Dark Skies (2013)

**This review contains spoilers**

Struggling with past due mortgage notices and the plight of unsteady jobs, Lacy Barrett (Keri Russell) and Daniel Barrett (Josh Hamilton) are trying to hold everything together. Their oldest teenage son, Jesse (Dakota Goyo) is stuck in a stubborn rebellious phase, and their youngest son, Sam (Kadan Rockett) continues to dream about mysterious visits from “The Sandman.”

As Daniel fights to secure a higher paying job, the Barrett’s become the victims of nightly intrusions. Sam blames The Sandman, but Lacy investigates to find the reasons behind the odd break-ins. Lacy’s sleuthing leads her to the conclusion of an alien invasion and planned abduction, but Daniel is hesitant to believe his wife at first. But after a meeting with Edwin Pollard (J.K. Simmons), a UFO expert, Daniel prepares to protect his family from a potential abduction. And the situation becomes more serious, when Lacy and Daniel discover the main target for The Grey's (another name for the species of aliens targeting The Barretts) looming abduction: Sam.

Keri Russell easily delivers the best performance in the leading role, and the rest of the cast is decent enough. But Goyo is kind of annoying as the rebellious teenage punk. J.K. Simmons’ screen time is limited to cameo status. It’s a shame, because the Edwin character had some real promise as the eccentric and obsessed alien expert.

Before I move on, I have to point out a bizarre connection to Signs. Towards the end, Daniel FINALLY believes Lacy’s suspicions of an alien invasion. Lacy buys a dog, Daniel picks up a shotgun at the local gun store, and Daniel boards up the house to keep The Greys at bay for a while. On the night of the big invasion/abduction, Daniel, Lacy, and the kids are sitting around the table eating dinner, or their “last meal.” Daniel reminisces about the births of his two sons, and he retells stories from Sam and Jesse’s childhoods.  The aliens start to break through the boards, the dog starts barking like crazy, and Lacy rushes the kids upstairs, while Daniel fires the shotgun every five seconds. Eventually, the entire family hides in one room, and Daniel prepares for the last stand against the aliens.

In Signs, Mel Gibson and Joaquin Phoenix barricade the house with wooden boards on the night of an invasion, preparing for the last stand against the aliens. Merrill (Phoenix) and the kids had to convince Graham (Gibson) to believe in the possibility of an alien invasion. During the family’s last meal, and the alien’s intrusion, Graham reminisces about the births of his kids, and he retells childhood memories. As the aliens approach the house, the dog starts barking, but the aliens murder the dog (guessing, because they don’t actually show the aliens harming the dog in Signs). Graham, Merrill, and the kids hide in the basement, and they prepare for the last stand.

PLEASE, tell me I’m not the only one, who noticed the similarities? Both scenarios are SO similar. The guy doesn’t want to believe in the possibility of aliens, so someone close had to convince him. The man of the house has to find his courage to protect the family in a last stand, while recalling precious memories one last time. The aliens target a kid in BOTH films, and the family in Dark Skies has a dog! Again, I’m probably jumping to wild conclusions. I’m not accusing Scott Stewart (the writer and director for Dark Skies) of plagiarism, but as the grand finale unfolded, I started connecting the dots to Signs, and the similarities just blew me away.

And speaking of the grand finale, there’s a nice twist at the end. So the story wants you to believe the aliens are coming after Sam, they won‘t take no for an answer, and the foreshadowing is VERY obvious. Well, when they aliens finally show up in a big group at the end, they are determined to take one kid from Lacy and Daniel…..but Jesse is the victim, not Sam. Through a series of flashbacks, Dark Skies pieces together the puzzle for the reasons behind Jesse’s abduction, and this twist was genuinely shocking for me, because I didn’t see it coming.

The trailers kind of worried me a few months ago, but when you actually see the footage in the movie, everything is different. The scene where Kerri Russell bangs her head against the glass door is really creepy and unsettling. The scene with the flock of birds crashing into the house is short, but at the same time, it’s intense, and Russell’s panicked reaction pulled everything together. 

