Fantasy Island (2020)

 

**This post contains spoilers**

The Story- Contest winners Gwen (Maggie Q), Melanie (Lucy Hale), Patrick (Austin Stowell), J.D. (Ryan Hansen), and his step brother, Brax (Jimmy O. Yang) journey to Fantasy Island, an island with mysterious powers capable of turning guest’s fantasies into reality. Mr. Roarke (Michael Pena), the host and the island’s ambassador, lays out two strict rules: only one fantasy per guest is allowed, and each guest must see their fantasy through to its natural conclusion, no matter what. 

The island is a seemingly fun getaway for the guests, but things take a bizarre turn, when Melanie encounters her kidnapped childhood bully, Sloane (Portia Doubleday). Melanie teams up with Sloane, and a private investigator named Damon (Michael Rooker) to escape the island. Damon reveals the secrets behind the island’s dark powers, leading to a startling revelation about Roarke’s motivations and his top assistant, Julia (Parisa Fitz-Henley). 

My Thoughts- The performances were really hit and miss for me. Ryan Hansen and Jimmy O. Yang’s routine as obnoxious dude-bros was okay for a few cheap laughs. Maggie Q and Austin Stowell carry a lot of the emotional weight with their performances. Gwen and Patrick are haunted by missed opportunities from their pasts and heartbreaking tragedies, so you can easily understand why it’s not so easy for them to move on. 

Lucy Hale plays a confident Melanie, who just wants to have a good time on the island. Melanie realizes she made a mistake seeking vengeance on Sloane, but it’s all a ruse (more on that later), and Hale did a good job of believably showing Melanie’s twisted side, when she reveals her true intentions.

Michael Rooker adds to the pulse of the cast, with his grizzled and rugged performance as the cagey private investigator. Mr. Roarke? It’s a strange case, because I just didn’t get anything out of Michael Pena’s performance. Roarke is supposed to be a mysterious, important, and powerful man. But Pena weirdly sounds like a guy just plainly reading lines off of a script throughout the movie. A noticeable lack of energy, so I couldn’t buy into the obvious enigmatic presence they were going for with Roarke.

Overkill is always a problem. It’s a bigger problem, when you’re constantly beating a dead horse for something that’s just not working. Dr. Torture is the evil physical manifestation of Melanie’s hated psychiatrist, complete with lips that are stapled shut. He’s supposed to be the unstoppable monster, who tortures and hunts Sloane. Dr. Torture should be scary, a frightening menace. Overall, he’s a character who’s just too goofy, with the muffled grunting behind the face mask, and the sleeveless scrubs to show off his muscles. 

The sight of Nick’s (Evan Evagora) burnt corpse could’ve been shocking, IF they limited his appearances. I get it. Everyone is haunted by Nick’s tragic death, especially Gwen. But seeing a lifeless and charred Nick over and over again killed any chances for a strong reaction. 

The zombies oozing black goo from their eyes is a sign the guest’s fantasies are making a disturbing transition from dreams to a living nightmare. The zombies are supposed to be an unstoppable threat, but the running mascara look is too silly.

As far as spooky stuff goes, Sloane has a creepy doppelgänger. It’s a simple idea. Sloane having to face herself, including all the bad mean girl parts of her past, shows Sloane actually had remorse, and she wanted to make a serious effort to change. 

Fantasy Island has all the right ingredients, but it’s also a film that tries way too hard to do too much. Gwen regrets rejecting Allen’s (Robbie Jones) marriage proposal, and she’s directly responsible for the fire that killed Nick. Patrick has a deep wound for growing up without his father, Lieutenant Sullivan (Mike Vogel), who sacrificed himself to save his troops by jumping onto an exploding grenade. 

The drama between Melanie and Sloane, and Sloane cheating on her husband is a storyline that could’ve been its own movie. There’s also the revelation involving Julia. She’s actually Roarke’s wife, weakened by an illness. A living but sickened Julia is Roarke’s fantasy, a fantasy that only remains intact, if Roarke faithfully serves the island. 

You can easily take your pick between Gwen, Roarke, or Patrick, because either one of their stories is strong enough to be the sole focus for the movie. Melanie’s troubles with Sloane and Melanie regretting missing a date with Nick is another worthy candidate. Fantasy Island actually did a decent enough job of connecting the guest’s backstories, including piecing everything together to show how everyone had some kind of involvement with Nick’s death. But it’s also a lot to digest, and it’s kind of hard to do that, when you jump from scene to scene with different characters and stories.

Revealing Melanie as the mastermind, who planned for everyone to arrive at the island is a decent surprise and a swerve. Melanie is holding a grudge against the guests for Nick’s death, and she still wants revenge for Sloane’s bullying. Lucy Hale is definitely convincing as the unhinged and bitter psychopath. While you can understand why Melanie is hurting, it’s obvious she went overboard with her quest for revenge and Nick’s justice. Melanie got what she deserved in the end. 

