V/H/S 2 (2013) (Minor Spoilers Review)

**This review contains MINOR spoilers. No major twists, reveals, or character deaths**

This is a horror anthology film, so I’ll do another separate synopses and my thoughts after each storyline breakdown review. Tape 49 is the main story arc and intro for V/H/S 2.

Tape 49

Larry (Lawrence Michael Levine) works as a private investigator with his girlfriend, Ayesha (Kelsy Abbott). Together, the duo accepts the case of a concerned mother, who’s looking for her missing son. The son is a college student, and his mother hasn’t seen or heard anything from him in one week.

Larry and Ayesha break into a seemingly abandoned house to search for more clues. In the living room, the duo stumble across an elaborate set up with television sets, VCRs, and scattered VHS tapes. While Larry searches the house for more clues pointing to the missing college student’s whereabouts, Ayesha agrees to stay in the living room to watch the tapes. Unbeknownst to Larry and Ayesha, a stranger is inside the house, waiting for the right moment to attack……

My Thoughts: Tape 49 is a basic and effective intro. This intro establishes Larry, as the bolder one in the duo, because he’s willing to take risks. On the flip side, Ayesha is more level-headed and quiet. Plus, there’s a funny moment, when Larry is trying to catch a cheating husband in the act. A maid blows Larry’s cover during the recording, and the cheating husband chases Larry to his car.

Phase I Clinical Trials

After a brutal car accident, Herman (Adam Wingard) needs an eye transplant, so he agrees to a clinical trial for a mechanical eye. The catch? The mechanical eyes is equipped with a recording chip to monitor Herman’s progress, and removing the chip isn’t an option.

On his first night with the new eye, Herman experiences a series of bizarre malfunctions. With some help from his glitchy eye, various otherworldly figures, including a dead man covered in blood, and a dead girl, invade Herman’s home. A woman named Clarissa (Hannah Hughes), who experienced similar problems after a clinical trial from the same company, offers a helping hand. Who are the otherworldly figures, and why are they stalking Herman?

My Thoughts: Phase I Clinical trials is a solid opener. Herman’s eye camera provides a unique and refreshing POV for found-footage films, and the nail-biting finale ends with a nice cliffhanger. Although, I’ll admit, the sequence of Herman hiding in his bathroom, checking the bed, and locking the bathroom door feels repetitive, because they repeat the same process over and over again.

A Ride In The Park

Mike Sullivan (Jay Saunders) is an enthusiastic cyclist. He’s preparing for his daily bike ride in the park, and Mike uses a camera attached to his helmet to record everything. Mike is feeling the heat from his neglected girlfriend, but Mike is forced to deal with a bigger problem during his bike ride. A freighted woman covered in blood pleads for help, and to make matters worse, Mike spots a horde of approaching zombies.

Mike tries to help the woman, but she’s too sick to move. Mike doesn’t have a chance to defend himself, so the zombified woman attacks. Eventually, Mike succumbs to the woman’s bites to complete his zombie transformation. Two unsuspecting bikers approach an unconscious Mike, but a simple 911 call takes a backseat to a life-or-death fight, when Mike attacks the bikers.

My Thoughts: Kudos to Eduardo Sanchez and Gregg Hale (the directors) for providing another refreshing found-footage POV. The rough cut style from Mike’s helmet camera adds a strong sense of realism, and you see every stage in Mike’s transformation into a zombie (i.e. Mike vomiting a black liquid).

Seeing everything through the eyes of a zombie is a GREAT idea for a short. A zombie POV found-footage film has a legit wow factor to it, because it’s a rare occurrence. And a short time frame is the best option for a found-footage short with a zombie POV, because the constant groaning and shuffling would reach a too tedious or boring point after thirty minutes.

Safe Haven

In Indonesia, an investigative news team plans to expose a satanic cult with a documentary and hidden cameras. Malik (Oka Antara) is the lead reporter, Malik’s best friend, Adam (Fachry Albar) is a cameraman, and Malik’s fiancée, Lena (Hannah Al Rashid) provides a helping hand as an interviewer.

Father (Epy Kusnandar) is the sadistic leader, and he’s under fire for horrible and unspeakable crimes against the children of Safe Haven. Eventually, the team unravels the dark and evil mystery behind Safe Haven, and Father’s master plan comes full circle during his final announcement……

My thoughts: Incredible. Safe Haven is loaded with so many shocking twists and turns, and the diabolical cliffhanger provides a great jaw-dropping moment. This is the minor spoilers version, so I won’t go any further with details. Just watch Safe Haven first, because you need to experience the shocking mayhem without any restraints.

Slumber Party Alien Abduction

Randy (Cohen King) and Gary (Rylan Logan) are determined to ruin their big sister’s date night with some help from their friends Shawn (Zack Ford), Danny (Josh Ingraham), and the family dog, Tank.

When mom and dad leave the house for a vacation break, Jen’s (Samantha Gracie) date with her boyfriend, Zack (Jeremie Saunders) is disrupted by a barrage of pranks, but Jen gains the upper hand with some help from Zack during a sneak attack. But the feuding siblings are forced into a truce, when a group of Grey aliens show up…………

My thoughts: Stupid. It’s one word you can use to describe this short. Why should I care about characters, who are too dumb to react to OBVIOUS warning signs? The most obvious warnings signs? Blaring horn noises in the background, flashing lights from a flying saucer, and during an underwater scene, you can see the hazy image of a Grey alien reaching towards the camera. Of course, Jen decides to call the police AFTER the aliens attack. Ugh.

Summary: When it’s all said and done, V/H/S 2 isn’t terrible, but I had bigger expectations for this. Without Safe Haven, V/H/S 2 is mediocre film at best, because Slumber Party Alien Abduction almost drags this one into the dumpster. Yeah, it’s that bad.

Still, V/H/S 2 deserves credit for using refreshing and inventive methods to justify a found-footage POV (Phase I Clinical Trials, A Ride In The Park, etc.), and V/H/S 2 should satisfy the more extreme and bloodthirsty horror fans. Nudity, an overflow of blood, and disgusting gore. You name it, and you’ll see it in V/H/S 2. V/H/S 2 is more darker and sinister than its predecessor, and Safe Haven is a must-see. If Phase I Clinical Trials and A Ride In The Park bore you, just fast forward to Safe Haven for an unforgettable experience.

Also, I hope we’ll learn more about the people collecting and making the tapes in V/H/S 3. Why are they doing this? Who are they working for? It’s time we take a trip into the rabbit hole to learn more about the tapes. As a fan of V/H/S, I’m keeping my fingers crossed, because I’m hoping V/H/S won’t fall into the Paranormal Activity trap: a runaround storyline (storylines for V/H/S) with no real pay offs in the end.

Rating: 5/10

If you're interested, you can follow this link to read the spoiler review for V/H/S (2012)-

http://mitchmacready.blogspot.com/2012/12/vhs-2012.html

Michael Jordan had another run with the Wizards after winning six championships. Brett Favre was one step away from earning a second ring with the Vikings.