Is Dark Skies a great movie? No. No, it’s not. In fact, if you plan on watching this film, you should wait for the DVD, Blu-Ray, Netflix, or wait for the release on various internet VOD services. BUT Dark Skies surprised the hell out of me. Truth be told, I went into this film with very low expectations, but Dark Skies is an enjoyable sci-fi thriller. Stewart provides the perfect chilling and eerie atmosphere throughout this film, and Dark Skies features a few decent jump scares every now and then. Although, the overexposure and the annoying “THIS IS WHAT THE ALIENS ARE PLANNING. WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING!!!” foreshadowing really irritated me at times. Still, Dark Skies held my attention for one hour and thirty-five minutes, and I was on the edge of my seat during the pulse-pounding finale.    


 Final Rating: 7/10

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013)

As children, Hansel and Gretel are rushed into the forest by their father one night. Hansel and Gretel are forced into an underground hiding space, and their father leaves them alone in an effort to protect his wife, but he never returns.

Eventually, Hansel and Gretel are lured into a house made of candy. But an evil witch is lurking inside, and she captures and plans to cook Hansel and Gretel alive. Gretel escapes, rescues her brother, and a magical spell prevents the witch from killing Gretel. Hansel and Gretel turn the tables on the evil witch, tossing her inside the oven for a slow and painful death. After the deaths of their mother and father, Hansel and Gretel are forced to live on their own.

Many years later, Hansel (Jeremy Renner) and Gretel (Gemma Arterton) are popular and deadly witch hunters motivated by revenge and a hatred for witches. Hansel and Gretel’s services are needed in a small town with an alarming missing children’s problem. Witches are the prime suspects, and Hansel saves a local townswoman named Mina (Pihla Viitala) from an execution. Mina is the prime suspect at first, but things change, when Muriel (Famke Janssen) comes into the picture. Hansel and Gretel will have to fight off the local sheriff and his men, and uncover the mystery behind Muriel’s diabolical plans before it’s too late. As an obsessed fan, Ben (Thomas Mann) lends a helping hand, but Muriel’s powers and loyal minions will give Hansel and Gretel their toughest challenge yet. 

First of all, I loved, loved, LOVED Famke Janssen here. Her performance just flowed so naturally, and Janssen’s delightfully wicked portrayal of Muriel is fun to watch. Renner was okay as the typical bad ass hunter with a mean streak, and Arterton was just eye candy for the most part. She had a few moments as the “woman, who can defend herself, and not take shit from anybody“, but overall, Arterton’s good looks triumphed over her acting skills for the Gretel character. Thomas Mann is entertaining as the goofy fanboy, but Janssen is the true star of this cast.

I enjoyed Witch Hunters cheesy comedy, and this film brought a few good laughs out of me. Yeah, the jokes are corny, but Hansel & Gretel is a parody film, so you have to expect the constant barrage of over the top silliness. Also, I took a chance on the 3D, and I’m glad I did. Witch Hunters features some cool 3D effects, and you’ll see a good amount of body parts and splatters of blood flying at you here.

BUT I will admit, Witch Hunters takes an awkward turn, when Muriel transforms into a full-blown witch for the first time. As full-blown witches, Muriel and her minions are supposed to inspire fear, but the witch form of Muriel didn’t disgust me. And on the flip-side of that, the witch forms for Muriel and her followers didn’t cross the “too goofy” line for me. In fact, I thought Janssen and her minions were kind of attractive as witches, but that’s just me.

A part of me wants to give this film a ten, but I can’t, because I know it’s not that good, not by a long shot. Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters puts a spin on the famous fairy tale with gruesome and bloody violence, and I love mindless fun horror comedies, so Witch Hunters was a great guilty pleasure for me. 

Final Rating: 6/10

Movie 43 (2013)

**This review contains spoilers**


Charlie Wessler (Dennis Quaid) is down on his luck. Charlie tries to pitch a unique idea for a movie to Griffin Schraeder (Greg Kinnear), a film executive. Charlie proposes an idea that would involve various comedy shorts featuring notable Hollywood stars. Charlie’s edginess and vulgarity is too much for Griffin, but Charlie forces Griffin into a meeting to discuss the film at gunpoint. Griffin must convince his boss, Bob (Common) to buy the movie, and he must interrupt a very important meeting with Seth MacFarlane to do so. Charlie needs the money and fame to resurrect his career, and “The Pitch” could give him one more shot at stardom.