The big finale is a whirlwind of cluttered events. Roarke actually listening to Julia’s pleas to do the right thing is a big moment. Patrick fighting the evil version of his father, Sloane fighting her doppelgänger, Gwen facing her demons, Brax struggling to accept J.D.’s death, and Melanie’s vengeance? That’s SIX stories all playing out back to back. 

Some breathing room between the different stories would’ve helped, a chance to truly feel the impact of the tough decisions the main characters were forced to make. Instead, they rushed through the finale to tie up all the loose ends in an obvious attempt to avoid any plot holes before the clock ran out. 

Fantasy Island had a lot of potential. There’s some noticeable messages about dealing with regret, moving on after tragedies, and learning to forgive yourself. Patrick’s sacrifice ironically mirrors his father’s sacrifice. Patrick found the courage to save lives, something he didn’t do, when he was a cop, while Nick was trapped in the fire. 

But Fantasy Island lacks excitement and thrills, moving from one scene to the next without any real tension or suspense. It’s a dull film, where the negatives greatly outweigh the positives. They sort of tease a sequel that’ll never happen, when Brax chooses to stay on the island as Roarke’s assistant in exchange for J.D.’s resurrection. Brax chooses the name Tattoo for a connection and a nod to the show, and it’s a nice way of paying tribute to Herve Villechaize. It’s also a tie-in and a joke for Brad’s tattoo, which is literally a tattoo of the word tattoo.

I do wonder if working in the confines of a PG-13 rating hurt Fantasy Island, because for a PG-13 film it’s still too tamed. You don’t need extreme amounts of blood and gore to make a good horror film, but if you’re truly going with a horror approach for a prequel and a Fantasy Island reimagining, maybe a touch of gruesomeness could’ve helped during certain scenes. 

Rating- 3/10

Cloverfield (2008)

**This review contains spoilers**

In New York City, Rob (Michael Stahl-David) is preparing to take a new job in Japan, so his brother, Jason (Mike Vogel) and Jason’s girlfriend, Lily (Jessica Lucas) decide to throw him a surprise going-away party. Rob’s best friend, Hud (T.J. Miller) is the camera man, who films everything, including good-bye speeches from all of Rob’s friends.

But the party takes an awkward turn, when Rob’s longtime friend, Beth (Odette Yustman) shows up with another guy named Travis (Ben Feldman). In the hallway outside of his apartment, Rob and Beth exchange some harsh words in a heated argument. Recently, Rob and Beth had a one-night stand, and to Rob’s disappointment, Beth didn’t have any plans to take their relationship to the next level afterwards. Furious, Rob wishes Travis “good luck,” as he leaves the party with an angry and embarrassed Beth.

After Rob’s blowup with Beth, a series of random explosions and thunderous roars end the party. Rob, Jason, Lily, Hud, and a mutual friend named Marlena (Lizzy Caplan) run outside to join the crowd of panicked New Yorkers. Suddenly, the head from the Statue Of Liberty rolls down the street, and eventually, Rob, Jason, Lily, Hud, and Marlena learn the shocking truth: a giant monster is wreaking havoc in New York City, destroying everything in its path.

As they try to escape on the Brooklyn Bridge, the monster attacks, destroying the bridge, and killing Jason in the process. Rob receives a voice mail from Beth, pleading with him to come to her apartment, and rescue her before the monster returns. Using guilt and the possibility of one last chance to tell Beth how he truly feels as motivation, Rob leads, Lily, Hud, and Marlena through New York and the monster’s path of destruction to find and save Beth before it’s too late.

T.J. Miller provides some much needed comic relief in Cloverfield. Hud is responsible for 90% of the humor in Cloverfield (you could give the other ten to Lizzy Caplan. Marlena’s argument with Hud in the subway about Superman and Garfield is hilarious), and Miller gives you a break from the constant “OH MY GOD!” or “WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO ABOUT THE MONSTER!” hysteria from the rest of the cast. No real complaints about performance quality from this cast, because I can’t think of anyone, who was noticeably bad, or someone that “dropped the ball” so to speak.

Most found-footage films abuse the shaky cam crap, and unfortunately, Cloverfield is no different. The nauseating and convulsive shaky cam style is annoying, BUT Matt Reeves (the director) deserves some credit for not showing too much in Cloverfield. Yeah, you’ll see a full view of the mini monsters (the big monster releases little monsters from its body to help destroy New York City) before the end, but you don’t actually see full close-ups of the big monster until the very end. The conserved approach keeps you guessing throughout the whole movie. What is this thing? What does it look like? How big is it? Depending on what scares you and what doesn’t scare you, the final close-up reveals for the monster might shock, or disappoint you. Either way, you’ll want to stick around until the end, because with all the teasing, you’ll reach a point where you have to see what the monster looks like.