As the world's definitive multi-talented superstar athlete, Trisha Bunrastar is taking an unexpected and shocking leap into a new career path. Assuming the identity of Freechelle Fantabulous, Trisha vows to fight crime and battle evildoers as a superheroine. Will she conquer her new mission? Find out more here! http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFLI6VK

Or take a trip into my special world of madness that includes comedy, horror, and the supernatural in this collection of short stories- http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFMYZ0U

Remember Amazon offers free Kindle App downloads for various platforms. Follow this link to find out more- http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html?ie=UTF8&docId=1000493771

And don't forget to follow me on Twitter here- https://twitter.com/LQuigleyFan1

V/H/S 2 (2013)(Spoiler Review)

**This review contains spoilers**

This is a horror anthology film, so I’ll do another separate synopses and my thoughts after each storyline breakdown review. Tape 49 is the main story arc and intro for V/H/S 2.

Tape 49

Larry (Lawrence Michael Levine) works as a private investigator with his girlfriend, Ayesha (Kelsy Abbott). Together, the duo accepts the case of a concerned mother, who’s looking for her missing son. The son is a college student, and his mother hasn’t seen or heard anything from him in one week.

Larry and Ayesha break into a seemingly abandoned house to search for more clues. In the living room, the duo stumble across an elaborate set up with television sets, VCRs, and scattered VHS tapes. While Larry searches the house for more clues pointing to the missing college student’s whereabouts, Ayesha agrees to stay in the living room to watch the tapes. Unbeknownst to Larry and Ayesha, a stranger is inside the house, waiting for the right moment to attack……

My Thoughts: Tape 49 is a basic and effective intro. This intro establishes Larry, as the bolder one in the duo, because he’s willing to take risks. On the flip side, Ayesha is more level-headed and quiet. Plus, there’s a funny moment, when Larry is trying to catch a cheating husband in the act. A maid blows Larry’s cover during the recording, and the cheating husband chases Larry to his car.

Phase I Clinical Trials

After a brutal car accident, Herman (Adam Wingard) needs an eye transplant, so he agrees to a clinical trial for a mechanical eye. The catch? The mechanical eyes is equipped with a recording chip to monitor Herman’s progress, and removing the chip isn’t an option.

On his first night with the new eye, Herman experiences a series of bizarre malfunctions. With some help from his glitchy eye, various otherworldly figures, including a dead man covered in blood, and a dead girl, invade Herman’s home. A woman named Clarissa (Hannah Hughes), who experienced similar problems after a clinical trial from the same company, offers a helping hand. Who are the otherworldly figures, and why are they stalking Herman?

My Thoughts: Phase I Clinical trials is a solid opener. Herman’s eye camera provides a unique and refreshing POV for found-footage films, and the nail-biting finale ends with a nice cliffhanger. Although, I’ll admit, the sequence of Herman hiding in his bathroom, checking the bed, and locking the bathroom door feels repetitive, because they repeat the same process over and over again.

How do you stop the otherworldly figures? Ignore them. Sounds simple enough, right? Well, it’s kind of hard to ignore random dead people, who are standing in your living room. Anyway, Clarissa urges Herman to ignore the otherworldly figures, because consistent attention fuels their powers, and when the meter is full, nothing can stop them from attacking their victims. So Clarissa comes up with a temporary solution for a distraction: sex with Herman. Basic, but sex provides a temporary safe net for Herman.

During a brief nap, the otherworldly figures attack Clarissa. Herman tries to rescue a drowning Clarissa, but it’s too late, and Clarissa’s lifeless body is stuck at the bottom of the pool. A frustrated Herman uses a straight edge razor to cut the mechanical eye out of his head, but the otherworldly figures overwhelm him during a struggle. The dead man covered in blood shoves Herman’s mechanical eye down his throat, and the eye malfunctions inside of Herman to end the short.

The scene where Herman uses the razor to cut out his eye? Ouch. Nasty stuff. For a moment, I thought Herman had a chance to escape, but the lock on the bathroom door breaks during Herman’s last stand. As I said before, it’s a nail-biting finale, because I believed in Herman’s chances for survival.

A Ride In The Park

Mike Sullivan (Jay Saunders) is an enthusiastic cyclist. He’s preparing for his daily bike ride in the park, and Mike uses a camera attached to his helmet to record everything. Mike is feeling the heat from his neglected girlfriend, but Mike is forced to deal with a bigger problem during his bike ride. A freighted woman covered in blood pleads for help, and to make matters worse, Mike spots a horde of approaching zombies.

Mike tries to help the woman, but she’s too sick to move. Mike doesn’t have a chance to defend himself, so the zombified woman attacks. Eventually, Mike succumbs to the woman’s bites to complete his zombie transformation. Two unsuspecting bikers approach an unconscious Mike, but a simple 911 call takes a backseat to a life-or-death fight, when Mike attacks the bikers.

My Thoughts: Kudos to Eduardo Sanchez and Gregg Hale (the directors) for providing another refreshing found-footage POV. The rough cut style from Mike’s helmet camera adds a strong sense of realism, and you see every stage in Mike’s transformation into a zombie (i.e. Mike vomiting a black liquid).

Seeing everything through the eyes of a zombie is a GREAT idea for a short. A zombie POV found-footage film has a legit wow factor to it, because it’s a rare occurrence. And a short time frame is the best option for a found-footage short with a zombie POV, because the constant groaning and shuffling would reach a too tedious or boring point after thirty minutes.

As a zombie, Mike attacks and turns the two people, who were trying to help him. There’s a weird sequence, where Mike and the girlfriend of the male victim eat the man together. Yeah, it’s pretty bizarre.

Things pick up again, when Mike and the other zombies invade a little girl’s birthday party in the woods. After a nasty brawl, Mike receives a phone call from his girlfriend, because he accidentally “butt dialed” her. For a brief moment, Mike remembers his true identity, and he’s forced to accept the murders as a zombie. Mike can’t live with the guilt, and Mike realizes he’ll never enjoy a healthy and normal relationship with his girlfriend again, so Mike uses a shotgun to commit suicide.

All hell breaks loose at the birthday party, when the zombies attack. It’s a hellacious scene, and the gruesome sight of Mike’s dismembered head after the shotgun? Nasty stuff.

Safe Haven

In Indonesia, an investigative news team plans to expose a satanic cult with a documentary and hidden cameras. Malik (Oka Antara) is the lead reporter, Malik’s best friend, Adam (Fachry Albar) is a cameraman, and Malik’s fiancée, Lena (Hannah Al Rashid) provides a helping hand as an interviewer.

Father (Epy Kusnandar) is the sadistic leader, and he’s under fire for horrible and unspeakable crimes against the children of Safe Haven. Eventually, the team unravels the dark and evil mystery behind Safe Haven, and Father’s master plan comes full circle during his final announcement……

My thoughts: Incredible. Safe Haven is loaded with so many shocking twists and turns, and the diabolical cliffhanger provides a great jaw-dropping moment.