Movie 43 is not funny. I might as well get that out of the way now, because I’ll probably go on another long rant. Movie 43 tries WAY too hard. Being outrageous and vulgar is one thing, but when you constantly shove gross-out gags and profane comedy down the audience’s throat, the jokes just lose their shock factor after a while. Movie 43 is a prime example for one of the worst cases of overkill I’ve ever seen in any type of movie. And here come the examples (in no specific order, just picking out the worst ones)!

#1- Beth (Kate Winslet) is looking for the right guy, so she goes on a blind date with Davis (Hugh Jackman), a wealthy and successful businessman. Beth is overwhelmed with joy…..until Davis removes his scarf to reveal a scrotum attached to his chin.

My Thoughts: Eh, the shock factor of seeing Hugh Jackman with a scrotum attached to his chin wore off pretty quickly for me. It wasn’t funny, and the over the top antics didn’t help anything. And for some strange reason Beth is the ONLY person, who notices, and has a problem with Davis’ unusual condition? Okay then. I’ll give Kate Winslet and Jackman credit for effort, but Jackman’s freak show carny character wasn‘t funny. In fact, the bearded lady would’ve been a better choice.

#2- Jason (Chris Pratt) and Vanessa (Anna Faris) have plans to take their relationship to the next level. During a picnic, Jason prepares to propose to Vanessa, but before he can pop the big question, Vanessa reveals her fantasy: she wants Jason to defecate on her. Jason is the loyal husband, so he decides to honor Vanessa’s request by loading up on Mexican food and a liquid laxative. But Jason and Vanessa run into some problems on the big night.

My Thoughts: What…the fuck? Truth be told, I knew the big secret behind this short, because I watched the red band trailers. STILL, this. Was. Not. Funny! The shitty conclusion (no pun intended) involves Jason running out into the street to catch Vanessa after an argument. And as he’s chasing his girlfriend, Jason is hit by a car in the rear, and Jason has an accident on impact. Pratt and Faris are married in real life, so I guess they felt comfortable doing this bizarre short with each other. But I couldn’t get into this. I just couldn’t. There’s a scene, where Jason discusses the strategy for the big night with his friends during a barbecue, while Vanessa decorates a cake with poo colored frosting. Yeah.

3#- Emily (Halle Berry) and Donald (Stephen Merchant) are on a blind date at a Mexican restaurant. Emily and Donald met each other through an online dating service, but Emily is bored during the date, so she decides to spice things up with a risky game of truth or dare.

My Thoughts: Overkill is a reoccurring  problem for Movie 43, and this short is a prime example of the second biggest problem here. The game of truth or dare between Emily and Donald wasn’t bad at first. Emily dares Donald to grab a guy’s butt, and Donald dares Emily to blow out the candles on a blind kid’s birthday cake. But they ran the dare gimmick into the ground. Halle Berry fills up a turkey baster with hot sauce, and she sticks it in her……well, just use your imagination. And somehow they managed to top the awfulness of that dare with dueling plastic surgery dares between Emily and Donald. Halley Berry’s prosthetic, floppy, and large breasts brought a facepalm out of me, and during another dare, Berry dips her breasts in guacamole sauce.

4#- Robert (Liev Schreiber) and Samantha (Naomi Watts) are home schooling their son, Kevin (Jeremy Allen White). But Robert and Samantha’s odd methods raise some serious questions for two visiting neighbors.

My Thoughts: Well, Robert and Samantha are home schooling Kevin, but they decide to bully him at the same time. That’s right. And the methods of bullying include, but are not limited to, tying Kevin to  a flagpole in the front yard, using feces to write obscenities on his chest, locking him outside of the house during a party, and teasing incest. Again, I tried to laugh, but I just couldn’t.

Movie 43 is a giant shit-fest. The novelty of popular celebrities humiliating themselves didn’t last long for me. In fact, this novelty wore off in the first fifteen minutes. I was HOPING for Movie 43 to get better as time passed, but it didn’t. Also, Snooki has a cameo in this film.