One of the main reasons why I still have a strange obsession with Cloverfield is, because ’til this day, I can still vividly remember the marketing campaign. It was so mysterious and vague, but I couldn’t fight the urge. I HAD to see this movie. The trailers and TV spots barley showed anything, but the little they did show was enough to hook me in (explosions, firefights with the military, the head from the Statue Of Liberty rolling down the street, etc.). And like a week before the movie hit, they started a countdown with the TV spots, and they added the words “we fight back” on the release date for the movie. You were lead to believe you were going to see an action packed and epic found-footage film, that showed mankind’s last stand against some evil and unstoppable force. To add to all of this, in the preliminary stages, they marketed Cloverfield as 1-18-08 (the release date). It felt like a big event, and you knew you just had to be in a theater to watch Cloverfield on this date.

Although, when it comes to Cloverfield’s marketing campaign, it’s kind of a double-edged sword. They did a wonderful job of hyping up the movie and the mystery behind Cloverfield to the point, where you had to see it no matter what. But the trailers and TV spots were VERY misleading. Yeah, the military fights, and drops bombs on the monster with “Operation Hammer Down” at the end, but that’s the problem. The leading cast isn’t fighting the monster, the military is. And on top of that, the “fighting the monster to save New York and the world” storyline is just used as a backdrop for the main story: Rob, Lily, Hud, and Marlena are risking their lives to rescue Beth, and save her before the monster returns. Don’t be fooled. Rob going after Beth, and falling in love with her again towards the end is the main story. Fighting the monster takes a backseat as a sub-plot. The camera constantly malfunctioning throughout the movie, and showing flashbacks of Rob and Beth together is a prime example of this.

And speaking of Rob, character wise, he’s a real bitch. He risks the lives of his friends to save Beth, and of course, Marlena is attacked and bitten by one of the mini monsters in the subway. When they finally make it to a military checkpoint, Marlena succumbs to the venom from the monster, and to avoid an outbreak of the infection, the soldiers have to kill her on the spot. AND when Lily, Hud, and Rob go outside, Hud starts crying over Marlena’s death. Long story short, Hud had a crush on Marlena, and they actually started to develop a bond before and after the bite. Anyway, like a dick, Rob rushes Lily and Hud, as Hud continues to sob, refusing to give Hud a brief moment to grieve, because you know, “WE HAVE TO SAVE BETH AND TIME IS RUNNING OUT!” So Rob, Lily, Hud, and a wounded Beth make it to the last set of helicopters leaving New York. Lily gets into one, and flies off. Rob, Hud, and Beth get into another helicopter, but the monster swats it to the ground. And guess what? The monster kills Hud on the ground.

None of this would’ve happened, if Rob didn’t decide to risk the lives of his friends to save Beth, and for me, Rob is easily the most unlikeable character in this movie. Yeah, I know. For those of you that watched Cloverfield, Rob gave his friends a choice to go with the military, so Rob could rescue Beth by himself, or come with him to rescue Beth, but come on now. Rob already knew the answers before he asked the questions. Lily is your brother’s girlfriend, Marlena is a real friend, and Hud is your best friend. Real friends wouldn’t let one of their own walk through a ravaged city with a monster running around alone.

Some of the deaths are unreal in Cloverfield. When the soldiers kill Marlena, they drag her into this room with a curtain. Behind the curtain, they show the silhouette of Marlena being put into position by soldiers and doctors, and then, in the blink of an eye, a splatter of blood splashes against the curtain, as Hud cuts away with the camera. The other is Jason’s death on the Brooklyn Bridge. He’s standing over the crowd trying to get Rob’s attention from the other side. The monster attacks, and out of nowhere, a huge hunk of the bridge falls, and crushes him instantly. A handful of jaw-dropping moments in Cloverfield, but those two stand out amongst everything else.

Cloverfield is an intense and shocking found-footage monster movie, featuring a few crafty action sequences. It doesn’t matter how many times I watch it, the beginning to Cloverfield hooks me in, and after that, I have to stick around until the end.

Oh, and a little extra tidbit. Pay close attention to the final home movie with Rob and Beth on the Ferris wheel at the end. Look in the background at the ocean, and you can see the monster falling from the sky, and dropping into the water. It happens quick, and it’s kind of small (because the view of the background is out of focus), but if you look real close, you can see how the monster came to Earth, and eventually New York City. I’ve probably seen this movie six times or more, and I just caught it on my most recent viewing.  

Rating: 7/10