The first shocker? Lena is pregnant………with Adam’s child. Malik accidentally overhears an argument between Lena and Adam with some help from Lena’s hidden camera, because Lena can’t live with the guilt anymore.

But Malik doesn’t have any time to digest an unexpected pregnancy and Lena’s infidelity. After a speech from Father, everyone in Safe Have commits suicide at the same time, and you can forget about running, because Father’s more obedient servants will hunt you down with a shotgun.

After a while, Adam is on a short list of remaining survivors. Malik is dead, Father murdered another cameraman with a box cutter, and a group of women kidnapped Lena. And Adam runs into another wall of trouble, when the dead (including the children and Malik) are resurrected as feral creatures.

Meanwhile, an abducted Lena is the victim of a satanic ritual. Before a desperate attempt at a rescue for Lena, a deranged Father stands in front of Adam. He’s smiling and babbling about something, and in a matter of moments, Father literally explodes in front of Adam.

Adam fights off a group of women surrounding Lena, and he notices a series of symbols on Lena’s stomach. Suddenly, a winged monster with a giant horn emerges from Lena’s stomach. Lena is dead, and Adam tries to escape, but the monster catches Adam in the car. In the wreckage, the monster refers to Adam as “Papa.” Here, it’s revealed the monster is Adam’s child. In the end, a confused, delighted, and frightened Adam is laughing and crying with drool and blood running from his mouth, as his child is perched on top of the wrecked car.

Mind-blowing stuff. Safe Haven hits in you the face with so many shocking haymakers, and this short includes everything a horror fan could ask for. Tons of blood, disgusting gore, brutal deaths (i.e. a cult member’s head exploding after a point blank range shot from a shotgun), and devilish carnage. When Safe Have kicks into high gear (after Father’s announcement), you won’t be able to pull yourself away from the screen. I guarantee it. Safe Haven is easily the best short in V/H/S 2, and for my money, it’s better than every short in the original V/H/S.

Also, Safe Haven doesn’t use subtitles. Lena rejecting Adam is the only scene, where you’ll hear consistent English dialogue, because the characters in Safe Haven speak Indonesian. You’ll hear a few words of English every now and then during the chaos, but 95% of Save Haven is spoken in Indonesian. Safe Haven looks and feels like an authentic undercover documentary, and the decision to omit subtitles is the icing on the cake.

Slumber Party Alien Abduction

Randy (Cohen King) and Gary (Rylan Logan) are determined to ruin their big sister’s date night with some help from their friends Shawn (Zack Ford), Danny (Josh Ingraham), and the family dog, Tank.

When mom and dad leave the house for a vacation break, Jen’s (Samantha Gracie) date with her boyfriend, Zack (Jeremie Saunders) is disrupted by a barrage of pranks, but Jen gains the upper hand with some help from Zack during a sneak attack. But the feuding siblings are forced into a truce, when a group of Grey aliens show up…………

My thoughts: Stupid. It’s one word you can use to describe this short. Why should I care about characters, who are too dumb to react to OBVIOUS warning signs? The most obvious warnings signs? Blaring horn noises in the background, flashing lights from a flying saucer, and during an underwater scene, you can see the hazy image of a Grey alien reaching towards the camera. Of course, Jen decides to call the police AFTER the aliens attack. Ugh.

The finale? Again, stupid is the only word I can use to describe it. Zack is toting a rifle, but a Grey alien snatches him. After Zack’s abduction, the Grey aliens abduct everyone else one by one, and Tank suffers a brutal death after a LONG fall from the sky.

Slumber Party Alien Abduction is the worst short in V/H/S 2, easily. And it pains me to say that, because Jason Eisener directed Slumber Party Alien Abduction. He’s the same man, who directed Hobo With A Shotgun, and Hobo With A Shotgun is one of my all-time favorite exploitation films.

The laundry list of problems includes moronic characters, annoying horn noises, nauseating shaky cam garbage, and the Grey aliens? Please. They’re a joke. Sorry, but the Grey aliens don’t inspire fear, they’re not intimidating, and the lumbering movements are laughable. There’s a chance the Grey aliens in V/H/S 2 wandered out of a botched slapstick gag, because they don’t belong in a horror film.

Tape 49 Conclusion

Ayesha is still watching the tapes, while Larry searches the house for more clues. After the second tape, Ayesha is suffering a nosebleed, and she complains about a severe headache. Eventually, Larry returns with some painkillers, but Ayesha is laying on the floor without a pulse, and Larry starts a tape with “watch” written in big red letters across the top.

Suddenly, Ayesha awakes, but she’s a different person. As a ferocious and feral creature, Ayesha tries to attack Larry. Larry hides in a closet for protection, but he’s not in the clear yet. In the closet, Larry comes face to face with the stranger…….

My Thoughts: So who’s the stranger?

**Drum roll**

It’s the mother’s son. Yep. He’s the mystery man, who recorded the introduction at the beginning, and he’s the same guy, who stalked Larry and Ayesha. Why? Because the college kid wanted to make his own tape for the VHS collection.

After Larry finishes the last tape, he watches a recording of Ayesha and himself entering the house. On the same recording, the college kid uses a revolver to shoot himself in the chin (nasty, NASTY stuff). Larry is out of options in the closet, so when Ayesha lunges at him, Larry uses his gun to shoot and kill the evil Ayesha. But Larry is caught off guard, when the deformed college student attacks. The college student gains the upper hand, he strangles Larry to death, and to close out the movie, the college kid gives a thumbs up to the camera.

Revealing the college kid as the attacker was a nice surprise, but in the grand scheme of things, Tape 49’s conclusion can’t measure up to anything in Safe Haven. Unfortunately, Safe Have set the bar high for SHOCKING surprises, so when you compare the two, the overall quality for Tape 49’s storyline is so-so at best. On top of that, Slumber Party Alien Abduction was awful, so the conclusion for V/H/S 2 was doomed from the start. After the preceding abomination, perfection was necessary for a shot at redemption, and Tape 49 didn‘t have a chance.

Summary: When it’s all said and done, V/H/S 2 isn’t terrible, but I had bigger expectations for this. Without Safe Haven, V/H/S 2 is mediocre film at best, because Slumber Party Alien Abduction almost drags this one into the dumpster. Yeah, it’s that bad.

Still, V/H/S 2 deserves credit for using refreshing and inventive methods to justify a found-footage POV (Phase I Clinical Trials, A Ride In The Park, etc.), and V/H/S 2 should satisfy the more extreme and bloodthirsty horror fans. Nudity, an overflow of blood, and disgusting gore. You name it, and you’ll see it in V/H/S 2. V/H/S 2 is more darker and sinister than its predecessor, and Safe Haven is a must-see. If Phase I Clinical Trials and A Ride In The Park bore you, just fast forward to Safe Haven for an unforgettable experience.