The superhero skit was incredibly lame, because it revolved around Batman being a dick, and a lame running joke about Kristen Bell’s private parts. Chloe Grace Moretz and Christopher Mintz-Plasse’s short was an abomination. Moretz’s character experiences her first period, and for some asinine reason everyone panics? And the solution is to use one of those micro fiber mops as a cork to stop Moretz’s “problem.” The Leprechaun short with Johnny Knoxville, Sean William Scott, and Gerard Butler was hideous, and they ran every dick joke imaginable into the ground. The iBabe garbage was beyond stupid. In short, it’s a storyline about life sized iPods with naked women. Kate Bosworth and Richard Gere are executives of the company for the iBabe. Bosworth is trying to shut down production, because teenage males are injuring themselves by playing with the bottom half of the iBabe.

And the commercials within the movie just felt like a big waste of time. The iBabe commercials showed another naked woman, and the black and white commercial with office workers spitting on underprivileged children, who operate copying machines couldn‘t pull the intended shock value laugh out of me. Also, they just had to throw in the predictable and lame post-credits blooper/gag reel featuring the entire cast.

But stick around after the credits, because Movie 43 has one more trick up its sleeve! Elizabeth Banks’ character is in a committed and loving relationship with Josh Duhamel’s character. But there’s one problem…… Anson’s (Duhamel) homosexual cat named Beezel is attracted to his owner, and Beezel hates Amy (Banks) for coming between them. Oh, and the cat is animated (I’m not kidding). Beezel is shown in some pretty graphic sexual situations for an animated cat. Beezel uses a hairbrush to cope with (use your imagination) the thought of losing Anson, and Beezel’s actions left me speechless, but not for good reasons, though. The final scene involves Amy walking into a trap set up by Beezel, leading to a fight between the two, and Amy is beaten to death by a group of children at a birthday party? Seriously? And the children use party favors to murder Amy. 

I honestly can’t imagine someone having any middle ground for Movie 43. You’re going to hate it, or you’re going to love it. It’s that simple. And I hated it, easily the biggest turkey of 2013 so far. Ugh, I can’t believe I wasted time watching this. 

Final Rating: 0/10

A Good Day To Die Hard (2013)

After carrying out an assassination in Russia, CIA agent Jack McClane (Jai Courtney) is arrested, and imprisoned with Yuri Komarov (Sebastian Koch). Yuri possesses the knowledge of a file that could ruin Chargarin (Sergei Kolesnikov), a prestigious and corrupt Russian official.

But during the trial for Jack and Yuri, Chargarin’s henchmen attempt an assassination by blowing up the courthouse housing Jack and Yuri. Led by his trusted number one man Alik (Radivoje Burkvic), Chargain’s henchmen fail to execute Jack and Yuri after a last second save from Jack’s father, John McClane (Bruce Willis).

John is taking a vacation to Russia to save his only son, while his daughter, Lucy (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) waits in America. Does John have one more run in him? Or is old age and advanced weaponry too much for the aging veteran? 

It's not as bad as the critics are making it out to be, but A Good Day To Die Hard isn't something to brag about either. It's the weakest film in the entire franchise, and it's not even close.

Die Hard is known for having some memorable villains, but the antagonists in this film are beyond dull. Alik does a dance, while eating a carrot, and kicking away Jack and John's guns. Yeah.

A Good Day To Die Hard hard is loaded with flashy and over the top explosions, car chases, and action sequences. Die Hard 5 wanted to be the quintessential Hollywood action movie, but the end result was an underwhelming popcorn flick.

Most of the good action sequences are shown in the trailers, and overall, Die Hard 5 is pretty dull. You'll only see Mary Elizabeth Winstead at the very beginning and the very end. But Jack was the focal point of this film, so her limited screen time makes sense. And speaking of Jack, Jai Courtney wouldn't be a good choice to inherit the franchise, as the next McClane. Oh, and Willis tacks on a "yippee ki-yay motherfucker" at the end for the sake of nostalgia. But it was so random and forced, and hearing John's signature catchphrase again didn't do anything for me.

