw-dropping moments. Blake’s death is a good example. He’s riding on the jet ski, and out of nowhere, this great white shark jumps out the water, and the shark devours half of Blake’s body. Whether you hate it or love it, Shark Night 3D is gurranted to pull some “I can’t believe they just did that!” unintentional laughs out of you, and this one earned a spot on my list of guilty pleasures.
Rating: 5/10
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