Also, I hope we’ll learn more about the people collecting and making the tapes in V/H/S 3. Why are they doing this? Who are they working for? It’s time we take a trip into the rabbit hole to learn more about the tapes. As a fan of V/H/S, I’m keeping my fingers crossed, because I’m hoping V/H/S won’t fall into the Paranormal Activity trap: a runaround storyline (storylines for V/H/S) with no real pay offs in the end.

Rating: 5/10

If you're interested, you can follow this link to read the spoiler review for V/H/S (2012)-

http://mitchmacready.blogspot.com/2012/12/vhs-2012.html

Michael Jordan had another run with the Wizards after winning six championships. Brett Favre was one step away from earning a second ring with the Vikings.

As the world's definitive multi-talented superstar athlete, Trisha Bunrastar is taking an unexpected and shocking leap into a new career path. Assuming the identity of Freechelle Fantabulous, Trisha vows to fight crime and battle evildoers as a superheroine. Will she conquer her new mission? Find out more here! http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFLI6VK

Or take a trip into my special world of madness that includes comedy, horror, and the supernatural in this collection of short stories- http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFMYZ0U

Remember Amazon offers free Kindle App downloads for various platforms. Follow this link to find out more- http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html?ie=UTF8&docId=1000493771

And don't forget to follow me on Twitter here- https://twitter.com/LQuigleyFan1

Trick 'r Treat (2007)(Minor Spoilers Review)

**This review contains MINOR spoilers, no big reveals, plot twits, or character deaths**

Intro- Emma & Henry

Emma (Leslie Bibb) “hates” Halloween, but her husband, Henry (Tahmoh Penikett) is a devout believer in Halloween and the traditions attached to the holiday. After a stroll Warren Valley’s annual costume parade, Emma pushes Henry to remove all the decorations before her mother arrives for a visit. Henry warns Emma about breaking the sacred rules during Halloween night, and Emma learns her lesson the hard way, when a tiny enforcer/demon named Sam (Quinn Lord) decides to teach her a lesson she’ll never forget.

My Thoughts:  Shocking. That’s the one word I would use to describe this storyline. This was a GREAT opener for Trick ‘r Treat, because it sets the tone for the film. You know that Sam isn’t someone to mess with, and you know you’re about to see a sick and twisted horror anthology film, that won’t hesitate to pull any punches.

Principal Wilkins

Steven Wilkins (Dylan Baker) is the town principal for Warren Valley’s elementary school. Steven lives alone with his son, Billy (Connor Christopher Levins), but unbeknownst to other Warren Valley citizens, Steven lives a secret life as a cold-blooded serial killer……

My Thoughts: Dylan Baker is an ideal choice to portray the nerdy and quirky outcast, but there’s a dark side to his character here. Steven receives a dose of his own medicine later on, but there’s a genuinely surprising twist involving the father/son relationship between Steven and Billy.

Scavenger Hunt

Led by Macy (Britt McKillip), Chip (Alberto Ghisi), Schrader (Jean-Luc Bilodeau), Sara (Isabelle Deluce), and Rhonda (Samm Todd) take a trip to an abandoned rock quarry to test the limits of an old legend. Years ago, after receiving a collective payment from their parents, a school bus driver was ordered to murder eight mentally ill children by driving the bus into the quarry head first.

Although, before the bus driver hit the gas pedal, one of the eight chained children escaped, and drove the bus off the cliff. The bus sunk to the bottom of the quarry, killing the eight children, and the bus driver mysteriously disappeared after the incident. Throughout the years, this tragedy was dubbed the School Bus Massacre.

My Thoughts: As the leader, Macy is the “mean girl” in the group, so she feels the need to bully the geek (Rhonda), but Macy’s prank backfires in the worst way, when the REAL threat shows up.

Laurie’s First

At a young age of twenty-two, Laurie (Anna Paquin) is still waiting for her “first.” With some prodding from her older sister, Danielle (Lauren Lee Smith) and her two friends Maria (Rochelle Aytes) and Janet (Moneca Delain), Laurie agrees to attend a party deep in the woods with a wide variety of men for different tastes. But during the trip to her big night, Laurie is stalked by a masked man with fangs.

My Thoughts: With all the teasing and sexual innuendos, you’re lead to believe Laurie is about to lose her virginity, and she’s beyond terrified about the big night, but that’s not  the case. I won’t give away the big surprise here, because the twist is that good. If you’re jaw doesn’t hit the floor after Laurie's revelation, then you’re apart of a tough, tough crowd.

Mr. Kreeg VS  Sam

Living alone with his dog, Mr. Kreeg (Brian Cox) is a miserable codger, who loathes Halloween. Mr. Kreeg uses his dog and a glowing mask to scare trick-or-treaters into dropping their bags of candy at his doorstep, so Mr. Kreeg can have all the sweet goodies to himself. But Mr. Kreeg is stuck in a life-or-death fight, when Sam invades Mr. Kreeg’s home to punish the grumpy old grouch for his all his crimes during Halloween.

My Thoughts: Trick ‘r Treat set the bar high with the previous shorts, the film needed to end with a bang, and Mr. Kreeg VS Sam didn’t disappoint at all. After the big fight is over, Trick ‘r Treat fools you with a baffling conclusion, but everything changes, when some old friends from Kreeg’s past show up.

Summary: Director/writer Michael Dougherty packs a plethora of genuinely surprising twists into Trick ’r Treat, and he uses a smooth interweaving technique to connect the dots with each storyline. And more importantly, Dougherty never clusters everything together to the point where you get the feeling you’re watching a clumsy attempt to be too tricky failing before your very eyes. No, Dougherty carefully moves the pieces of the puzzle into place, and Doughtery’s is able to drop a layer of clever hindsight on each storyline.

It might take some time, but I can picture Sam gaining a loyal fanbase, as the next true horror icon. Sam doesn’t speak a word in Trick ’r Treat, but his menacing presence casts a dark shadow over each storyline throughout Trick ’r Treat. And those who disrespect Halloween in any way, shape, or form, will suffer the consequences after learning an unforgettable lesson from Sam.

If you love horror and Halloween, Trick ’r Treat is a MUST-SEE. Most horror anthology films suffer one big problem: Inconsistency. Well I can tell you, Trick ’r Treat doesn’t suffer from this problem. Trick ’r Treat is loaded with enough twists and turns to keep you on the edge of your seat, dark humor, bloody gruesomeness for the gore fiends, and enough spooky atmospheric tension to provide a handful of bone chilling moments. It’s a festive treat with everything any die hard horror fan could possibly ask for, and after one viewing, you’ll understand Trick ’r Treat’s strong cult following. I can’t wait for Trick ’r Treat 2!

Rating: 10/10


Michael Jordan had another run with the Wizards after winning six championships. Brett Favre was one step away from earning a second ring with the Vikings.