Final Rating: 4/10

EXTRA TIDBIT: Been thinking it over, and Die Hard 5 deserves a lower score. A five was too generous. 

Thank You

Was trying to do this earlier, but I had some problems with Firefox.

My review for The Haunting In Connecticut 2: Ghosts Of Georgia received my second highest view count for a single review ever. I really didn't enjoy the movie, but as always, I'm happy you took the time to read the review, and hopefully, you enjoyed it. Also, I finally broke my streak of not going to the movie theater, so Movie 43 and Hansel & Gretel Witch Hunters are coming up! And thanks again!

MMR

Twixt (2011)

Hall Baltimore (Val Kilmer) is an alcoholic and struggling horror novelist, who’s stuck in a deep depression after his young daughter’s untimely death. The latest entry in his witch hunting series is a failure, and Hall’s overzealous wife, Denise (Joanne Whalley) is trying to figure out a solution for the stacks of overdue bills.

Desperate, Hall agrees to host a book signing in a small town’s hardware store. Eventually, Hall teams up with the local sheriff to write a new horror novel on vampires. But during a series of dreams, Hall uncovers unsolved  murder mysteries and the evil intentions of a local gothic cult.

In his dreams, Hall forms a bond with Edgar Allan Poe (Ben Chaplin), and a vampiric girl named V (Elle Fanning). With Poe and V’s help, Hall learns more secrets, and Hall uses his dreams as an inspiration for the new vampire novel. Ignoring all warnings, Hall digs deeper into the mystery during his dreams, while enduring some intense pressure from his antsy publisher. Will Hall succumb to the pressure of producing a new hit? Or is solving the local murder mystery more important? 

Some critics peg Godfather III as the beginning of a downfall for Francis Ford Coppola’s career. But those complaints are over exaggerated, because it’s hard (or damn near impossible) to follow in the footsteps of Godfather and Godfather II. No, Jack (that shitty comedy with Robin Williams and Jennifer Lopez) is the low point in Coppola’s career. Unfortunately, you won’t see Godfather III Coppola here. Instead, you’ll see Jack Coppola.

Coppola had great success in the horror genre with Bram Stoker’s Dracula, but  Coppola’s directing for Twixt isn’t something to brag about. The CGI is very cheap and tacky, the split screen web cam point of view reaches the point of overkill during the early stages of the movie, and the blending of vibrant colors in a black and white setting didn’t do anything for me. During Hall’s dream sequences, you’ll see bright yellow lemons, red splatters of blood, and Edgar Allan Poe’s glowing lantern. Meanwhile, the backdrop of each scene is black and white. This technique didn’t help Twixt‘s frightless atmosphere. The blending of colors just made everything feel more cartoonish.

Coppola will always be remembered as a great director, and rightfully so. But his style for Twixt is VERY bland and dull, and I honestly can’t think of one good jump scare from this film. I think it‘s safe to say we‘ll never see Godfather or Apocalypse Now Coppola again, and Tetro (in 2008 or 2009, I think) was his last watchable film.

I didn’t care about, or like any of the characters here. You can feel for Hall, as the grieving father and struggling writer. But as the story develops, Hall turns into this sleazy douchebag, who’ll do anything to find inspiration for his new book. Elle Fanning’s V is too shallow, and her character receives some of the worst dialogue in this entire movie. The sheriff and his deputy are gullible hillbillies, and the sheriff constantly succumbs to his awestruck feelings for the big-time writer from the city. Denise is the typical nagging and overbearing wife, Hall’s publisher is the pushy boss, and Chaplin’s Poe is a lifeless imitation of the famous poet. The cast deserves a lot of credit for effort, but the characters were poorly written, and I saw one too many stereotypes throughout this film. 

Coppola also wrote the screenplay, and Twixt’s muddled story is really frustrating. Twixt is supposed to be a murder mystery with supernatural elements, but it’s hard to stay in suspension of disbelief mode. The story takes so many wild and silly turns, and after a while, I couldn’t take this film seriously anymore. The dialogue veers into campy territory too often, causing some really awkward and unintentional funny moments, and the grand finale is so contrived and underwhelming.

In the end, Twixt is a boring and bland horror film with horrendous special effects, and no real jump scares, suspense, or tension. Jack is still my pick for Coppola’s worst film as director, but Twixt is a close second, and that’s saying something.

 Final Rating: 1/10

The Haunting In Connecticut 2: Ghosts Of Georgia (2013)

In 1993, the Wyrick family prepares to move into their new home, and Lisa Wyrick (Abigail Spencer) continues to fight a series of supernatural visions. The new home is in the backwoods of Georgia, and Lisa’s sister, Joyce (Katee Sackhoff) moves into the rundown trailer home in the front yard.

The Wyrick’s and Joyce don’t encounter any major problems at first, but when Lisa’s daughter, Heidi (Emily Alyn Lind) experiences her mother’s supernatural visions, the Wyricks and Joyce fear the worst. The situation becomes more complicated, when Heidi forms a bond with an imaginary friend named Mr. Gordy. After a visit from the local pastor, the Wyricks and Joyce learn the truth about the troubled past for their new house: the land surrounding the Wyrick’s home housed runaway slaves in an Underground Railroad station. Mr. Gordy was a real person, and a relative of Mr. Gordy was the Stationmaster. Mr. Gordy’s relative was an obsessive taxidermist, and he was murdered for protecting the runaway slaves.

Heidi’s father, Andy (Chad Michael Murray) is trying to keep the family together, and Joyce urges Heidi to embrace the family gift. Heidi’s visions are becoming more intense, and Lisa struggles to fight her addiction to anti-depressant pills. Through a series of dreams and visions, Heidi, Lisa, and Joyce slowly unravel the mystery of  Mr. Gordy, the taxidermist, and the history of the Underground Railroad station. The women uncover shocking secrets on their path to the truth, leading them to two questions: Was Mr. Gordy’s relative really a hero? Or was he hiding something unholy beneath the Underground Railroad station?

Very solid cast overall, and Abigail Spencer delivers the strongest performance here. Sackhoff is enjoyable as the eccentric freeloader, and Cicely Tyson’s brief cameo as the blind visitor is genuinely creepy.

I have no complaints about the acting, but the directing is a mess. Director Tom Elkins convulsive style turns Ghosts Of Georgia into a massive clusterfuck. And Elkins constant  usage of random flashbacks are really annoying. Throughout this film, flashbacks constantly pop into present settings at a hectic pace, and the overwhelming barrage of footage from the past almost gave me a headache. Plus, Lisa, Joyce, and Heidi’s sporadic sightings of dead people cause too many unintentional laughs.

I guess Elkins wanted to add more intensity to this film, but his unfocused style is too distracting. A prime example of Elkins’ style hurting Ghosts Of Georgia is the calamity of flashback footage and quick cutaways during a ridiculous and over the top exorcism scene.

Overkill is another problem here. When Heidi vomits maggots, worms, roaches, other insects, and some sort of sawdust-like material, it’s a repulsive and cringing sight…….after the first time. But Ghosts Of Georgia runs the uncontrollable vomiting stuff into the ground with Joyce, Heidi, and Lisa. The “dead people, who pop out of nowhere with an emotionless demeanor ” trick is good for a few jump scares at first, but this trick loses its shock factor after thirty minutes or so.

Apparently, Ghosts Of Georgia is loosely based on real life events, and you’ll see a photo of the real Wyrick family at the very end. Basing Ghosts Of Georgia on real life events probably provided strong feelings of realism for others, but it didn’t work for me. Sorry, but the wild and over the top conclusion was too far-fetched, and Elkins directing didn’t help anything. 

It’s a shame, because Ghosts Of Georgia has a very thought-provoking  premise, and Elkins style is annoying, but I’ll give him credit for a few jump scares. And Joyce’s stitch and needles scene is really gruesome and sickening. Still, Ghosts Of Georgia is a very boring film, the runtime really drags, and one hour and forty minutes feels like an eternity.