As the world's definitive multi-talented superstar athlete, Trisha Bunrastar is taking an unexpected and shocking leap into a new career path. Assuming the identity of Freechelle Fantabulous, Trisha vows to fight crime and battle evildoers as a superheroine. Will she conquer her new mission? Find out more here! http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFLI6VK

Or take a trip into my special world of madness that includes comedy, horror, and the supernatural in this collection of short stories- http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EFMYZ0U

And remember Amazon offers free Kindle App downloads for various platforms. Follow this link to find out more- http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html?ie=UTF8&docId=1000493771

Follow me on Twitter here- https://twitter.com/LQuigleyFan1

And don't forget to like both of my Facebook pages, because the Mitch MacReady 2 Facebook page includes quotes from both ebooks that can't fit into Tweets- https://www.facebook.com/mitch.macready

Trick 'r Treat (2007)(Spoiler Review)

**This review contains spoilers**

Trick ‘r Treat is a horror anthology film, and characters from different storylines interact with one another every now and then, so I’ll do another separate synopses and my thoughts after each one breakdown review. Trick ‘r Treat is set on Halloween night in the small town of Warren Valley, Ohio, and the story follows various residents in Warren Valley, who encounter a series of bizarre and supernatural disturbances throughout the night. And yeas, this step by step synopses/breakdown of Trick ‘r Treat is in chronological order.

Intro- Emma & Henry

Emma (Leslie Bibb) “hates” Halloween, but her husband, Henry (Tahmoh Penikett) is a devout believer in Halloween and the traditions attached to the holiday. After a stroll Warren Valley’s annual costume parade, Emma pushes Henry to remove all the decorations before her mother arrives for a visit. Henry warns Emma about breaking the sacred rules during Halloween night, and Emma learns her lesson the hard way, when a tiny enforcer/demon named Sam (Quinn Lord) decides to teach her a lesson she’ll never forget.

My Thoughts: Shocking. That’s the one word I would use to describe this storyline. This was a GREAT opener for Trick ‘r Treat, and the image of Emma’s demise is more than capable of pulling a reaction out of you. You knew something bad would happen to Emma after she blew out the candle in the jack-o-lantern, but it wasn’t so easy to predict the severity of her punishment. Sam’s plan? After Henry takes some time to watch a dirty movie inside, Sam waits for the right moment to attack Emma, while she’s alone. Henry awakes from his nap to find Emma crucified as a scarecrow. Limbs dangling, Halloween lights wrapped around her body, blood everywhere. It’s a real nasty sight. This opener sets the tone for Trick ’r Treat, because you know you’re about to see a movie with some sick and twisted stuff, and more importantly, this opener establishes Sam as a lethal threat.

Principal Wilkins

Steven Wilkins (Dylan Baker) is the town Principal for Warren Valley’s elementary school. Steven lives alone with his son, Billy (Connor Christopher Levins), but unbeknownst to other Warren Valley citizens, Steven lives a secret life as a cold-blooded serial killer. For his first victim on Halloween night, Steven poisons young Charlie’s (Brett Kelly) candy, but Steven runs into some problems during Charlie’s burial in the backyard.

My Thoughts: Dylan Baker is an ideal choice to portray the nerdy and quirky outcast, but there’s a dark side to his character here. Steven receives a dose of his own medicine later on, but there’s a genuinely surprising twist here. Throughout the early stages of Steven’s story, Bill constantly badgers Steven into carving a jack-o-lantern. When Steven is finished with Charlie, Steven accompanies Billy to the basement, so they can start on the jack-o-lantern together…but Steven and Billy aren’t carving a pumpkin. No, they’re carving Charlie’s severed head. And Billy puts an extra effort into carving out the perfect eye holes.

Another good swerve. Two thoughts ran through my mind after the first time. 1. Billy’s going to discover his dad’s secret, and freak out. Or 2. You know, Billy carves out a normal jack-o-lantern from a pumpkin. Steven teaching his own son how to kill, dismember, maim, and torture helpless victims? Yeah, I didn’t see that one coming.

Scavenger Hunt

Led by Macy (Britt McKillip), Chip (Alberto Ghisi), Schrader (Jean-Luc Bilodeau), Sara (Isabelle Deluce), and Rhonda (Samm Todd) take a trip to an abandoned rock quarry to test the limits of an old legend. Years ago, after receiving a collective payment from their parents, a school bus driver was ordered to murder eight mentally ill children by driving the bus into the quarry head first.

Although, before the bus driver hit the gas pedal, one of the eight chained children escaped, and drove the bus off the cliff. The bus sunk to the bottom of the quarry, killing the eight children, and the bus driver mysteriously disappeared after the incident. Throughout the years, this tragedy was dubbed the School Bus Massacre.

Macy has plans to summon the zombified versions of the eight children by collecting eight jack-o-lanterns, and using them as peace offerings for the children. But a harmless hoax takes a turn for the worst, when something unholy emerges from the depths of the quarry.

My Thoughts: As the leader, Macy is the “mean girl” in the group, so she decides to pull a prank on the geeky outsider, Rhonda. With Chip, Schrader, and Sara’s help, Macy tries to scare Rhonda with costumes resembling the eight children. Rhonda is frightened, but things go too far, when Rhonda bumps the back of her head on a rock after a fall, but it’s not over yet.

Schrader puts a stop to the prank, because Rhonda is freaking out, but during Rhonda’s hysterical meltdown, the REAL School Bus Massacre children emerge from the lake. The jack-o-lanterns can protect anyone against the eight children, but Macy defiled the ritual by kicking a jack-o-lantern in the water. Rhonda locks herself in the only elevator that’s capable of reaching the top of the quarry, clinging to her jack-o-lantern like a hunk of precious gold. For revenge, Rhonda rides the elevator back to the top alone, leaving the rest of the group to suffer horrible gruesome deaths at the hands of the eight children. As Rhonda ascends to the top, she gives a cold and unapologetic wave good-bye.

Jaw-dropping stuff. After a while, you knew it was only a matter of time before the real  School Bus Massacre children showed up. But Rhonda abandoning everyone else? Yeah, it’s another Trick ‘r Treat twist that hit me like a slap across the face. It’s easy to feel sympathy for Rhonda, but her willing decision to let everyone suffer a painful end really caught me off guard.

Laurie’s First

At a young age of twenty-two, Laurie (Anna Paquin) is still waiting for her “first.” With some prodding from her older sister, Danielle (Lauren Lee Smith) and her two friends Maria (Rochelle Aytes) and Janet (Moneca Delain), Laurie agrees to attend a party deep in the woods with a wide variety of men for different tastes. But during the trip to her big night, Laurie is stalked by a masked man with fangs.

My Thoughts: With all the teasing and sexual innuendos, you’re lead to believe Laurie is about to lose her virginity, and she’s beyond terrified about the big night, but that’s not  the case. At the party, Laurie attacks her mysterious stalker. Here, it’s revealed Laurie, Danielle, Maria, and Janet are werewolves, and Laurie isn’t looking to lose her virginity, she’s looking for her first kill as a werewolf. If you’re jaw doesn’t hit the floor after Lauire’s revelation, then you’re apart of a tough, tough crowd.

Mr. Kreeg VS Sam

Living alone with his dog, Mr. Kreeg (Brian Cox) is a miserable codger, who loathes Halloween. Mr. Kreeg uses his dog and a glowing mask to scare trick-or-treaters into dropping their bags of candy at his doorstep, so Mr. Kreeg can have all the sweet goodies to himself. But Mr. Kreeg is stuck in a life-or-death fight, when Sam invades Mr. Kreeg’s home to punish the grumpy old grouch for his crimes during Halloween.

My Thoughts: Trick ‘r Treat set the bar high with the previous shorts, the film needed to end with a bang, and Mr. Kreeg VS Sam didn’t disappoint at all. During the fight, I seriously had no idea, who would come out on top, as Mr. Kreeg struggled to defeat Sam. It’s funny, because Sam constantly toys with Mr. Kreeg at first, but when Sam prepares to deliver the final blow with his pumpkin lollipop, Sam decides to walk away? That’s right. Sam uses his lollipop to remove and eat a candy bar from Kreeg’s chest, and he causally strolls out of the house like nothing happened. It’s a baffling conclusion, but everything changes, when some old friends (more on that later) from Kreeg’s past show up.

Summary: Director/writer Michael Dougherty packs a plethora of genuinely surprising twists into Trick ’r Treat, and he uses a smooth interweaving technique to connect the dots with each storyline. And more importantly, Dougherty never clusters everything together to the point where you get the feeling you’re watching a clumsy attempt to be too tricky failing before your very eyes. No, Dougherty carefully moves the pieces of the puzzle into place, and Doughtery’s is able to drop a layer of clever hindsight on each storyline.

A prime example for clever hindsight is Mr. Kreeg’s storyline. During the beginning, Mr. Kreeg insults Steven in his backyard, as he’s burying Charlie. Moments later, you see Mr. Kreeg BEGGING for help from Steven’s POV. To return the favor word for word with a cold shoulder, Steven responds with “Screw you,” and Steven walks into his house without looking back. After Steven leaves, an anonymous attacker strikes Kreeg. Later on during Kreeg and Sam’s fight, it’s revealed Sam was the anonymous attacker.

And Laurie’s First is my favorite storyline in Trick ‘r Treat. Dougherty’s set up for this twist was perfect. Laurie is strolling through the woods by herself. The masked stranger reveals himself as a vampire, and he bites Laurie on the neck. Seconds later, a body falls into the campfire party with Danielle, Maria, and Janet. You think it’s Laurie……but you see a terrified Steven. Steven posed as a vampire with fake fangs (earlier in the film, Steven murdered a young woman during the parade using the fangs), but in a shock, Laurie turned the tables on him. Steven was such a despicable and cowardly lowlife weasel, and he FINALLY got a taste of his own medicine in the end. Oh, and Marilyn Manson’s “Sweet Dreams” was a nice fit as a background song for the nightmarish ambiance during this scene.

It might take some time, but I can picture Sam gaining a loyal fanbase, as the next true horror icon. Sam doesn’t speak a word in Trick ’r Treat, but his menacing presence casts a dark shadow over each storyline throughout Trick ’r Treat. And those who disrespect Halloween in any way, shape, or form, will suffer the consequences after learning an unforgettable lesson from Sam.

If you love horror and Halloween, Trick ’r Treat is a MUST-SEE. Most horror anthology films suffer one big problem: Inconsistency. Well I can tell you, Trick ’r Treat doesn’t suffer from this problem. Trick ’r Treat is loaded with enough twists and turns to keep you on the edge of your seat, dark humor, bloody gruesomeness for the gore fiends, and enough spooky atmospheric tension to provide a handful of bone chilling moments. It’s a festive treat with everything any die hard horror fan could possibly ask for, and after one viewing, you’ll understand Trick ’r Treat’s strong cult following. I can’t wait for Trick ’r Treat 2!

Rating: 10/10

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The ABCs Of Death (2013)

**This review contains spoilers**

Twenty-six directors and twenty-six chapters of carnage, The ABCs Of Death will take you on a gory and bloody ride through the alphabet by showing you an assortment of bizarre scenarios for death with each letter. From possessed toilets to deadly farts, The ABCs Of Death spares no expense for brutality, violence, and mayhem.

Oh boy. This was something I’ll never forget, for good and bad reasons. First and foremost, each director/writer for The ABCs Of Death received 100% creative control for their individual letters. Giving creative freedom to the directors and writers was a good thing and a bad thing. On one hand, The ABCs Of Death featured some awesome and shocking shorts (I’ll list my picks for best and worst later on). But on the other hand, some of the shorts were just horrendous, and unbearable most of the time.

It’s a double-edged sword, because the creative freedom really enhanced some of the eccentric uniqueness here. BUT on the flip-side, other directors and writers were trying WAY too hard to be disgusting, shocking, and artistic. Imagine a five year old kid eating a big bag of candy, give him or her a box of crayons or some finger-paint, and then ask them to draw a masterpiece. The end result will be disastrous, and that’s what happens with the bad side of The ABCs Of Death. 

And as with most horror anthologies, inconsistency is a MAJOR problem here. Recently, I watched V/H/S, another horror anthology film. The inconsistency didn’t bother me too much, because if I’m not mistaken, V/H/S only had five or six shorts. But The ABCs Of Death throws twenty-six shorts at you. That’s a lot to sit through, and you won’t have too much wiggle room for bad shorts. A is for Apocalypse was a great opener, B is for Bigfoot was a nice follow-up, and C is for Cycle was really eerie, but things start to go downhill at D is for Dogfight.

The ABCs of Death’s seesaw problem is really annoying. Yeah, when The ABCs Of Death kicked into high gear every now and then, I was glued to the screen, because I couldn’t wait for the next letter. But when everything plummets into a downward spiral again, you’re just stuck there waiting for something good to happen. And with The ABCs Of Death, the long waits feels torturous, because chances are you’re sitting in front of an abomination like F is for Farting.

And here are my picks for some of the best and worst shorts in The ABCs Of Death!

The Best

A is for Apocalypse

A woman is caring for her sick husband, but when he doesn’t kick the bucket on her schedule, the wife decides to speed things up with a butcher knife.

My Thoughts: A is bloody, gory, and shocking. This short sets the tone for The ABCs Of Death, and you know you’re about see a film with some sick and twisted stuff after watching A.

Plus, I enjoyed the twist at the end. At first, you’re wondering why this woman is so determined to murder her husband. After throwing a bowl of scorching soup in his face, she continues to attack him with the butcher knife, and after successfully stabbing him in the throat, the husband demands some answers for his wife’s motivations. The woman reveals a year long plot of poisoning her husband into a slow and painless death. The wife believed in the predictions of an apocalypse, so she didn’t want her husband to suffer an agonizing death. But time ran out, so she decided to try and finish him off before the world came to an end. As the world crumbles, the woman lays next to her husband, and they die together.     

S is for Speed

So two women, who live together are hardcore heroin addicts. One of them has a dream about being chased by the Devil or Grim Reaper (I couldn‘t tell the difference), because he’s coming to take someone with him, and he’s determined to leave with at least one person. The woman having the dream is holding her friend hostage. The kidnapped friend is supposed to be collateral for the time being, because the other woman “isn’t ready yet,” but Death wants the woman, who’s trying to fight the inevitable.