I won’t go on a rant about the senseless Georgia part of the title, but apparently, The Haunting In Connecticut is going to devolve into another shitty straight-to-video horror series. I’m pretty sure Ghosts Of Georgia doesn’t share any ties with the original film, because I honestly didn’t notice any key details from The Haunting In Connecticut. So I guess they’re taking the stand-alone route for the next set of films, and Gold Circle (the studio) already revealed the title for the new film: The Haunting In New York. I would give another Haunting film a chance, but I’m not happy about the choice for the new screenwriter. It’s Sean Hood, and for those of you, who don’t know, Hood is the same guy, who co-wrote the epic turd known as Halloween: Resurrection. Oh, and please don’t add Connecticut to the title again, because The Haunting In Connecticut 3: Ghosts Of New York just sounds silly.  

Final Rating: 3/10

Silent Night, Deadly Night 3: Better Watch Out! (1989)

**SPOILERS**

Sorry I've been absent for a while, but I've been busy job hunting, and it's a time consuming pain in the ass. Coming back with some more reviews, so be on the lookout!

Six years after the events of Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2, Ricky Caldwell (Bill Moseley) is still in a coma. Ricky was presumed dead after the gunshot wounds, but Dr. Newbury (Richard Beymer) surgically reconstructed Ricky’s deformed brain. Dr. Newbury and his assistant revived basic functions with a machine attached to Ricky’s head, but Newbury wanted more.

Dr. Newbury developed an obsession for Ricky, so in an attempt to bring him back to the real world, Dr. Newbury began conducting a series of experiments with a psychic. With the help of some persistent goading from Dr. Newbury, Laura Anderson (Samantha Scully), a blind clairvoyant,  reluctantly uses her powers to form a connection with the comatose Ricky. Laura is frightened by Ricky’s childhood memories, and after a series of lifelike nightmares, where Ricky hunts Laura as his primary victim, Laura contemplates leaving  Dr. Newbury’s mission to study Ricky.

On Christmas Eve, Laura, her brother Chris (Eric Da Re), and his new girlfriend, Jerri (Laura Harring) take the annual trip to their grandmother’s house for Christmas Day. Meanwhile, Ricky is taunted by the hospital’s sleazy Santa Claus. Santa triggers a reaction from Ricky, and once Ricky awakes from his coma, he brutally murders the Santa Claus. In the lobby, Ricky notices the receptionist’s red flower pin, steals her letter opener, and Ricky uses the letter opener to murder the receptionist. Eventually, Ricky hitchhikes a ride, but the driver shows Ricky his hand knitted red Christmas sweater. After murdering the driver and stealing his clothes, Ricky decides to pay a visit to Laura’s grandmother.

Laura is still haunted by Ricky’s childhood memories, and during Dr. Newbury’s experiments, Laura unknowingly developed a telekinetic connection with Ricky. Dr. Newbury teams up with Lt. Connely (Robert Culp) to stop Ricky, but Newbury will do everything in his power to take Ricky alive. Laura, Chris, and Jerri arrive at Granny Anderson’s (Elizabeth Hoffman) house, but Granny’s unusual  disappearance creates an unsettling Christmas Eve atmosphere. Ricky is waiting for the right moment, and things take a turn for the worst, when Chris’ red jeep disappears……..  

Technically, Ricky is the main character in this film, but the story revolves around Laura, and I give the nod to Scully for the best performance in this film. Scully showcases her eardrum, shattering shrieking skills throughout this film, and she’s believable as the sympathetic victim. Moseley is mostly known for his role in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, and more recently, Texas Chainsaw 3D. Also, Moseley worked with Rob Zombie in the past (House Of 1,000 Corpses & The Devil’s Rejects). The replacement Mother Superior in Part 2 annoys me, but Ricky is brain-dead in this film, so you can’t expect any familiar characteristics from Billy’s brother here. Moseley’s dialogue is mostly limited to slow whispers of “Laura,” and it might work for some people, but I can’t buy into Moseley’s silent and zombified deadly killer act. It’s not his fault, though. I blame that fucking ridiculous contraption on the top of his head. Ricky’s brain machine is so cartoonish, and it looks like something out of a bad sci-fi movie. Here take a look:

                               


You won’t see much of her, but Elizabeth Hoffman is spot on as Granny Anderson, and Laura Harring is okay as Jerri. Eric Da Re is just there, and I guess they wanted someone, who embodied the look of an 80’s rock star. Dr. Newbury is a douchebag. A creepy douchebag, but he’s still a douchebag. Plus, Beymer’s pompous “I’m studying Ricky for the good of mankind!” shtick brings too many unintentional laughs out of me. And Robert Culp’s lighthearted approach towards the hard ass cop persona is enjoyable.