My thoughts: Incredible. This short starts out with a real bang, and there’s a nice little high speed chase at the end. The ending is gut-wrenching, because once death touches the woman he came for, she wakes up into the real world. She ODs from too much junk, and her friend steals the last bag of heroin from her corpse. S is easily my favorite short in this film. Action, emotion, suspense, and the dirty apartment in the real world was an ideal setting for the final minutes of this one.

T is for Toilet

A young kid is afraid to use the toilet for the first time. His parents toss his potty-training toilet in the trash, but the kid has a terrifying nightmare about the family toilet coming to life as a monster, and devouring the whole family………

My Thoughts: The claymation gives this short a cartoonish feeling, and that’s a good thing. The zany stuff in this short is a breath of fresh air, because it gives you a break from the more serious stuff with blood and guts. Yeah, the ending is REALLY messed up, but as I said before, the claymation provides a  lighthearted atmosphere, so it’s not so bad.

M is for Miscarriage

A woman rushes downstairs to grab a plunger, and when she returns to the toilet…..

My Thoughts: Well, Ti West directed this short, so of course I liked it. M is probably the shortest feature in this film, but the final image packs a powerful punch. M’s subtlety during the final shot brought a stunned reaction out of me, and I enjoyed Ti West’s “less is more” strategy.

Honorable mentions: O is for Orgasm, R is Removed, N is for Nuptials  

The Worst

F is for Farting

So the outbreak of a deadly gas is destroying Japan. A young woman, who for some asinine reason is afraid to fart in public, takes refuge with her teacher. The young woman has a crush on her teacher, and her final wish is to die by smelling her fart.

My Thoughts: This….was so bad. It’s so over the top and corny, and most importantly, F wasn’t funny. The CGI for the farts is laughably horrendous, and the ending was beyond ridiculous: somehow, the fart from the teacher transports the student into her rectum.

H is for Hydro-Electric Diffusion

A soldier (who’s actually a full grown British bulldog) visit’s a strip joint during World War II. The stripper is a full grown fox, but as she goes through her routine, the fox eventually reveals herself as a Nazi spy.

My Thoughts: For some odd reason, The ABCs Of Death felt the need to run the evil Nazi storylines into the ground. And what’s more amazing than that, is H is not the worst Nazi themed short. The fox’s cheesy diabolical laugh, the tacky special effects, and the stupid conclusion. Everything was a real chore to sit through, and using mascot-like costumes for the main characters was the nail in the coffin for me. This short is just horrible, and I can’t think of any redeeming qualities for H.

W is for WTF!

So the director/writer is trying to come up with something good for the letter W. He’s struggling to find the right concept, but things take a bizarre turn for the worst, when monsters and psychotic zombie clowns take over the world.

My Thoughts: The “breaking the fourth wall” approach is something different of course (it’s not special, because Q is for Quack did the same thing). But WTF! features the same list of reoccurring problems throughout The ABCs Of Death: bad special effects, over the top and unfunny ridiculousness, and a disappointing conclusion.

D is for Dogfight

Desperate and down on his luck, a man decides to fight a dog for money.

My Thoughts: Ugh, this short had so much potential. There’s a nice twist at the end, because as the dog prepares to rip out the man’s throat, the man shouts the name “Buddy,” and the dog freezes. Apparently, the fighter is the owner of the lost dog, and the current owner of the dog stole him away. The real owner gives a command to Buddy, and Buddy mauls the thief to death. D is for Dogfight could’ve been amazing, but the excessive and annoying use of slow motion killed this short. 

Honorable mentions: Z is for Zetsumetsu, G is for Gravity, and K is for Klutz. 

Showing the word behind the letter after each short was a nice touch. Using the “revealing after-the-fact” technique helped maintain the mystery and element of surprise behind each letter, so you don’t go into each short knowing what’s going to happen.

Still, Twenty-six shorts is just too much. It’s kind of hard to experience feelings of shock and disgust once you get past R, because the previous letters do more than enough to bring out these feelings. For example, X is for XXL is about an overweight woman, who’s tormented by a cruel society. She decides to go home, gorge out on food, and vomit afterwards. Then, she uses various cutting tools to remove the fat from her body, so she can fit into a sexy bikini. That sounds nasty, right? Well, after sitting through other bloody murders, torture shorts, and violent mayhem, I couldn’t experience the intended gross-out reaction for a woman mutilating herself. As the stories progressed, I couldn’t overcome the feeling of being burnt-out, and Z was an awful finale.

The bad outweighs the good in The ABCs of Death. Don’t get me wrong, this film features some great shorts, borderline brilliant in some cases. It’s a unique concept, and combining the alphabet with the storytelling style of a horror anthology film should’ve been a match made in heaven. But the bad shorts are really, REALLY bad, and for me, The ABCs Of Death’s garbage destroyed any chances for a good film.

Also, if you’re the squeamish type, you should avoid The ABCs Of Death. This film features pedophilia, disgusting and gory violence, brutality, tons of blood, and you’ll see plenty of “hard to watch” moments here. The ABCs Of Death is an extreme, repulsive, and vulgar horror movie, and it’s not for the weak at heart.


Final Rating: 3/10

V/H/S (2012)

**This review contains spoilers**

Well at first I tried to include each storyline in one long explanation, but the end result was a massive clusterfuck, so I started over. V/H/S features five separate storylines, and “Tape 56” is the main story arc.

                                                                    Tape 56

A group of thieves are given a simple task by an unknown client: break into an old man’s house, and steal one VHS tape. When the thieves arrive, a TV is set up with a VCR and a VHS tape, and the old man is dead. The leader of the thieves dismisses the old man’s death as a minor problem, and he orders his crew to find the one tape. One member of the team begins viewing the tape in the VCR. Meanwhile, the leader and his crew go to the basement. Here, they find more tapes, but the frustrated leader still can‘t find Tape 56.

But when the thieves return to the television, the old man’s body is gone, and the original viewer for the first tape has disappeared. The leader and a few of his men try to find the missing team member, while one stays behind to watch the series of tapes. Each tape contains footage of shocking and bizarre murders, and one thing is clear, the thieves are not alone.

So as I said before, V/H/S is broken into five separate storylines. Instead of giving a long and jumbled explanation of each tape, I’m going to write the synopses, and give my thoughts after each one.

                                                           #1 Amateur Night

Shane (Mike Donlan), Patrick (Joe Sykes), and Clint (Drew Sawyer) are trying to pick up women. Shane and Patrick are the cocky alpha males, and Clint is the shy nerd. Shane and Patrick come up with the bright idea of making a sex tape, so they force Clint to wear glasses with a hidden camera. After a series of failed attempts, the guys finally pick up two women: Lily (Hannah Fierman) and Lisa (Jas Sams).

At the hotel room, Lisa passes out from too much alcohol, so Patrick and Shane focus on Lily. But Lily’s odd behavior starts to worry Clint. Determined to complete their conquest, Shane and Patrick move in on Lily, but Lily suddenly bites Patrick’s hand, and during intercourse, Lily kills Shane. Lily slowly transforms into a deadly demon or monster (it’s hard to tell). Patrick and Clint will have to fight their way out of the hotel room, and escape Lily’s deadly attacks.

My Thoughts: This storyline provides a lot of brutal gore and bloody kills. I enjoyed the terror and suspense after Lily’s transformation, but the stupid characters annoyed me. First of all, something is obviously wrong with Lily. She looks like an anorexic junkie, and her behavior is noticeably awkward. Lily constantly whispers “I like you” to Clint, and he senses something strange, but Clint doesn't speak up until it‘s too late. Shane and Patrick notice the odd behavior, but they ignore Lily’s mannerisms, because hormones triumph over brains here. Seriously, Lily isn’t normal. She’s an oddball, and the guys STILL had a chance to get rid of Lily after she bit Patrick’s hand. I understand the “WE WANT TO GET LAID!” stuff, but come on, you have to draw the line somewhere.

                                                    #2 Second Honeymoon

Sam (Joe Swanberg)  and Stephanie (Sophie Takal) need a spark for their marriage, so they decide to go on a second honeymoon. A quiet and peaceful trip to a canyon range could jump start the marriage, but Sam and Stephanie receive an ominous warning from a fortune telling machine. One night, a stranger knocks on Sam and Stephanie’s door at the hotel. A strange woman asks for a favor, but Sam refuses. Later that night, a stranger sneaks into their hotel room, while Sam and Stephanie are sleeping. The stranger teases Stephanie with a switchblade, and he or she steals money from Sam’s wallet. Who is this stranger? And why do they want to harm Stephanie and Sam?

My thoughts: Boring. That is the one word I would use to describe this storyline. And it pains me to say this, because Ti West, one of my favorite directors from any genre, directed this storyline. There’s a nice surprise at the end, but everything before that almost put me to sleep.

                                      #3 Wendy & The Killer In The Woods

Wendy (Norma C. Quinones) invites three friends for a visit to her hometown. Joey (Drew Moerlein), Spider (Jason Yachanin), and Samantha (Jeannine Yoder) join Wendy on a simple camp out trip to a local forest. Here, Wendy tells the story of an urban legend. A killer, who hid within forest brutally murdered a group of teens. The teens were Wendy’s friends, but Wendy escaped the slaughter. When Wendy explained the killer’s supernatural powers to other people, nobody believed her. One by one, Wendy’s friends begin to disappear, and fear leads the remaining survivors to one question: has the killer returned to finish what he started?

My thoughts: Ugh, I wanted to like this, but Wendy’s storyline slowly develops into this strange slasher version of The Blair Witch Project. Every time the killer shows up, the video camera suddenly malfunctions, and the killer appears through a series of glitches. Yeah, the malfunctioning/glitch trick is annoying, and to top it off, you can barely see the killer. Also, the twist is really fucking stupid.

Okay, so we’re nearing the end, and Wendy and Joey are the only remaining survivors. Joey is terrified, but Wendy explains her plan, as she records Joey’s final moments: Wendy planed to lure her friends into the forest, use them as bait, set up a series of traps to finally catch the killer, and Wendy could finally erase her reputation as the “crazy girl” in town.

Eh, so what if nobody believes you? You saw what happened, you actually escaped the killer’s wrath the first time around, and after all of that, you WILLINGLY return to the forest? Also, Wendy’s plan was beyond idiotic. You’re trying to catch the killer, and obviously you’re a scumbag, because you’re willing to risk your friend’s lives. I get that. But why did Wendy put herself in harm’s way? It doesn’t make any sense. You know what this guy can do, you know he’s unstoppable, so why would you throw yourself into the meat grinder? Oh, and of course, the killer brutally murders Wendy at the end.

I wanted to like this stroyline, but Wendy’s trip home is loaded with predictable slasher clichés and stupid characters.

                                  #4 Emily & James’ Late Night Video Chats

Emily (Helen Rogers) believes her apartment is haunted. Emily shares a series of late night web chat sessions with her boyfriend, James (Daniel Kaufman). He doesn‘t believe in Emily‘s haunting stories at first, but James changes his mind after Emily’s paranormal encounters with dead children, and the sudden growth of a nasty infection on Emily’s arm.

My Thoughts: Emily’s storyline feels like a cheap rip-off of Paranormal Activity, but I still enjoyed it. A few good jump scares, a frightening conclusion, and there’s a nice diabolical twist at the end.

                                                   #5 The Halloween Party

It’s 1998, and on Halloween night, four friends prepare for a stranger’s Halloween party. Chad (Chad Villella), Matt (Matt Bettinelli-Oplin), Tyler (Tyler Gillett), and Paul (Paul Natonek) are looking forward to the party. But when they finally arrive at the house, the friends can’t find anyone. After searching the seemingly deserted house, the friends accidentally stumble across an exorcism. Unable to fully understand the situation, the friends fight off the people helping with the exorcism, and they “rescue” a victimized girl. Interrupting the exorcism proves to be a deadly mistake, because the evil demon will stop at nothing to repossess his victim.

My Thoughts:  Well I’ll just get the first set of stupid mistakes out of the way first.

1. Why would you go to a stranger’s Halloween party?

2. The house is empty at first, and you don’t see any signs of a party. Just leave.

3. At first, the friends thought the exorcism was a Halloween prank. Okay, that’s fine, but once you realize the exorcism is for real, GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE. You’re going to fight off a room full of creepy guys and a demon? Seriously?

With all that said, The Halloween Party storyline is still entertaining. It’s intense and suspenseful, and the ending will leave you speechless.

                                                          Overall Thoughts

I compare V/H/S to Applebee’s or T.G.I Fridays. You’ll start out with some delicious mozzarella sticks or buffalo wings, but the main course probably won’t live up to expectations. Your piece of grilled chicken or fish will be dry and bland, you might get a burnt hamburger, and a flat glass of beer to top it off. But a dessert could make up for all of that. You know, one of those hot brownies with chocolate fudge, and a scoop of ice cream.

Inconsistency is the problem here. The storylines for V/H/S are hit and miss. Amateur Night raised my hopes, and it was a solid opener for this film. But The Honeymoon just bored the shit of me, and Wendy’s storyline turns into a poor attempt at making a short slasher movie. Things picked up again, when Emily’s storyline rolled around, and The Halloween Party was the perfect conclusion.

V/H/S gives any horror fan everything they could possibly ask for. Lots of blood, gruesome kills, a few good jump scares, and nudity. Overall, the acting is solid, and Hannah Fierman easily gives the best performance as Lily. I appreciate the effort to put a spin on the found-footage genre. The anthology style of storytelling provides a refreshing experience, but the stinkers (Wendy and The Honeymoon) destroy the momentum for V/H/S. 

Final Rating: 5/10