Better Watch Out! is the first serious film in the Silent Night, Deadly Night franchise. No corny one-liners, or over the top characters, and the hammy 80’s slasher routine is toned down. Also, Better Watch Out! is the first Silent Night film to drop the killer Santa Claus theme.

I appreciate the effort for change here. The telekinetic connection storyline with Laura and Ricky is something different, BUT the execution in this film is just horrible. During the trip to Granny’s house, Connely and Dr. Newbury go back and forth during a series of annoying arguments about morals and science. I can’t comprehend the point of the “Ricky’s  future” duel between Newbury and Connely. Connely obviously won’t respect Newbury’s opinions, and Newbury is too smug and eccentric, so it’s hard to take him seriously.

Laura has psychic powers. I get that, but Part 3 dropped the ball, because Laura NEVER uses her psychic powers to thwart Ricky’s attacks, or defeat him. In fact, Laura unknowingly gave away Granny’s location, as Ricky listened to Laura’s directions to the house. And during the final confrontation with Ricky, Laura has visions of Granny urging her to use the psychic powers to defeat Ricky. Instead, Laura spends time listening to Ricky’s movements, and destroying the only light bulb in the basement to “even” the odds? And as Ricky is trying to choke Jerri to death, Laura just stands there, and accepts the inevitable?

I understand the dynamic of Ricky searching for Laura, because during his coma, Laura was the only person from the outside, who tried to bond with him. Although, you won’t see the long awaited one on one confrontation between Laura and Ricky until the very end. And everything leading up to the final showdown might put you to sleep. After Laura’s first interaction with Ricky in a nightmare, Better Watch Out! slowly goes through the motions. It’s an unbearable bore-fest, and the underwhelming climax doesn’t help anything.

When Laura, Chris, and Jerri arrive at Granny’s place, the house is empty, and Granny is missing. Laura shows concern, but instead of launching an immediate search party, Chris decides to spend time with Jerri instead. Apparently, making out with and taking a bath with Jerri is more important than your grandmother’s safety? Okay then. Chris is a clueless doofus, and of course, when he finally decides to do something about Granny’s mysterious disappearance, it’s too late. Ugh,  I always dread watching the fiasco at Granny’s house, easily the most mind-numbingly stupid series of events in this film.

Why is Ricky indestructible in this film? All of the sudden Ricky is capable of walking through windows and doors? How? While Ricky chokes Jerri, Chris stabs him with a knife. The knife goes through his arm, Ricky just pulls it out, and continues his pursuit of Laura like nothing happened? Seriously?

The violence and gore in this film is laughable. The splatters of blood in the opening nightmare sequence resemble cheap red paint, and I have the same feelings for Laura’s vision of the receptionist’s death. And I always laugh at Dr. Newbury’s “tragic” death scene…….that shouldn’t happen.

FINALLY they dropped the “attempted rapes trigger a tirade” bullshit in this film, and they used clips from Part I again, but they didn’t show any scenes in their entirety, which is a good thing. They also maintained continuity for Ricky’s character, because red and Santa Claus trigger Ricky’s killer instincts. Still, Part 3 is a pretty lousy film. Every time I decide to watch Part 3, it takes me at least a week or more to finish the entire thing, because I can’t sit through this tedious mess in one viewing. The sub-plot featuring the friction between Laura and Jerri is good for a few laughs, and Laura’s insults are hilarious. But overall, Better Watch Out! fails to meet the very low standards of straight-to-video horror. Better Watch Out! tries to be a “smart” slasher flick, but the end result is a pretentious bore with a convoluted and senseless story.

Final Rating: 2/10